Okay I'm just gonna be honest...God and I have had some serious heart to hearts over the last couple of weeks, a lot just this week. I believe I asked Him more than once if I missed Him somewhere ...cause I was on the verge of burn out. Honestly in some areas of my walk, I was burned out. I was poured out and desperate for Him to pour back in. I tend to give and give and give....and I've learned (the hard way) that if we aren't walking in the OverFlow...giving this much will leave us empty. We've got to be careful to give out of the overflow of what God is pouring in so that we can stay in His flow. Sometimes we have to get desperate for that revelation....It's not something that will even make sense to others if they have never reached that point of desperation. Hear my heart...desperate is not a bad place as long as you let it take you to His lap.
I told God in my time with Him I needed a word. He was faithful to answer with verses and even a vision or two. I knew God was talking, but I was still missing the connection....so I kept pushing through knowing there had to be a shift soon. I've learned in the last couple of years in my journey with Him that when the struggle is like this, there is a lesson, a nugget, a something coming. Why do I know that because God has proven it time and time again? I may have a moment or two where I forget that He has this....but He's good to remind me. (Sometimes it's a reminder in the natural aka my sciatic that flairs up. My sciatic pain is an amazing reminder that God has a plan for my good, that He has a purpose and that what the enemy meant for evil God meant for good. God's promised me healing in that area...and every time the pain comes up in the natural I remind the enemy of that. One day this Jesus girl will be running when the healing comes, but that's a blog for another day. It's part of my testimony that I probably don't share enough. Actually I've got to get better about sharing more about what God's done in my life and just being transparent on here more. We overcome by the power of our testimony and too many times we don't share our testimonies for various reasons (we don't feel like anyone will care, we don't feel like we have one to share, or we don't feel free to share since we are still in the struggle stage). All of those are lies from the enemy to keep you insecure of who God made you to be and who He has called you to be. How do I know...been there done that...and to quote a friend tonight #imoverit
I'm over caring what others think to the point that I keep my mouth shut when God says open it, that I hide in a box or an area that keeps me from being who God has called me to be. I realized about this time last year that there was an anointing given out the day we all walked off the bus. An anointing that was for more than just the ones that had a platform, but for everyone because God had ordered steps and knew who would be where. God doesn't just order steps for one moment in your life as a Child of His and then quit. Too many times we let the opinions of others become louder than the dreams and visions God has place don the inside of us. God didn't say to follow the steps of others (or to be the slinky that gets stuck as my object lesson in Sunday School was this morning). He said to follow the steps He has laid out for you. He knows how far apart they are and how far you can stretch to meet them. He knows there are going to be days when you feel like you aren't making a difference, but He knows that if you will just hang on, He's going to remind you He has you right where He needs you. Let's get real...sometimes we have to encourage ourselves...in other words we have to do those things that we know are going to pour into our tanks. That song that always gets right to the heart of you..that church that always speaks into your life...we have to take time to pour into our tanks and we have to be intentional about it...period. God will put in our lives the people we need to intercede, to pull us along, to encourage us, to keep us focused on who He has made us to be....those are the people that need to speak in your life. When you know you have a calling, an anointing...pay attention to the words you take to heart...for words in the heart grow into roots that will bloom at some point. Blooms of insecurity or security, blooms of confidence in Him or of lack/discouragement, blooms of trust or blooms of doubt (see where I'm headed...).
You may be reading this going where in the world is this coming from...it's coming from a heart that has been desperate for a shift all weekend. A heart that needed God to make some connections together so she could let some things go (again). A heart that needed her Heavenly Daddy...just to remind her I'm listening. What you read on the blogs are more than I share in person (especially in Alabama), I'm still working on that comfort zone.....I have ones I know who will pray and who will love me regardless of what I pour out to them(and believe me they have heard it all). Sometimes we keep asking God for something He's given us....it may not be in the form we asked Him, but it's what we need. I'm thankful for friends who are like family who pray with every text and every message...and who speak life back into me when I can't speak it for myself at the moment. I'm not always going to be down at the altar (kind of hard when you are the words media person), but that doesn't mean I'm not praying and interceding as I click. I digress... my point in all of that was my heart wanted to make it to the altar today (that will surprise some of you reading this...). I carried out of church what I carried in.....and God knew and I knew it was starting to get heavy. So I put on Restoring Hope tonight.....listen when God uses a sermon preached by a man of God who is also a friend that speaks to so much...you know it's a God word and on time at that. When He uses the verse that God has given you for your life verse (and that you used as your Sunday School lesson in the morning), you know God heard you...more than that when the vision that God gave you of where you were at two weeks ago...that hasn't made sense is a visual he uses....you have a shouting fit as you cry your way through to a release, a shift because God knew what you needed and when.
Look out devil...this Jesus girl is armed and ready. The battle has already been won...#imoverit
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