My heart.....

On to the blog I wanted to write earlier and it just wouldn't come....the words are ready to flow now.

A smile on the face or a "it's fine" does not always mean that everything is. We tend to get so busy that we neglect to slow down and really listen to what people have to say. We see a smile on their face or look at them as they must be fine their status said so and move on with our day. When those may be the ones who are secretly crying out for just an ear to listen. They are ones that know in their heart God's walking with them, but oh how they wish their head would be quiet. They shed tears in the car, in the shower, or in bed at night because they hold it in when others are around. Tears are not a sign of weakness, in fact tears are sign of movement. Tears mean something is either breaking or being put back together. Tears mean growth. Holding them in and ignoring that you have those feelings leads to a cold heart, a lukewarm spirit, and an attitude that just wants to give up. Now let's get real for a few minutes. I'm thankful for friends who see past the smile. Friends who just know when something is up even though they may be a state away. I'm thankful for friends who listen and remind you of His promises. The last year and half have been a struggle, more so the last five months. Busyness has crowded out quiet and I've plastered the smile to just keep trying to convince myself I didn't feel like I was drowning. Life is tough and you can only walk on water when you maintain a focus on Him. Take it off for a second and you will go under and "feel" like you are drowning. Best news is....put your focus back on Him and start walking on top of the water again.
I got my focus off of for a couple of hours today and to say I started drowning would be an understatement. The best thing that happened was my visit to the chiropractor. It forced me for a few minutes to get quiet and focus(what else can you do on a traction table) and to say God started speaking life back into me would be an understatement.  God breathed peace that I still don't understand, but thankful I am.

God has revealed more than I could blog about in the last 72 hours. He's reminded me of the call on my life. He's reminded me of who I am in Him despite what others say or think. He's reminded me grace is a daily thing and new each day, use what He's provided for today, there will be more tomorrow. He's revealed promise after promise. He's reminded me of who He is in me. God's been turning the heat up with a fire that only He could light. The enemy wanted me to see myself through the eyes of others(as just a "special education teacher", as just a "single female"....yep those have been words used in the last week even), but God broke through. Precious friends spoke life back into me Sunday night and reminded me that I was an anointed child of the Most High and that He was my covering. Confident in myself...no, but confident in what He can do...more than ever. He's the same God that has walked me through the two darkest days of my life and not only walked me through them, but took them in His hands and worked them for my good. He's the same God who has spoken words for me to share over the years that to say they were on timing would be an understatement. He's not just up to something, He's doing a new thing. A confident thing where I walk forward letting the stress go and remembering that it can not defeat me. Thankful the enemy sees me as a threat...one day he'll back off and learn. Until then my God is greater and the plans that are still are in store are for my good and the best is still to come!

Regardless of what the world(or well meaning people) have told you....if you are a Christian and have a relationship with the Most High....He knows your name. He not only knows your name, but He knows your voice. He knows when you are asking for something from the heart or when you are asking from your feelings. He knows when you are hurting and He knows when you are hiding. Defeat is not from God and He doesn't give up. He will tell you when it's time to move on, but until then press on knowing that He will grow the seeds you are planting in His time. God has a story written just for you and only He knows the end.  You are precious and He loves you more than you could ever know.

Confident on the journey,
~Melissa