From my heart...

Not the blog I thought was coming, but after the events of Friday....well it is a blog or bust night.

My heart goes out to the those affected by the tragedy in Connecticut, to the families, the teachers, and the entire community. It's a loss no words can comprehend.

I know what it is like to have presents under the tree and find out the person they were for isn't coming home.  While not a parent myself, I do know what it is like to feel the need to shield and protect the kids you have been entrusted with or the ones who may just be sitting next to you when something happens. I know what it is like to look at something that has rocked your world and go God what are you doing. So many people throughout this weekend have questioned where was God on Friday and why didn't He stop things before they happened. Please hear me when I say this, we live in an evil world and it is only going to get worse. Can I say why God didn't stop things on Friday? No I wish I could. That's just one on a growing list of why questions for God. That's where faith and trust come Him. When you can't see what He's doing and where He is at, you have to trust His heart. I promise you this, My God was all over that school Friday if not there would have been even more tragedy.

I've been reading posts on social media outlets this weekend and my heart hurts for more than just the families in Connecticut. People have made posts some out of grief or just shear not thinking, but it has exposed the true issue at hand....their heart. God sees our actions, but He cares about our heart. His word has and always will accomplish what it set out to do and somehow in the midst of all of this sorrow, grief, and just sheer tragedy good will come. As anyone who has ever lost anyone close, you know it takes TIME, and more time before you have the ability to see through His eyes and see how He has used something so evil for good. (Remember Genesis 50:20). Does it make the pain go away any quicker, why no? I am well aware of that. It's times like these where you have to decide what you are going to do with your questions(whys), your tears, your brokenness etc. I've seen both sides of this. I've watched someone who lost someone close to them, take their questions, tears, and brokenness and give it to God to use as only He could. I've also seen someone who let those questions, those tears, and that brokenness and let it eat away at them and drive them further away from the One who can heal. There is a vast difference in outlook and life between the two. God didn't say it would be easy, but He really does want to be the One that dries your tears.

I've also read posts addressing prayer taken out of school etc. Yes the government messed up when they took prayer out of school, but that was only the beginning. The list of rules and regulations and dos/don'ts that have come since then is just plain ridiculous. Hence the need for more Christian teachers to take a stand. I've heard the old adage that as long as there are tests in school there will always be prayer in school, while the same is true for Christian teachers and prayer. While the stand we may take is silent, I can assure you there is prayer still in school. We can't initiate it, but we can take our requests to God throughout the day. I think too many times we look at prayer as closing our eyes and bowing our heads, but it is so much more than that. It really is just like talking to Him....so yes throughout the day there are teachers praying, not out loud but silently in their hearts. You don't hear about it because it's between them and God. It's one of many things teachers do that you don't always hear about ;-) (buying lunches, Christmas presents, conversations spent just listening to parents talk just to name a few etc.). My prayer each and every day is to just live it for Him. He'll put people and situations in your path to love and be a light for Him. Love is a language all can understand.

God gave me a word earlier this school year (when I was asking a why question no doubt), He said to love them. Love them like He loves me. Love without question, Love with grace, and Love with forgiveness. Love with His love. That's a blog for another day though ;-)

So many of you reading this may be feeling fear and wondering what tomorrow may hold. Well I can't tell you what tomorrow holds either, but I can tell you who holds tomorrow. If I've learned anything this month it is that we can plan all we want, but He directs our steps.(It's a lesson I've had repeated every couple of years). We can make plans and God encourages that, but in the end we still have to place those plans in His hand and just follow His next step. I don't know the details about your tomorrow(or mine ;-)), but if you are a Child of His...I know He's got you. He knows what time you will get to work, the traffic you will encounter, the people you will meet tomorrow, and the ones who will need you. He also knows how you are going to feel tomorrow. He knows your heart and the fears that you  have.  The quicker you give fear over to Him, the faster faith can take over. When fear knocks at your door, let faith answer. Fear is always going to be around, that is the world we live in, but faith is there too for those of us who are children of the Most High.

So walk into tomorrow, trusting Him with your fear(and other feelings), and having faith that each step you take will be ordered and covered by Him.

Live each day for your audience of One! Don't let a moment slip by without giving it your all, without telling those who you love how much they mean to you, and most of all knowing that He has you in the palm of His hand regardless of what the world throws at you.

Until next time,
~Melissa