Alright let's face it....we all have strengths and weaknesses. We all have things we do well and things God does through us well. Someone once said a quote that if we didn't have cracks in our pots, the light couldn't shine through.
This journey has been a bumpy one the last couple of weeks. It seems the more we determine in our hearts to stay the course, the more the enemy tries to throw us off. Being busy this time of the year is unfortunately how things typically roll, it's hard not to be "busy". At the same time though that we find ourselves busy, we need to ask ourselves are we being fruitful at the same times? Are we planting seeds that will be reaped long after we have moved on from that season or are only taking care of what impacts the season now? Think about it....Personally it is still a struggle, but one I have at His feet.
Mask off for a minute....I'll be the first to admit this journey has been tough(then again freedom always has a cost). I'm getting closer to my sweet spot...the place where calling meets destiny. He's burning off, chipping away things that don't resemble Him. I've struggled with this people pleasing thing. I've tried to break free of it on my own, but let's face it, God is the only one that can truly break that chain. At some point when we finally reach the place where we have peace with ourselves, we can have peace with knowing everyone will never always be happy. The enemy will make sure that someone will always be in your path that will mess with that peace. The more I've walked with God, the more I have come to realize...the closer I get to Him, the more than enemy trembles. That though dear readers is a blog in itself. Worrying about what other people think and spending all of your time trying to make them happy, will only leave you stressed, discouraged, and disappointed (and the angels sang AMEN!). I'm horrible at this....and I asked God about it one day. He became clear with His answer, but it has taken me a long time to truly understand what He meant. I've struggled with insecurity my entire life. I've always weighed more than I should, never felt like I looked pretty enough, and was always second place to someone else's dream(hello too many days of being the last kid picked for the kickball team....). I now realize (and when I say now...I mean neon sign last 72 hours....), that insecurity that took root at a young age bloomed into the people pleasing adult. The insecurity from trying to be what other people needed(which we know will never be enough) is not where God wants us to reside. Security in Him, in who He made us to be is where we find true peace. As women I think we struggle with this more than men, but for some it takes more time to let it go and to truly leave it at His feet. Only when we find out where the root started, can we truly pull the weed up and leave it at His feet. So many times we leave the blooms at His feet without dealing with the root only to find it blooms again later.
Mask off minute two: anxiety.....I get stressed very quickly. I let things bother me that shouldn't and I let the stress build up to where it affects me physically. This lead to a migraine last week because I didn't listen to my body, thanks to that lovely timehop app I discovered I had a migraine same time last year. Nothing more than stress...different situations, but the root was still the same. I wanted to be in control. So many times we let the enemy hang the need for control close to our reach and as we keep reaching to try and get a hold of it, we end up falling flat on our face...or exhausting ourselves. Our lives our not our own, they haven't been since we were born. God gave them to us as a gift, and He expects the gift to be used (and not overused or abused...again another blog). Control of that gift is His...yes we get to choose, but He knows exactly the perfect match and fit(if we'll ask). He knows how the day is going to go, so let Him lead. Again...I've laid this bloom down at His feet so many times, but never dealt with the root. When did I feel like I needed to start grasping for control, well pretty sure the root started with a knock on the door December 20th 16 years ago. It didn't get any better with the bus wreck, but that was because I hadn't dealt with the root. God knows what our tomorrows hold. It may not fit our plans, it may make us "feel" stressed, but He already knew that would be our reaction as well. So trust that He knows you and leave Him to your feelings. God knows I over-react. He knows I worry at times, become anxious, and frustrated at myself more than I should. Sometimes I think those things that I keep apologizing for bring Him smiles. If we keep trying to patch up our weak spots, make excuses for them, and try to hide them...how is His light going to shine through? Quit fighting His plan and just leave it in His hands.
I would love to tell you I've found the freedom God promised me on this journey, but I'm still in the process of locating roots and pulling them up. It's coming though....and this Baptist girl is gonna have her a shout.
I don't know where you are on your journey, but He does. Have you dealt with the roots of the weeds or do you keep leaving the blooms at His feet? Walking forward to the place where your calling meets your destiny requires leaving the roots of the weeds(anxiety, insecurity, discouragement, doubt, and fear), requires leaving your past at His feet and running the race He has called you to run. You can't run with endurance when until you cast off the weight, so leave it at His feet today.
Be Blessed Readers,
~Melissa
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