It's renewing, restoring....

Somewhere after my time with Him last night, God said to listen to a certain song. I don't argue when it's after midnight or even question at that point....God had already been pouring out, so I wasn't about to rock the moment. I played the song which is one I have listened to on an almost nightly basis and even sang in worship service before when visiting Restoring Hope, but last night God used to it on a whole other level. God always has the word ready His children need, always. He's never late or behind even though our flesh may lead us to believe that. He created us and knows us the best....so the word is always right on time. 

Your Blood is a song by Aaron and Amanda Crabb, the link is below if you have never heard it. There is a line in the song that says it's renewing, restoring, setting us free.....

Things in the natural reflect things in the spiritual...stay with me as I describe the picture God painted last night while I sat there with tears streaming down during this song. Sometimes the wounds of life can leave us gushing out blood. We try to bandage those wounds, but the loss still leaves us feeling weak. Maybe our spiritual iron is even low and over time we continue to just go through the motions lacking any pizzazz cause we just don't feel it. You keep going and doing all that you can, but tired becomes the norm.....His blood is renewing, restoring. Sometimes we need a blood transfusion, a hook up from the One who is always a perfect match. It's then and only then do we start to feel restored over time, renewed with an energy that is fresh, and a strength that comes from the source. Wounds are going to happen, but I'm thankful His blood is renewing, restoring. It's when I slow down and let Him take over that I am reminded He gets what I can't seem to comprehend. He understands the moments that make me have to count to ten and take a deep breath. He knows what makes my heart stay in rhythm. I'm thankful for His promises and even when I make a mess of things and the day is held together with His duct tape, He always pokes through with a peace that reminds me "I'm working on what you can't see". 

My anxiety hasn't been my friend this week. I've learned what makes my heart stay in rhythm and what makes it get out of rhythm. I'm learning that boundaries have to be put in place for those things that don't make my heart beat with His.....and no is a word that needs to be used more. I'm a little too transparent some days and walk a fine line between throwing the wall up or telling you how I feel. I'm thankful for those in my life that pour back in when I tell them exactly where I am at. I'm learning to stay sensitive to others that may be where I am and after tonight's sermon praying for interactions that are divine appointments. I've seen God restore confidence over the last week that I had only dreamed about and I've also seen my insecurity and self-doubt turn up the volume in another area. Isn't that how things usually work? The puzzle comes into view at one spot, but the pieces in the other start being harder to fit into place. There is a surrender to the pieces altogether that has to happen at some point.....after all, it wasn't a puzzle I created in the first place. 

I don't know where you are at walking into this week, but God does. Maybe you are running along and life is great, stay the course and keep smiling. Maybe you are in that point where you are starting to feel the weakness set in and the motions aren't that far away, and you need to slow down for a hook up from the One whose blood is restoring and renewing. Maybe you are in the place I was last week where you were in between what made your heart stay in rhythm and what made it come out of rhythm.....let me tell you what I needed last week...I see you! More than that sweet reader, God sees you and knows exactly where you are at. I know it feels like your feet are having trouble walking, but water walking was never meant to be easy. There were other disciples in the boat when Jesus told Peter to come....sometimes the water walking part of your journey is just between you and Him. Whatever it is you are needing in the moment....ask Him for it. I'm reading The Circle Maker and every chapter I'm reminded that the only prayer that is never answered, is the one that is never asked. Don't lose hope when the answer seems to be a delay.....God's still on His way. 

Unpacking with suitcase

The suitcase was packed full of what had been used from the trip, clothes that had been worn, clothes that hadn't, shoes, jewelry, and even a few souvenirs. It was bulging by the time she rolled it into the house because don't we all know that it never goes back in the suitcase as neat as it did when it came out. It's never an easy fit, but you stuff it all in there just to make the trip to home to unpack it. Suitcase is opened and you start to "deal" with everything on the inside. The clothes that had been worn need to be washed and after the trip the ones that hadn't still need to be washed. The shoes need to be put away, the jewelry hung up, and a place found tor the souvenirs. Then once everything has been dealt with, once everything has a place again..it's time to put that suitcase away. It's time  to put the suitcase away. The suitcase still reminds you of the trip, but once it's in it's place....it's not something you will trip over anymore.

I'm the worst at unpacking in the natural and it's not much better with my own house. I would go on trips in the summer and certain bags would stay packed all summer. How many times do we just get it out of whatever bag it's still packed in when we need instead of taking time to deal with it and put it away. It was never as fun to unpack as it was to pack.

A couple of months ago, God showed me a picture of a suitcase and it was open. I had tried to leave the suitcase at His feet multiple times and all of the junk that it contained. A couple of years ago a friend finally spoke truth that broke through this hard head..I had to deal with some stuff. The leaving the bag at His feet wasn't how freedom was found, because as soon as I needed a feeling or a thought would pop in..I knew exactly where to go to get it. Yes the suitcase may have stayed at His feet, but I would go pull out what I needed for the moment to use. I couldn't understand why it was still so "heavy" when I had left it at His feet. Well hello, I was spending all of my time trying to live in the natural and in the spiritual, but didn't know that's what I was doing. I was picking blooms and not digging up roots. For the suitcase to not be something the enemy could use to entangle me and distract me, I had to deal with what was in the suitcase...every piece whether it had been worn or not, there were things that needed to be restored to their place. Are you following? Today He used an empty suitcase sitting by my closet to finish what He's been trying for two months to get through to me. (I'm slightly stubborn, easily distracted, anxious at times, and tend to walk in discouragement more than I should so it takes a few times for the "word" to poke through the soil so it can take root). Sometimes we go through the process with God to deal with what's in the suitcase so we can let it go...we let go of the contents, but don't take a minute to put away the suitcase, to let that go in His hands. God's ready to turn the page to our next chapter and we are still staring at the period. Hear my heart for a minute....the time to unpack the suitcase is between you and God. Just as in the natural, some people get caught up on laundry and put things away a lot quicker than others. Some people can move houses and not have a box left a week later. Some of us six months later, still have a box or two to put away. It's a process for you and God...no one else can tell you how fast to do it, just keep doing it. One thing at a time is better than just staring at the suitcase. Talking with Him about the suitcase is better than acting like the suitcase doesn't exist.  The suitcase may not always stay away in the spiritual life happens...and just because you get through dealing with the contents of one, doesn't mean it won't be filled again. Just remember God never changes and He's not going anywhere. He's a loving Father willing to help however you will let Him.

I don't know what you have been carrying around. How much more grace and mercy we would probably show each other if we could see the bags and suitcases we are all dragging around? God knows though exactly what's been weighing you down. I'm not going to tell you it's easy....goodness I've been staring at mine for a month because I really didn't want to talk about it. I thought I had dealt with it and I had...I had victory over the feelings, but one punch and the memories came flooding back. One punch and I stood staring at the suitcase for almost a month not sure if I wanted to put it away. God doesn't quit talking just because you don't want to listen. He doesn't stop poking and prodding, knocking until you listen. For that I am thankful...I'm thankful He stepped in last week when I wasn't exactly expecting Him, but then again He knew what I needed. I'm thankful for shifts in the spiritual that reminds of His purpose and plan....we were created to be His hands and Feet simply put. I know what it's like for anxiety to overwhelm you in the flesh, for discouragement to be the thoughts that are on repeat, for the blahs to be a fog around you, for Netflix to be what you would rather watch/listen to than your praise music. (I'm learning just in the last week, energy happens when you feed it from His well, but that's a blog for another day). You may still have a full suitcase....okay open it up and ask God for help to start dealing with what's inside of it. As you do God will remind you of His love, His mercy, His grace...and His incredible plans for your life sweet reader. God knows the suitcase is there, He's waiting on you to get tired of carrying it around. It took me awhile to open up the suitcase...now to put it away, but that's a blog for another day when it's left at His Feet for good.