That moment when as drained as you are, God reminds you of something you wrote almost two and half years ago....and it's in reading that you go...okay God you knew all along. If we truly believe His promises of our steps are ordered by the One who knows us the Best...then why do we question things when they start to happen. Why? Because we feel our way through....the mess of it feels messy, the stress feels heavy, and the weight of it all makes you think you are barely keeping your head above water. It feels heavy because we focus on the defeat of it, instead of the victory that is coming. God started this week with a word...and confirmed it with a similar word from a trusted friend later that day. Our focus is what impacts our steps. If we focus on what God is doing we will line our steps up with His, if we focus on what we are feeling we will line our steps up with that. Hear my heart for a minute...life is messy, sticky, and overwhelming a lot of the times. We give out more than we take in and run at such fast paces that we are almost convinced we will one day meet ourselves coming and going in the middle of it all. Somewhere in the middle of the mess that is stressful, in the chaos that we call life....there is peace. Peace that He is lining things up and moving you into place...peace that could only come from Him. Peace that even when you are running on empty, fighting feelings that are not yours to own, needing some serious sleep, and a visit to the chiropractor......He can pour in the way no one else could. I'm starting to see that sometimes God doesn't send us that answer the way we asked because He wants us to trust that He has something so much better. It's in those quiet moments....that God reminds you that He is praying for you and that even David encouraged himself. Sometimes God doesn't send us that help to pull us along, to push us through, or to even pick us up.....because He wants us to see that it's within us already. The power to walk out our calling even on the days when we don't want to get out of bed is already ours. Yes, we need to live life with others and stay connected....but on the day when you just can't get out the words you need to someone else, He knows already. He knows the words you can't say and is already making a way.
My sciatic usually acts up on those days when I need to be reminded of ordered steps and even though it doesn't make sense at the moment...God knows the details and trust is all He's asking from me. This week my sciatic is at a 10+ and yes while it's weather, I haven't taken myself to the chiropractor this week either. I'm the worst at keeping myself on the to-do list, but sometimes doing things for ourselves isn't selfish...it's loving ourselves. The commandment to love your neighbor as you love yourself....is two parts. You can't pour out if you don't stay filled. Love yourself so you can love those God places in your path. Trust Him to speak the words you can't get out and when you feel like just finding a bag of chocolate to just eat....or hanging on to the knot at the end of the rope and are just swinging...God's about to send you the next rope and move you along, so just keep hanging on. As far as the bag of chocolate...everything in moderation it's about restoration this year so make a run to Him first before the chocolate (yeah I'm still working on that one).
When the moments make you feel like you are barely keeping your head above water sweet reader, stay focused on the One walking on the water beside you. He's not going to let you go under as long as you keep your eyes on Him. A friend of mine spoke a word last week that you are being stretched to be strengthened...take the time you need to recharge so that you can keep pouring out as He has called you to do. It's not going to make sense to a lot of people and some may even question it....but the ones who see your heart know why you do what you do....but more than that God knows your heart and wants you to see it as He does. Sometimes we just need to leave the understanding to Him and know that He will tell us what we need to know...as we need to know it.
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