Wednesday wandering

I guess I've had what you could call writer's block this month as far as blog posts go. I've sat down multiple times over the last few weeks and gotten out a paragraph or two, but nothing that was finished to post. There's been a thought here, a thought there....but nothing that would piece together for a post. It's Spring Break week...and I was sure that there would be multiple posts this week. (Umm ya'll it's Wednesday and not yet...) Hear my heart, God's been faithful and is still talking, but I'm learning sometimes those words are just for me right now and not for behind the screen. 

Sunday I laid down for a nap asking God if I had missed Him with the steps lately (Transparent moment: I'm not a patient person(especially with myself).....God's working to develop that fruit and I've resisted for a long time. I know my steps are ordered by Him and His timetable isn't mine, but there are moments when it takes my head some time to catch up with my heart and to just plain hush). Doubt and insecurity are close cousins, and I've struggled with insecurity longer than I care to admit. (That's a blog for another day). So I woke up from my nap with the story of Peter walking on the water on my heart.....it was all about His focus. He knew who had told him to get out of the boat, but when the feelings of what was going on around him started to overwhelm him, he took his eyes off of where they should have been. Faith is focusing on the One who has called us and is faithful to do it (1 Thess 5:24)....even when we don't feel it.

Monday night I laid awake, trying to sleep, but God was talking...Psalms 46:10 says Be still and know that I'm God. (In other words.....He's got this and is working it all out). Tuesday I pulled out The Circle Maker again and started drawing some circles again. I looked back at the dreams and visions I had written down when I first read the book, the ones that in my mind are all bigger than me, but that means they are the right size for the King of Heaven. You see if my dreams are something I can reach on my own......than I'm not relying on Him. I want to dream crazy dreams that take a crazy faith to accomplish. I've seen what God can do with crazy faith...and even though it scares me (yeah God and I are still working on the control thing..), it's the season God's pouring out. Moments that matter and that make an impact outside of our own hands is what God's calling His children to walk in. It's about knowing the only label is that we are His child and that is enough. (If you know me well enough, you know that's not my strength. I have to stop myself from overanalyzing things and just trust God's ordered my steps before and is doing so now.) I'm a work in progress.....

Today I found my prayer journal from 2004. That year in itself is a blog post, but there were moments written down on those lines of things I had asked of God....with answers on the back. There were moments that took place that year that are a part of my story that only God could orchestrate and write. Looking back over those requests, stirred something up on the inside of me. One of the promises in God's word is that greater things are still to come. If God did what He did then, then why should I doubt the details now? I've seen what God can do and seen Him show up and show out in ways that only He can get the glory from. He's the same today as He was back then and that's enough to make any Jesus girl shout.

If God promised it to you sweet reader, He will bring it to pass. If He's given you the vision for it, write it down and keep circling it. Sometimes we give up just short of the miracle because we are worn and weary. We let the overwhelmed, insecurity, anxious feelings steal our focus. Hear my heart...those moments are going to come. Let's let those feelings though drive us closer to the Healer of the Feelings. Let's let them drive us so close to Him we feel His heartbeat as we lean up against Him. (It's a choice when the feelings hit....and I know it's not easy some days, but it's worth it to press through). I don't know where you are at reading this. Maybe you have been feeling like you have been in the wilderness somewhat, kind of going God I know you are there taking care of things...but I'm ready to see where this is headed. Hang on sweet friend...God has the steps ordered for those dreams and visions He has placed on the inside of you. He doesn't see what others see, or even what you see....and that right there is enough to stir up some peace on the inside. Stay faithful to what He's speaking in and step where He says to step, The Promised Land is closer than you think.