Monday Musings....(thoughts and reflections from the heart...)

I've been doing a lot of thinking lately(probably too much on some days), but anyways. This time of the year always makes me reflective. Tomorrow we have a work day and at the end of the day, year 8 will be a wrap. The lessons learned in this school year which was just 187 working days are more than I could fill a book with. Some of the lessons I learned willingly, some I had to learn the hard way. With that being said, I didn't know how strong I was until this year. If you know me and know about some of what I've been through prior to this year, that may seem like an off statement. Hear my heart for a minute....sometimes it is much easier to trust God and walk with Him through the big stuff then to let go of the little things and just walk with Him period. That's been the theme for this year. Getting out of the boat and just staying focused on where my focus should be. I wish I could tell you I've passed the test, that I walked on the water with Him more than I sank, but I haven't. I'm still along way from where I need to be, but I'm also a long way from where I used to be....that would make me stuck in the middle ;-) (That's a blog for another day). I am my own worst critic and some days I can feel my way through the moments with the best of them. I am also my own biggest cheerleader and some days I can follow my way through the moments with Him. He's bringing me to a place of being steady, but it takes a lot of letting go. Letting go is not just words to say, but it is steps to be made. That thing we are trying to carry around isn't heavy if we leave it at His feet.

I prayed several times this year for God just to fix the situation, to change things, but instead He changed me. This journey is a walk of trust and some days we may want to feel our way through, but if we stop for a minute and listen His heartbeat will guide us each step of the way. I love though that He knows me so well. He knows the days I'm going to want to feel my way through and the days when I just want to stay put. He knows just what makes my heart anxious and what causes worry to creep into my thoughts. He never leaves us on this trust walk. Think about it....If we didn't have something that we needed to turn over to Him, something in our lives that we couldn't figure out, something that made our hearts anxious...would we talk to Him as much as we do? He wants to get us to the point where we give our all to Him, we give Him the day before anything ever happens. Oh how my heart knows I trust Him, but my head has days when I have to remind it (over and over!). Claim His promises for your life and watch the words you speak over your own day. So many times(yep this was an ouch for me too) we speak words over our day that allow the enemy a way in. Instead we should speak a blessing over our day and over the events of the day regardless of what the schedule says. Think of it this way...Speaking a blessing over your day is like putting duct tape on a crack. God can heal a day before it ever begins if we keep our hearts focused on Him. 

God's been peeling back some layers over the last couple of months. If you have never had this happen, it hurts. Ask Him to point out some of those work still in progress areas when it's just you and Him. I wasn't prepared when we had our first talk, but the second time around has been a little easier. God doesn't want us to grow comfortable in this world we live in. Over the years too many Christians have grown comfortable and have become complacent over some things. We have let our focus shift off of what God says and excused or reasoned it away with what the world says is "normal". 

One last thought and this is a question He posed to me last night. If God has planted a dream inside of you....don't let it die! He is growing it day by day and the time is coming when it will bloom for the world to see. Don't let what other people say or how they treat you affect your seed. Protect it with everything you have and know that one day the bloom will be there. It may not make sense now because it is just a seed, but when it blooms...everyone will see in time. Don't rush the process, because God's timing is perfect. It takes patience and season changes, but He makes all things work together. So back to the question He asked last night: "Why are you settling for a caterpillar when I told you, you could be a butterfly." Keep growing and when it's time watch God do what only He can do! 

Stay focused on the journey,

~Melissa