Heels dug in....

This whole blog started writing when I was headed to school yesterday. If you have seen me walking into the building or out to my car, it's quite funny. I'm loaded down more than any person should be. (Thank you Lord for a massage therapist on speed dial).  He brought this verse to mine and started writing...I'm not sure He's finished

Matthew 11:28 The Message (MSG)

 ^28-30"Are you tired? Worn out? Burned out on religion? Come to me. Get away with me and you'll recover your life. I'll show you how to take a real rest. Walk with me and work with me—watch how I do it. Learn the unforced rhythms of grace. I won't lay anything heavy or ill-fitting on you. Keep company with me and you'll learn to live freely and lightly."

I am so visual....last night when I was asking yet again could things get a little easier and He said nope ;-) Then He showed me a picture of Him with His heels dug in, hugging close to my backside. In other words, I'm not going anywhere at this point and neither are you. I don't know about you, but I like it when it's easy. I like living inside my comfort zone, God however has other plans. Last year was to show me how strong I can be, this year was to show me how strong I am. Sometimes the power we need from God is not His rescuing power, but His staying power. Jesus wasn't a runner and neither are we if we can keep our flesh in check. Honesty check.........that's not easy!

I don't know what those of you are reading this are dealing with at this point, but I do know this...God's got His heels dug in and He's got your back. He's holding on to you so you won't run and take the easy way out. It may seem easy at a time, but God's plans always win so learn it now and move forward. I know there are days when crying makes you feel better, when you feel like the weight of the world is on your shoulders, when you feel like you are going in more directions than you can, God's got a plan. It may not make sense to you right now(trust me there are days I can't see the answers either), but I've learned to trust His heart and not my own. The discipline muscle is getting stronger, and with practice He will make perfect.  Until then, all we can do is the best we can do each day. Trust Him, let Him help carry some of the stress, and on days when you feel like you are dragging more around than you should have to, share with a friend, and if that doesn't work...crawl up in His lap and know He's got you.

Reflections

I know some of you have been wondering about a new blog, but to be honest He's not done writing the ones He's started. This may take a little longer, not because He's not a patient and incredible God, but because sometimes you can only apply discipline to one thing at a time. Think about that for a second, if you have had a day where its just been one thing after another, how hard is it to eat healthy and make time for exercise? Usually the stress we feel in our lives hurts one person, us. Sometimes your day keeps you so busy, that it is HARD not to get discouraged, down, and turn into that negative one. My hope is that after I'm on the other side of this mountain, I'll have more to share with you about how to keep praising regardless of what the day throws your way. Right now I'm still in the middle of it. I would be amiss to try and tell you now how to overcome your feelings when I'm still working my way through it. Be encouraged though, everyone has those days. I think God knew that from the beginning. I am amazed and humbled by how much He trusts me. This journey He and I have been on 15 months has not been wasted. After you have been through one of those "Me and God" journeys, you are more prepared to climb a mountain that's just you and Him. Feelings will keep you looking for someone to have a pity party with, but sometimes its just another part of the journey.  It's not about me, it's about me and Him. He'll pour into you when He knows you are ready. If you pour into yourself before it's time, you'll still find that the pitcher may have holes. This song below has been an encouragement to me this week. We are all climbing some mountain, some of those mountains are truly mountains inside and out, some are mountains we have placed in our own paths all because we didn't read the map correctly, and some are mountains to test our endurance and develop our strength. God's started a lot of stuff, and I can't way to see how He finishes it! The best is still to come. Before I insert the video...Here is a quote from Joyce Meyer's magazine this week: "Emotions RISE UP and then move out, wanting us to follow them. When I feel that, I know I need to take action. " Lord help me to stay put unless its YOU moving out.

Until next time sweet readers!! Enjoy the week and know you were BORN to climb! What He starts, He always finishes and as long as you are still here, you are NOT done! Forgive yourself if you make a mess out of the day, know in your heart what He's called you to do and do it regardless of what anyone else says! Be the YOU He made you to be and not the YOU others may want you to be. You and You alone know what He's put in your heart to do, and He didn't put it there to just sit.

From the files.......

Several new blogs are in the works, but for now here is one from the files. Our steps are not wasted as long as they point someone in  His direction. Until next time precious readers............

The Victory Path (written in late 2007)

 “Driving along the path with my trusty map, I was sure I could find my way to the destination, the place where X marked the spot.  I loved treasured hunts and this one proved to be just as exciting, until I came to the spot. I didn’t know what to do when I got to the spot, see the map didn’t say anything about this fork that was there.  Where did this second path come? The one I was on was so well lit; it had all of the conveniences of home. There were restrooms at each light, fast food restaurants every few buildings.  The second one however was full of well…nothing that I could see.  It reminded me of the back roads we have back at home.  Roads you don’t get on, unless you are absolutely sure you don’t have to go to the bathroom, and are absolutely sure you know where you are going.  They are often times not well lit, and can be twisty and curvy. Logically, realistically the decision shouldn’t have been hard to make, but I was intrigued by this other path. However I was not feeling confident enough to take that path until I saw the foot prints.  These foot prints went right down the middle of the road and had a glow about them.  Even though the map I had was for the more traveled path, something inside of me told me to take the other path.  I fought the voice long and hard with every excuse I could come up with that seemed to be reasonably.  Nothing worked; I couldn’t fight the feeling that I was supposed to take that path with the prints.  So I sat the map aside and turned in the direction of the prints.  With each set of prints that I passed a feeling of peace flooded my soul so strong, that it brought tears to my eyes.  I knew this path was the right one to take, even if it wasn’t the way the map suggested.”

 The path He leads us down may not always be the one that is the most comfortable; chances are it won’t be the one that is the most convenient either. Following His steps may not be easy, sometimes it may be up a hill or down in a valley, but a peace beyond understanding and a victory that only He can provide is found with each step.  Enter into this new week following the prints He has left for you!  He’ll tell you each step of the way which way to go, all He has asked us to do is listen. Think about walking along a nature trail right after the leaves change.  If you had walked that same trail just a few weeks earlier it would have looked completely different. The path would have been the same, but the surroundings would look differently.  With each season God brings in your life, your path may stay the same, but as you have found out this year, He changes the surroundings, just as He does in nature with the leaves.  Rest in the fact knowing that you are on the right path even though it doesn’t look like you may have thought, follow His prints that He has left for you and only you and enjoy the journey!! 

 Your daily victory path may not be the same as anyone else, only God knows exactly what it takes each day for you to take that next step. Enjoy the day, listen for the whispers, and just keep taking one step at a time following the path that has been laid out before you. Isaiah 30:21 “Whether you turn to the right or to the left, your ears will hear a voice behind you, saying, "This is the way; walk in it."

Defeat........

So I posted a status one night on facebook this week about defeat. There is a line in the song below that was running through my head that night. Defeat is not of God, but so many times we walk around feeling defeated and its all because we let things get to us(If you can't change it, why worry?). But anyway, to quote Dottie Rambo(the writer of this song), defeat is one word I won't use! Our words need to not to be our feelings, but truth and anticipation(remember His plans are for our good). So just because we can't see what's going on, doesn't mean He has lost the plan. That's a blog for another day about that little word in that verse FOR. (Too many times that verse is quoted and we skip over the word for and talk about His good plans. Disciplining a child is not always pleasant, but it is for their good. Exercise and eating right are not easy, but they are for our good. Sometimes things that are for our good may not always seem good at the time. I'll pick that one on another blog. Enjoy the song! Until next time....

Time on the treadmill

Anyone who has ever wanted to run a race knows that you can't just start out running on the track, you have to train first. For most that training comes from a routine on the treadmill. Sometimes  you have a trainer there with you to tell you when to increase your speed and when to rest, sometimes you have to do it on your own. Depending on your endurance, the time on the treadmill may take longer than you planned. Running on a treadmill takes a lot of energy and even though the counter may say you are increasing in distance, you really aren't going anywhere.

Stay with me on this one.....Life is a journey. Sometimes in our journey we need to stop and have a training moment. We need to build up endurance for that next leg of the race. Sometimes we have to spend some time on the treadmill. God's still right there with us and sometimes He may increase the incline and speed, not to exhaust us or make us feel like we are going crazy, but to build up that endurance to keep going. Time on the treadmill can be difficult because you are running hard, giving it your all,  and feeling like you are going no where. Hold on sweet child, the training will be over soon and the pace will slow. You'll head off the treadmill and feel ready to take on the world!

Where is this coming from you may ask? Well God knows I'm visual and need a picture to explain things. I've asked Him what was up with the intensity I've felt over the last three weeks and tonight I heard the answer.  Tonight He whispered, you've been on the treadmill. Since I've started more than once a running program, this was an example I got very quickly. Running on a treadmill takes a lot of energy and can seem rather boring because you aren't going anywhere. Sometimes though we have those moments in our journey. Times when the speed increases and the incline goes higher, you take off running and giving it your all only to realize you aren't going anywhere. Those times are not easy. Some may call them tests, but I like to think of it as preparation. The treadmill explains the last few weeks for me. I've been running at a speed that is honestly not healthy. I'm not sure if my time on the treadmill is done, but I'm ready to get off and head on to the next part of this journey with Him. However, I'd rather finish the treadmill time now instead of being back on it again soon. One thing is for sure, you can't get off the treadmill and not feel stronger. (Side note...We don't arrive at our journey until we reach heaven. This journey may have more "treadmill" times, but preparation just means something new is ahead. )

Please do not misunderstand this blog. I'm not complaining about anything. I feel incredibly blessed and know that this princess is right where her Daddy wants her. God always has an answer to our questions, and He's not hiding it from us. It may not always be what we want to hear, but it's always right on time. I've learned to share what He shares with me, there may be someone out there that needs to hear it as well. If you feel like the speed has increased and you are running around like " a chicken with your head cut off" , take inventory. If you know you are where He wants you to be, then take a deep breath and keep running the training race. He's preparing you for something even greater. If you aren't sure about what part of the journey you are on...slow down and take a breathe or two...He'll let you know. 

Now all this talk about the treadmill has made me think about how I need to get back on my gym routine next week........
Until next time..........

Honesty Check

This is not a lesson I've mastered just yet, because to be honest my flesh still screams out for this. My flesh still craves those "good jobs" and "you make a difference" etc. However God is slowly revealing His plan in all that. (It's just not an easy one to grasp). Here are some thoughts:

There comes a time when you have to be okay with the fact that you know you are doing a good job. In other words, as long as you know you are doing the best you can and giving it your all, God's good with that and you should be as well. Too many times we become frustrated because no one sees how hard we are working, but God does. The world we live in is a busy one. We will stay frustrated if we are waiting on others to give us a pat on the back or an atta girl/boy. As much as our flesh wants to know that someone sees the effort, there will eventually come a point where despite how hard you are working, no one may say anything. It all comes down to as long as He's happy, we need to be happy with ourselves as well ;-) We have to find our value in what He says about us and not in what others think about us.

Until next time............

Well.....

I wish you all knew how many times I've gone to type in something on facebook lately and thought for a minute and said, nope that's a feeling. (BTW Joyce Meyer's new book came out today and I am soo excited: Living Beyond your Feelings, it's already downloaded on my Ipad).  Like today I almost posted something about walking in the rain to and fro all day, but then remembered that my friends in Texas would love some of this rain. Just to clarify from my previous post(Status-less), I am completely where God wants me for this journey in my life. Does my flesh want to fight it? Each and every step of the way, but God has a plan for this year. If  nothing more than to change me, to stretch me, to grow me. Change is not my friend, but honestly who enjoys it? I can say this though, that last summer prepared for me this. I'm  not the same and God's taken that and ran with it! So on to a new blog...

God and I have an unique relationship and I wouldn't trade it for a thing! I told Him a long time ago I wanted that friendship that I saw in others, I wanted that closeness, and He hasn't failed me yet ;-). Last night He started talking about discipline. That is a blog to come in the next month or so, after I walk a few things out. However, in that conversation, I was asking Him for something and I said, but God you promised, and He said what about your promises? How many times do we ask God for something without doing what He's asked us to do first? We keep expecting Him to move with nothing in return(He's not a fan of one sided relationships). How do I know this whole discipline thought/plan was God's and not mine? Because it was nothing the flesh was going to enjoy ;-) and nothing I knowingly would have felt like doing. As I said though, that's a blog for another month.

Sometimes I think God wishes we would catch up with Him. We are stuck sitting down(probably where we are comfortable) waiting on Him to come back to where we are, but He's waiting on us to catch up with Him. Let that sink in for a bit.............

You may read my blogs sometimes and go I wish I could get to that point where she is writing from. Trust me precious reader, it took 20 years and two life changing days to get me to where I am today. One day that knocks you for a loop will throw you into His arms for awhile, two days and well you get closer than you realized. You learn through those whirlwind times His voice. You learn that you can listen with just a whisper instead of looking for the earthquake. You learn that just because a day doesn't go your way, His promises are always true(and one day He'll show you how they are for your good).

Am I where I want to be? Why no, but I'm not the same I was two years ago that I can assure you. He promised He would finish what He started, and He's only just begun! I apologize now for the stress days( I don't want to say bad), that I am sure are to come. I'll try to hide them as much as possible, but my face sometimes gives it away. It's life and usually there is a blog to come after some of those. Those days happen, don't let them define who you are! Regardless of how the day goes YOU are still a daughter(or son) of the Most High! He knew how the day was going to go before it was even on the calendar, and He knew how you would act/react(and I am sure some days I make Him laugh!!).
Until next time............

Status-less

If you are a Facebook friend you may have noticed that I have been a little quiet lately. The turtle has gone inside it's shell for now. What led up to this status break? A little too much feeling and not enough listening. I love what I do, please understand that, but this year hasn't started off easily and is lacking the ease that usually comes by now. A part of who I am: is giving of myself whole heatedly to something(some call it giving 110%). Well in years past that meant giving to around 10-15 kids, but this year the number has grown. Yes that means more to impact etc., but if I am being honest you can only give yourself to so many before you have nothing left to give. So I have had about 3 weeks if the what about me's and the but it's not fair until I think He got irritated with me.( just like a parent who tells a child something repeatedly...you still love them but you so wish they would listen to you instead of doing it the hard way). I have questioned whether I am even making a difference and told God more than once how unfair it was, how I just wanted something that was mine and to be a part of something. to belong somewhere. ***side note before I move on...I am not perfect and don't claim to be. I want to represent Him well, but some days the flesh(aka feelings) screams louder and wins. This life is a journey. Some days we are walking along and some days we are stuck on the path and not sure when we are getting up. It's life and no matter how much I would rather just leave the turtle in it's shell, sometimes the turtle's journey(thoughts and feelings and all) can help someone out.

So Monday I finally heard Him when He said "Are you done yet?" I was like done with what? See I thought I was trusting Him with all of this, until He showed me that as long as I was still talking about(be it a status on facebook etc.) I hadn't let go completely. He can't work as long as we are trying to. He knows me so well, that He knows I keep trying longer than I probably should.(FYI He knows your heart....talking about something to a friend for prayer or to confide is one thing, talking about something because you want to have a pity party is another). He knew my heart and He knew that I was letting this stuff defeat me more than I should.  Staying quiet unlocks a key to an amazing power(caution: the more determined you are to stay quiet and let Him work the more the enemy is going to try and mess with you(be it thoughts or people asking you how are you?). Has this been easy? NO! Have I done a great job? No, I've fallen down this week, but I've gotten back up. It's not about how much you fall down, but about how many times you get back up. Has anything really changed in my week? Only my reaction. There comes a time when you realize all you can do is the best you can do. He will do the rest. You have to take care of you along the way(if you don't who will?) Value yourself enough to take care of His princess(or prince).

I may stay status-less for awhile longer(no I'm not leaving facebook altogether, just being mindful of what I post). My goal in life is to show Him, if not in the walk, then at least in the falling down and getting back up. Has anything changed this week? Only my reaction and the way I try to handle it. Am I still learning this process? Yes(still falling down and getting back up). So if you have a situation that you have asked God to change more than once and it doesn't seem like things are getting any easier(in fact they may be getting worse), get quiet....chances are God wants to change YOU!
Until next time..........