April...

A month ago I placed a sticky note on a cross that simply read April......it was a worry/concern that I was giving to God in a truly God orchestrated God moment. Sometimes God leads us to do something not for the other people that may be participating, but for ourselves.....

I honestly had forgotten about the sticky note until sometime early this morning when I was trying to sleep....I have learned a long time ago with as much as I love sleep....God uses it to remind us He had a plan all along. He knew what He was doing even when we couldn't see Him doing anything. That statement, in a nutshell, would describe my April. God had a plan for the layers that needed to pulled back, the tears that needed to be shed, and the self that needed to be sacrificed in order for God to do what He needed to do during the month of that I had given to Him on a sticky note I had forgotten about.

If you had asked me in the middle of April what God was doing, I would have laughed because I had no clue. I was barely keeping my head above water and some days wasn't doing so great with that. The wall I was about to hit was going to hurt and I knew it...but for the life of me, I couldn't see how to stop from hitting it. God uses walls for a purpose if we let Him....nothing is without purpose if we give it to God. Sometimes though we hit the wall and don't know how to let go of that feeling we have from hitting it. It's only in letting go and saying yes I hit a wall...now what God that we can realize the purpose of the wall.

One thing I've learned during this month is another lesson in God's word for the year of transparency. No one can come swim alongside you and remind you aren't going under if you never say hey I'm about to sink. So many times we try to do so much on our own and just bear up under it that we forget God always will provide us a way out before it overtakes us. Sometimes though that way out means we have to follow obedience and step where and when He says to step. It's in getting real with the people God places in your life for that connection...that you realize you aren't going under. It's in taking the step and opening up that God gives you that place to say hey you aren't going under even if you feel like it.

I can't say I willingly let Him pull back the layers this month, but He did.....and in doing so He started a cleaning out process. Restoration can't happen until the junk leaves first......we have to make room for what God is waiting to give us and to get rid of all of the mess we have tried to fill that spot with. I'm ending April stronger than I started....stronger because the wall that I hit, the wall that the enemy meant for my breakdown was the wall God had planned for my breakthrough. I'm ending April excited about what is to come and knowing that there is truly greater coming in this new season......