He gets me, mask off for a minute....

Alright let's face it....we all have strengths and weaknesses. We all have things we do well and things God does through us well. Someone once said a quote that if we didn't have cracks in our pots, the light couldn't shine through.

This journey has been a bumpy one the last couple of weeks. It seems the more we determine in our hearts to stay the course, the more the enemy tries to throw us off. Being busy this time of the year is unfortunately how things typically roll, it's hard not to be "busy". At the same time though that we find ourselves busy, we need to ask ourselves are we being fruitful at the same times? Are we planting seeds that will be reaped long after we have moved on from that season or are only taking care of what impacts the season now? Think about it....Personally it is still a struggle, but one I have at His feet.

Mask off for a minute....I'll be the first to admit this journey has been tough(then again freedom always has a cost). I'm getting closer to my sweet spot...the place where calling meets destiny. He's burning off, chipping away things that don't resemble Him. I've struggled with this people pleasing thing. I've tried to break free of it on my own, but let's face it, God is the only one that can truly break that chain. At some point when we finally reach the place where we have peace with ourselves, we can have peace with knowing everyone will never always be happy. The enemy will make sure that someone will always be in your path that will mess with that peace. The more I've walked with God, the more I have come to realize...the closer I get to Him, the more than enemy trembles. That though dear readers is a blog in itself. Worrying about what other people think and spending all of your time trying to make them happy, will only leave you stressed, discouraged, and disappointed (and the angels sang AMEN!). I'm horrible at this....and I asked God about it one day. He became clear with His answer, but it has taken me a long time to truly understand what He meant. I've struggled with insecurity my entire life. I've always weighed more than I should, never felt like I looked pretty enough, and was always second place to someone else's dream(hello too many days of being the last kid picked for the kickball team....). I now realize (and when I say now...I mean neon sign last 72 hours....), that insecurity that took root at a young age bloomed into the people pleasing adult. The insecurity from trying to be what other people needed(which we know will never be enough) is not where God wants us to reside. Security in Him, in who He made us to be is where we find true peace. As women I think we struggle with this more than men, but for some it takes more time to let it go and to truly leave it at His feet. Only when we find out where the root started, can we truly pull the weed up and leave it at His feet. So many times we leave the blooms at His feet without dealing with the root only to find it blooms again later.

Mask off minute two: anxiety.....I get stressed very quickly. I let things bother me that shouldn't and I let the stress build up to where it affects me physically. This lead to a migraine last week because I didn't listen to my body, thanks to that lovely timehop app I discovered I had a migraine same time last year. Nothing more than stress...different situations, but the root was still the same. I wanted to be in control. So many times we let the enemy hang the need for control close to our reach and as we keep reaching to try and get a hold of it, we end up falling flat on our face...or exhausting ourselves. Our lives our not our own, they haven't been since we were born. God gave them to us as a gift, and He expects the gift to be used (and not overused or abused...again another blog). Control of that gift is His...yes we get to choose, but He knows exactly the perfect match and fit(if we'll ask). He knows how the day is going to go, so let Him lead. Again...I've laid this bloom down at His feet so many times, but never dealt with the root. When did I feel like I needed to start grasping for control, well pretty sure the root started with a knock on the door December 20th 16 years ago. It didn't get any better with the bus wreck, but that was because I hadn't dealt with the root. God knows what our tomorrows hold. It may not fit our plans, it may make us "feel" stressed, but He already knew that would be our reaction as well. So trust that He knows you and leave Him to your feelings. God knows I over-react. He knows I worry at times, become anxious, and frustrated at myself more than I should. Sometimes I think those things that I keep apologizing for bring Him smiles. If we keep trying to patch up our weak spots, make excuses for them, and try to hide them...how is His light going to shine through? Quit fighting His plan and just leave it in His hands.

I would love to tell you I've found the freedom God promised me on this journey, but I'm still in the process of locating roots and pulling them up. It's coming though....and this Baptist girl is gonna have her a shout.

I don't know where you are on your journey, but He does. Have you dealt with the roots of the weeds or do you keep leaving the blooms at His feet? Walking forward to the place where your calling meets your destiny requires leaving the roots of the weeds(anxiety, insecurity, discouragement, doubt, and fear), requires leaving your past at His feet and running the race He has called you to run. You can't run with endurance when until you cast off the weight, so leave it at His feet today.

Be Blessed Readers,
~Melissa

April's messes bring May's message

I left a lot of mess in April. That mess is turning into the message of May. See I was reminded from a friend last night how much the enemy is after our destiny, how much the enemy wants nothing more than for us to not walk in the calling that God has for our lives. There is a shift in the atmosphere, a season change coming....

April was a time of learning what bridges need to be burned, and which ones were meant to be crossed. (Yep love that song...). April was the time where the choice was circle the mountain again or realize the strength to get up and over was mine for the taking. Done with circling the mountain, oh how I never expected the TimeHop app to bring conviction, but it did. Looking at posts from over the years and finding the same things for April for the last four years...time for change. This circling the mountain was only wearing me out and wearing me down(which was what the enemy wanted).

The enemy wants you to focus on the mess, but God wants you to see the message He is writing. I have seen God write a Romans 8:28 story just for me. It's a story I continue to reap from today because it brought into my life precious, precious friends who are like my family now. Friends that had they not come into my life, my life would have certainly not been the same. When God brings people into your life, some are for a reason, some for a season. I'm so thankful these friends are for life and for a reason! How is it a Romans 8:28 story? Well you see these friends came into my life because of one of the darkest days, losing my sister. God took something that I couldn't see how good was going to come of it, but He knew even then. I am forever thankful and grateful for my Romans 8:28 story and my friends that sow into my life daily.  God gets the glory for turning messes into messages when we let Him. It's our choice if we keep the message to ourselves, or if we choose to share it as much as we can. Our mess becomes our message when we let God use it for His glory instead of stuffing it inside and letting the enemy win. Chains are broken when we let God change the mess into a message. The focus turns to what God is doing(or has done) instead of what the enemy is doing.

April was a season of refinement, a season of bring things up to the surface that I had stuffed or put a band-aid on. I'm not perfect and most days I tend to wear the less perfect me, the pitiful one for others to see instead of the powerful one that some get to see. Sometimes it is easier to let others see the stress and worry than the victory when it comes....that shouldn't be. We need to let others see the victory more or at least as much as the other side. In teaching, we call it productive struggle. God's been letting me struggle for some months now, because He knew it was productive. He knew that the end result would be broken chains and a mess left in the hands of the Maker. The process was needed in order to make me into more of who He made me to be. Thank you Lord for knowing what was best, even though I know I repeatedly asked for the mess to be removed. God doesn't always change the circumstances as much as He changes us. We may see it as a prayer unanswered, when all the while God is giving us the desires of our heart and answering prayers we didn't even know we needed to pray.

I'll write a detailed blog soon. God's been breaking chains, chains that until just a few weeks ago I thought they were already broken. When in fact, I had excused the chains...made a case for why they were there instead of trusting the One who could not only break them, but could take them away. As children of God, the chains are ours for the breaking. We are the ones that allow them to stay on by not realizing the power He has given us as sons and daughters of the Most High.

Ask Him for revelation today. Trust that He knows your heart, but more than that He knows the destiny He has planned for your life. He knows what you don't and sees what you cannot. Trust is sometimes a moment by moment choice. There will be moments when you let feelings take over, that's where grace steps in. Realize it, deal with it, and move forward. Feelings will always be an issue if you don't let truth speak first.

The moments where you stumble and fall are also the moments where you get to experience the hand outstretched of grace helping you back to your feet to keep moving forward on this journey we call life. He planned for you to live it abundantly and that means free! Deal with the chains of the past, the stumbles of the present, so you can walk confidently into the destiny He planned even before you took your first breath. That's how much He loves you!

Have a great week!

If you seek Him....

His word says if you seek Him you will find Him. If you are looking for answers, He will give them to you. Just be prepared when you start asking, you may not always be prepared for the answers. IF you want to know what you should do next, listen....He will show you. So many times we get frustrated and stressed out because we don't feel like He is answering our questions, prayers, requests but He is. We keep looking for the answer we want, when we should be looking for the answer He wants. We look for the way we want things to turn out, but we should be content and thankful He gives us what He has planned. Oh how many times if we could look over the side we would see He's trying to get us over the cliff or the bridge and the only way to not fall is taking each step with Him.


The more determined we are to stay the course, the more the enemy will do what he can to throw us off course. Stay the course regardless of feelings.....stress will come..God's bigger than it. Sometimes we pray for God to take away the overwhelmed feelings or give you more hours to get the list done, but He wants to show you His peace. Peace to stay focused on Him which leads to energy to do more. Peace to know He's helped you finish the list every year, this year isn't going to be any different. Peace to know He's got this...because He's got you.

If we never had strengthening times, we would never know how strong He really is. The moments that make us feel should remind us to kneel.

I'm not perfect, no one is....but I am head over heels with the One who is and He gets me. Birthday is in a couple of weeks and I'm so looking forward to this upcoming year. For once I'm focused, moving forward and leaving some junk UNDER His feet. I asked Him for answers, He said it was time to rip off the band-aids, so apparently healing is His plan for this season. We all have struggles and scars that have made us who we are. It's our choice if we cover them up and hide them, or let Him use them for His glory.

This morning He knew I needed something. He knew I needed that push to keep moving forward. I've been on this journey just two weeks and I was ready to just sit down and say enough, I'm done. Oh how that would have made the enemy happy, but guess what God's bigger than that. His revelation came right on time this morning. So if you are wanting to just sit down and stay put instead of moving forward, don't! God has a purpose and wants nothing more than to see your chains crushed(not just broken!). Keep doing what He told you to and know He is stronger than any feeling that makes you want to do otherwise. More on that later...

Have a great week readers! This girl is getting ready to see some chains crushed....

Moving Forward Journey Part 1

I wanted to wait until the journey was fully complete to type the blog out, but God prompted me last night that could be a very long blog. So here's to the start of the journey thus far and what He has taught me.

Last night the Casting Crowns concert was simply amazing. It was more than a concert, it was church, it was worship. When you are listening for whispers, you hear them. When you are asking for revelation, He reveals. When you are seeking truth, you find it. When you are searching for Him, He's right there.  So much that was said last night was confirmation to this place I am at right now, to the moving forward journey He has called me to.

I wasn't looking for a journey shift exactly, but I was praying for answers. I wasn't looking for the next step just yet, but I was praying for peace. I was looking for the mountain to be moved, but He was looking for me to climb it. God has been pricking my heart with the Time Hop app over the last couple of weeks, and last week He started putting some pieces together. This time of the year is ALWAYS stressful at work regardless of location, job title etc. Stress will find you in the Spring if you are in the field of education. Reality check: I am easily overwhelmed when the to-do list is longer than the hours in the day. I am easily distracted by trying to do for others when that may not be what He's called me to do. (Need to please versus call to serve...but that's a blog in itself). My focus hasn't been right over the last year or so, but I wasn't exactly sure where I got off course. If you are feeling that way and not exactly sure where you took a mis-step, keep listening and seeking truth...He will lead you back to the place He planned. Stress and Chaos are not from God, they are tools the enemy uses to get straight to our heart and mind. The enemy is clever in knowing that if he can keep us busy and overwhelmed, we won't slow down long enough to listen to God's whispers (much less ask Him to whisper). We get so focused in capturing the moment so we can post it on social media that we forget to just savor and enjoy the moment. We are exhausted running the race while barely noticing we aren't going anywhere. The busy race is not productive, it keeps you running in circles(which only leaves you disorientated and frustrated). So back to me...Sometimes God doesn't change the situations because He wants us to rely on His strength in the midst of what the world calls stress. God can handle the list, if we let Him. He can provide a strength and energy that only comes from Him so that you can focus and accomplish things. The enemy wants you to feel overwhelmed and discouraged, so you start to doubt yourself. Listen closely...You are the child of the Most High and have the power to squash the enemy in the moment. Being a Christian and trying to live according to the busyness of the world is like holding a lamp and never plugging it in. Plug it in sweet reader and draw from the source that can keep the flame burning even when you don't feel like it.

You can't move forward while still chained to the past. I heard that whisper over a year ago, but never understood it until recently. Sometimes we ask God to break the chains, but we don't want to deal with what it takes to break them. Ask God to do a search and to show you anything you need to deal with, take care of, let go of...in order to move forward. When you have laid it all out to Him, I mean really laid it all out(how you feel about it, what you think etc.), leave it at His feet. At some point you have to realize that if you could handle it, you would have already and you wouldn't be stressed about it. God has a destiny planned for each of His children, personally I think mine is closer than I can even imagine. Shake off the ties that bind you and so easily beset you and run the race He has planned for you to run. How do shake it off? How do you let it go? You pour your heart out to the One who already knows it anyway. You tell Him everything, how you feel, what you wish He had done etc., but most of all you tell Him how much you trust Him and how you know He's got this all planned out. God will reveal your steps of obedience to your breakthrough if you listen. He will also place people in your life who will help you move forward to what He has planned for you. Discernment is a gift He gives His children, use it and listen to it....He's been telling you what to do, now do it!

This is getting longer than I planned for the first part. I'm two weeks into this journey and learning to let Him handle the stress moments. I haven't turned to food, I've turned to Him. I'm letting Him do what He does best, and I'm just being me. Being me doesn't always mean perfect, but He knows that. Being me means knowing who He has made me to be, who He called me to be, and who He has purposed for me to be. I'm learning to deal with things I've stuffed over the years and then to release it into the hands of the One who has been waiting on it all along. I'm learning to defeat the enemy with truth, before he can defeat me with stress. I wish I could tell you the overwhelmed feelings and stress have been eliminated(you should see the to-do list), but they haven't. Learning to be more like Him means pressing through opportunities for the seed that has been planted in you to grow into the fruit that He created. Growing takes place through seasons,...and this is the season for blooming!

Take heart sweet reader if you are feeling frustrated. God knows exactly where you are. Quit laying it down at His feet only to pick it back up again. Quit measuring yourself against the standards of the world (comparing yourselves to others). God made you and He knows what strengths and weaknesses He has planned. Trust Him to take care of His creation. Ask Him for Godly counsel to speak into your life and to hold you accountable as you move to the next season and forward on your journey. The enemy wants nothing more than to keep you stationary, dormant, focused on the feelings of the load the world has placed on you. (but guess what....God has already defeated the enemy). So walk in that victory and know that truth always wins!

More to come later! The journey is a process...

Truths...mid-week thoughts...

Oh my I wish I could go ahead and type out the blog that He's writing as I'm walking it, but it's just not time. I can't even put into words the way He is moving and doing what He does best over the last couple of weeks. It's enough to make this Baptist girl want to taking a running spell. Title of this one though is truths, mid-week thoughts 

You can't walk into your destiny, the purpose God has for your life while still chained to the past of yesterday. You may be thinking you are walking clear of the past, already laid that at His feet, but how many times have you picked it back up again? I'm notorious to lay it down at His feet and later on pick it back up again when I have a new idea or think I can "fix" it. At some point, it gets to be either so big you realize you can't or so tiring that you just can't do it anymore. At some point the mountain you keep circling gets on your nerves. At some point you come to the realization and it clicks....God made me to go around and/or over this mountain...Enough is enough. 

At some point you head over the wall regardless of feeling, knowing His destiny is on the other side. 

Quit putting band-aids on something and trying to move forward. Take the band-aid off, pour the peroxide in, and let the healing take place. Yes it is going to hurt, but healing starts when the infection clears. 

I'm going to stop there or I'll be getting ahead of myself and He's not done with the other blog just yet. 

I don't know what you are dealing with right now, but He does. How tired of it are you? Enough that you leave it in His hands and let Him handle it? He never intended for you to carry it on your own silly child, so let Him help. 

It's a process....

I am on a 40 day journey with God. Nothing in particular just need some revelation on a few areas, so I asked Him what I needed to do. The hardest thing to this relationship is the telling our flesh to hush it and listening to the next step, The easiest thing is to stay put, but then again growing becomes stagnate if we stay stationary. I read in a devotional last week about the blind man's healing. It was a process. He had to walk back with that stuff on his eyes and follow what Jesus told him to do. What if he had taken the stuff off his eyes before he arrived at his appointed place? What if he had been walking down that road and just said that's it I give up, I don't want to do this anymore? If he hadn't followed through with what Jesus told him to do all the way to the appointed place, he wouldn't have received his healing and his miracle.

How many times are we in the same situation? God's given us a word of obedience and we stop mid way through and say I'm done. If we would just follow through with what He said (because after all His plans are always for our good and not to harm us), we would have made it to our appointed place and received our healing/miracle/answered prayer a long time ago. We stop when start feeling out of our comfort zone and in short end up having to do the same journey over and over again. I know that feeling. I love the the TimeHop app, but it has also stepped on my toes the last couple of months. Yep He has used my own words this time to push me to the next level. The last couple of weeks have been tiring. Sometimes God gets us back to the point where we realize He is all that can take care of it at this point, so we have no choice but to let Him. I've poured out my heart to Him this week through tears and feelings of..well feelings. He knows my heart and now He is showing it to me through His eyes. I'm so thankful for friends who love you with truth(Not truth as they see it, but truth as He sees it).  Sometimes the ones who are always giving, need someone to pour back into them. Sometimes the ones who are always smiling, need someone to just listen. Being strong doesn't mean you know all of the answers, but you have faith and trust in the One who does.

If I've learned anything from the first week of this digging in journey with God, it's the enemy doesn't like it. Discernment is a gift from Him for a reason. Use it, learn to listen, and avoid some heartache and stress. So many times we let the disease to please become louder than discernment. The enemy wants to make you shake and fear, but what he doesn't realize you have a foundation that can't be shaken. The enemy does not like it when children of God get serious about this journey and living it by God's standards and not his (aka the world's).

He's working on several blogs, most I'm walking out right now. Sometimes I wish I could put my heart into words without worrying if someone is analyzing it or judging it. Soon....   There are some chains about to not just be broken, but crushed. You don't become stronger by picking it back up again, you become stronger by leaving it in His hands.

Monday's moments

I wasn't going to write a blog tonight. I felt one starting, but I was determined "the list" was going to come first. (If you saw how long it was, you would know the struggle is real...) Then I went to my TimeHop and saw a couple of the posts from this day over the last couple of years. Humbled and in awe was all I could say....In awe with some of the words I wrote because I needed to read them again tonight. Humbled by the fact that He has been so patient with me. Patient as it seems the enemy has played the same song and pushed the same buttons yet again. Ding, ding, ding I finally see the answer...What is the answer? {Me}.

So many times we try to control things we can't control, when God only said control ourselves. Well that's a full time job if you ask me. Honesty check, the last couple of weeks have exhausted me. I've given out more than I had to give(which is only my fault). People will take as long as we let them. It's not prideful or wrong, to have me time each day. One of His greatest commandments is to love our neighbor as ourselves. Another little nugget He showed me yesterday was with some of my favorite verses Proverbs 3:5-6. When He said lean not on your own understanding, He never planned for us to understand the bigger plan. When we understand things we forget to trust. When we understand things, we think we don't have to trust. Oh let that sink in on this Monday.

Mondays remind me how thankful I am for grace. I'm thankful for a chance to start again tomorrow. I'm thankful that He knew how my Monday was going to go before I even woke up.

Truths I know from today...God's got a word that He has been trying to whisper all day. This gift of discernment is not always easy, but it is always for my good(when I listen). Feeling effective and being effective in His eyes are TWO totally different things. This mountain is getting old, God and I are going to discuss getting off of it more tonight.

I would love to tell you this will be the only blog for the week, but yeah it won't....God's moving this week, the enemy isn't happy. Monday is almost over...leave your feelings in His hands. Trust that He knows you don't quite understand what He's doing in the midst of what seems like chaos, but He has a plan.

Priceless moment this afternoon was getting in the car and Greater was the song on the radio. If you have never listened to the lyrics of that song, it is truly a Monday song. When you are tired and worn out, He's greater. When you really aren't sure what's going on, He's greater. When you would rather just run and hide, He's greater. He didn't say you would become greater, but He said He would.

Blessings this week!
~Melissa