My heart for a moment...

God I wish I knew what you were up to right now. So many things seem to be falling into place, yet at the same time so many pieces I thought were in place don't look like they fit anymore. How did you get to that part of my heart I thought I had hidden? You found what I thought I had figured it out and turned it around to show me what You had planned. I gave you my heart so many years ago and slowly I'm getting it back. You had forgotten those things that I had tried to forget. Those dreams that only You know about, those dreams that I had only told You about it. You alone have always known what my heart was meant to do and where my heart was meant to be.

Seasons are a strange thing. Just as it seems like Summer may always be here, Fall also may poke around this week. It's getting harder to know when one season starts and another ends. The change starts slowly, but then becomes more noticeable in the outward signs(trees changing etc.). Seasons in our lives are like that as well. Just as we can tell Fall is in the air this week, it is easy to know when a new season is coming in our life as well. The hardest part is knowing the timing of when the season is here to stay.

I've poured out my heart to Him so much lately and thankfully He has never grown tired of it. I feel like I've asked Him for the moon and the stars. I've asked Him for some specific answers, some whispers I knew only He could give, and for some things only my heart knew to ask for I've asked. The sweetest prayers lately are the ones where only God knows what the words are and only He knows what I've said.

I don't fit in a box period. I've always tried to stay in one because well I thought I had to, but over the last few years God has shown me the box is not me. I've got dreams and desires still deep in my heart that I've already asked God to take away if they are not a part of His plan......so far they are still there. He has taken some away, but there are a few that are still there and they make me smile because I know that one day He will bring them to pass.

Honesty moment....God gets the pity parties, He really does. It's what we do with those moments that can make or break us. Do we take those moments to Him or to the computer? Do we seek advice in His word or from the TV? Do we find a friend to vent to or one to pray with us? God gets our feelings, but He doesn't want our feelings to get us. We control them through His power. Perspective is key in the world today. God's moving and doing things that we can't see with our natural eyes. Take a minute and let Him show you through His for a minute. That precious time will speak peace to your feelings I promise....

The closer you are to walking in His will, the more the enemy seeks to devour you. The enemy can't touch you, but he can throw doubt and discouragement your way. It's up to you if you catch it or let it fall to the side. We take way too much of what the enemy throws at us. The biggest truth that has slowly gotten into my Spirit over the last month or so as I have waded through some doubt, some discouragement, and some anxiety....is that God knew it. God knew that these moments would have to come for me to see how strong I could be with Him. He knew what I lacked and needed to go through in order to walk through the calling He has placed on my life. He knew I had to get to the place where I will one day look in the mirror and not criticize what I see, but see the Princess He made me. Just being real for a minute....I am my worst critic and I've worked over time over the last sixteen months on myself. I'm tired of it. I asked God about a month ago for a new fire, a new fresh wind...He has been faithful.  The box is not from God sweet reader. (That's for someone more than just me). We all have struggles, sometimes we share them, sometimes we bear them privately. I'm not perfect...just thankful that all of the bumps and bruises have had a purpose. In the end, my heart's desire is for what I've spent all of me(my time, my life, my being) to count for Him.

Have a blessed week!
~Melissa

Will try to post some Bible study thoughts later this week....unbelievable moments with Him in my study time.

Are you mad enough yet?

I almost didn't type this blog. I almost let it stay just a journal entry between God and me....almost. I took the chance that maybe someone else will need the conversation God and I had earlier. This weekend has been one for me to just be still and listen, and He has talked and turned me around. He spoke peace and I will forever be grateful. Sometimes we get to the point where we keep asking God to fix this or that, when He wants us to just be patient and ride it out. Me I just needed Him to remind me this weekend that He had this and we were going through it together. He answered.  God and I have had some interesting conversations over the last couple of weeks, matter of fact if you look at some journal entries over the last couple of months. The last couple of weeks for sure have weighed on my heart. It's been a battle and I know that for a fact. God's been talking and the enemy has been fighting. I guess I should be flattered that he finds me a threat, but he needs to move on and realize he loses every time. God's got this and hasn't let me down yet. In fact, every time I've asked Him for a whisper over these past couple of weeks He has answered with that and oh so much more.

So you may be sitting there looking at the title going where is she going with this one, but that was the question that was posed to me earlier today when God and I were discussing some things. I've let things get to me over the last couple of weeks. I set out to do things one way and wouldn't you know the way I didn't want to do it was right there as well. (That's a blog for another day). I set out focused on where I wanted to be, but I got busy. That's typically how it starts. We get out of the boat because He says let's walk, we start off looking at Him headed on this journey and then EVERYTHING around us starts demanding our attention and we start to sink. I've sank over the past couple of weeks, just being honest. I've learned how fast stress can mess you up and what it can do to you physically. Please hear me when I say it's been a battle over the past couple of weeks, we can know in our hearts what we should be doing, but at the same time struggle with doing it. We can know we should be focused on what He has called us to do, but at the same time busyness takes its toll. We can feel like we are barely keeping our heads above water with everything that needs to be done. I've been there lately, but I'm back on top of the water now. Is the to-do list finished? Why no....but my focus is adjusted and I'm more determined than ever to stay the course.

So are you mad enough yet? Are you mad enough to get determined to take back what the enemy has taken from you(or tried to take)? Stress, Busyness, and Chaos(aka disorganization) are not from God. Think back over the last couple of years....what have those things taken from your life, your health, your finances, your time? Are you mad enough to make up your mind that you want it back? God is the restorer of things. He makes all things new and will even pay back what the enemy has taken from us. Are you mad enough yet? Are you mad enough to change your choices, to draw the line in the sand and to get serious about what He has called you to do? Are you mad enough to do it His way or do you want to keep doing it yours? God has been fighting the battles all along, but are you mad enough to fight with Him? So many times we ask Him to do what He does best, but we aren't willing(or committed enough) to do our part. The times are changing and now more than ever it is time for Christians to get off of the fence. It's time to get mad enough and put the enemy in his place. I love how Joyce Meyer talks about wanting to have power over the enemy when we have a sink full of dirty dishes. Stress is not from God. He never gives us more than we can handle for each day. Think back to the manna and the children of Israel. When we try to do more than what is planned for each day, we end up with a spoiled mess. We have grace to handle today, not tomorrow, or next week. I'm determined and am starting this month with a renewed sense of purpose knowing that the One inside me is greater than anything I am going to face.

I may go into more detail in another blog, but for now hopefully this makes sense. Until we get mad enough to change, we will keep going around the same mountain. As Christians we are joint heirs with Him....that means everything He has, we can have. It's up to us if we walk in that truth or settle for what the enemy dishes out in the form of stress, busyness, and a sense of chaos. When you finally get to the point where you are mad enough to change, get ready because God will hold you to it and He will give you a plan(at least He did for me). The seeds being planted in this season will reap a harvest only He can reap!

Enjoy the journey,
~Melissa

So you are making the enemy mad?

Good! This blog has been in the works for a week, but I honestly don't know if would have been complete had today not been like it was. I've learned over the years there is a difference between bad day and stressful day. Bad lasts longer than stressed, stressed days need exercise, chocolate, and quiet moments with God to just let Him love you. Yep a stressed day and a bad day are two different things. A stressed day can become a bad day if you let it. For me this day was a stressed day, I just needed the complaints to stop and a minute for things to go like I needed them to. God knew today would be like it was, He knew when I got up and I had a song on my mind and a prayer on my heart. He knew I would need to start the day full, because it would drain out quickly. I wish I could tell you I went through today with a smile on my face and a Pollyanna outlook. If you know me, you know my face tells a lot. In other words, I can't fake the Pollyanna outlook if I'm not feeling it. God will get me there, but for now I am who I am and you more than likely can read it on my face. A work in progress, that's me, but I am enjoying the journey. So for those in my path today, I'm sorry. My helper button has worn off and I just can't fix it all. Sometimes we just need someone to listen, to say thank you, and to realize we are doing our best. Moving on.......


I am quicker at realizing the enemy's schemes throughout the day and stressed is one of them. God has broken me from trying to please everyone, but at the same time it makes the enemy mad and he tries to do what he can to put that chain back on me. Hence the struggle sometimes between flesh(trying to keep everyone happy) to the the Spirit(doing the best you can with all that He has given you). God knows my heart, but sometimes that doesn't always come out. Some people will never be happy regardless of what you do (or don't do). The enemy knows what you are struggling with, expect that battle and prepare for it. When you start to feel overwhelmed, get still. God will love on you and remind you whose battle it really is. He can't fight if we are still trying to fight it as well. Take heart if it feels like(or you know) that the enemy is mad at you. It means you are on the journey to what God has called you to do. The enemy wants to keep you wandering not focused, take heart in the focused moments God's got this! The enemy's desire is to keep you so busy that you never slow down long enough for God to show you what He has called you to do and what your gifts are. Find them and better yet start using them or working toward that and rest assured the enemy will head after you. Some days it just has to make me smile and thankful he considers me a threat.

Stressed day, don't let it turn into a bad day. You can't fix it all, but you can talk to the One who can about it. You can't do it all, but you can do the best you can with it. Wearing yourself out will never finish the list, so take time for you. Discouraged, find someone to encourage. You make a difference even when you think you aren't. Most of all, don't be so hard on yourself. You are not a failure, you are a royal heir, child of the King. Do what you do and be who He made you to be. Trust Him enough that everyone won't like you, and that's okay...they didn't like Jesus either. Sometimes I think we forget how much He was talked about, taken advantage of, yet He knew how to keep the main thing the main thing. Wow...what a lead to follow. So thankful He knows what to do and gets it.

Enjoy your journey!
~Melissa

God take the pieces....

It is a precious indescribable moment when God shows you a glimpse of some of the pieces fitting together. Somehow He knows just the right moments to peel back the layers and say take a peek. He knows if He can show us just a tiny glimpse of the picture version of what's in our hearts that we can keep pressing forward. I've learned there is a part of me buried so deep that only He gets. There is a part that only He knows is there because even I am not sure how the part will be played out just yet, but He does. We all have one. Think to yourself for a minute. What's that thing you would do if you could? I mean if there were no rules, no requirements, no parts from others to play, just you doing what you know He called you to do. I bet just thinking about it brings a smile to your face, I know it does mine. As much as I have moments where I know I am in my sweet spot, something inside of me tells me there is still another season to come. For now though, my focus is on keeping balance. Life can so quickly get out of a balance that it is scary. We can go through the course of a day and not even realize how much we through things out of balance by what we said, worried about, or became frustrated over. When we finally get still, we realize how much of our time has been spent being busy or maybe even some things we could consider "good". My heart doesn't want to miss any more God assignments. I've already asked Him for forgiveness because I can look back over the last six months and see a few I missed ;(. When God whispers, sometimes it is for that given moment or season. He knows what needs to happen to meet the need at hand and if we don't listen, He'll find someone that does. Time is a precious gift from Him that we can invest in others. Time is a gift that can be eternal because only He knows what investing that time will mean to someone else. Word of caution....if the enemy can't make your schedule busy, he'll try to make your mind busy worrying about your to-do list. Put the enemy in his place and remind him who you have placed in charge of your day(and your to-do list).


God take the pieces and fit them together as You have planned for them to. The best is yet to come as I focus on Your assignments and not on mine.

Just sharing my heart...

Alright this is looking to be one of those my heart with some meat squeezed in posts. God actually started writing late last night, early this morning. So much has been on my mind lately. I'm thankful He gets it. God understands where we are and He gets our feelings. I've felt worn all day today. I've been tired, overwhelmed, and if you ask my body it would probably say stressed. I love how we try to say oh I'm not stressed, but if we would ask our bodies they would SCREAM out something different. I've known it for the last few weeks that the balance of my life was slowly becoming lopsided. So I dug my heels in the sand this weekend and said God I needed a word. He knew I did, but what I got was a whisper of I've got this.  Well duh....my heart knew He had it, but my feelings and head were having trouble catching up. I knew the balance wasn't there and honestly I knew the buttons that had made the scale start to tip, but the real question was how to back track? It's HARD. It's hard when you recognize the scale is tipped and you need to readjust, to readjust. It's hard to know just how to go about putting the scale of life back in balance, God tells us what to do, but the actions to words require even more. Can I get real for a minute? Have I said yes more than I should lately? YES....Have all the yes's lined up with God's assignments? No....I can look back and see where the shift happened. I can see where the line should have been drawn and I kept on. Now I'm trying to put it in reverse and get some balance back. I don't like how the last two weeks have gone. Pretty sure God doesn't either....So tomorrow starts the putting it back in perspective and that will probably involve the word no.  In case you haven't encountered the enemy this way yet, he's sneaky. The enemy knows just what our flesh needs, and he will do everything he can to feed it.

If you haven't seen the news lately, watch it. The situations in Iraq and with Israel are heart breaking. It's time to break the fence down that some Christians have been walking on and get serious about what God has called us to do. It's time to get serious about sharing God period. I'm not a gloom and doom end of the world is coming, but folks it is. The signs are around us and there is a sense of eternal urgency in the air. We need to get busy about things that will matter in eternity and let some of this non-essential stuff fall to the waste side. (Hello Melissa...that means computers, printers, and phones..long story, but God just stepped on my toes as I typed). Is what you are doing now, what you would be happy doing if He were to come back this very minute? If you ask yourself that question and let it sink in, it will change you. There are Christians having to not only speak about their faith, they are dying for it. Let's at least act on the faith we talk about here in America. Get off the fence and either be hot or cold period.

This whole Robin Williams thing has touched a lot of people and left many in shock. Let's let it change us in a good way. Love people where they are. Pray for God to do only what He can in their lives. Listen to people. So many times people just want to be heard, be that ear for someone today.

I'm not perfect. There is a lot of this journey I'm still trying to pass without a re-test, but I'm making progress. I know who I am in Him. I know what He has called me to do and not to do. My heart's desire is to please Him. There is a fine line between the disease to please and the call to love. If you look at the fruit of the last two weeks, I'm not sure what you would see. Revelation from God this afternoon was precious. The more determined we are to do what He wants us to do, the more the enemy is determined to keep us doing anything but that. Your this and your that are your this and your that, because you were never meant to carry them on your own. I'm convinced the more complex my this and that get, the more I know it's more of a God thing than it could ever be a Melissa thing. The lesson isn't learned until the application has taken root. God let it take root. Thank you for knowing my heart and for whispering as you do. God's timing is perfect and His methods are supreme. There is a stirring in my Spirit and a peace knowing the battle isn't mine. I would love to tell you if you see me tomorrow you won't see my overwhelmed face, but I don't know. I've asked God for one of those moves as only He can, but this child of His has to remember the plan may not always make sense to the student, but the teacher always know the purpose and the intent.

Until next time,
~Melissa

You're getting closer....

First week of school and the lessons I have learned can't fit on the pages of a blog or a book. The truths that are starting to take root while they have been felt are not ready for a status or a blog, those will come in time. One thing I do know...the closer you get to that sweet spot, that spot where God has planned for you to be, the spot where calling meets purpose and calling becomes life, that is when the enemy starts to get antsy. I've seen it more than ever this week as I look back on some of the various events. A child of God who is walking, talking, and moving in what he/she was created for makes the enemy a nervous wreck. The closer you get to that sweet spot, the more the enemy wants to send something to throw you off course. For me, he throws doubt, discouragement, and my mouth in my way. God's been teaching...you can only doubt yourself if you quit listening to what God says about you. Doubting yourself, a child of God, means doubting God. Hmm...let that sink in. Discouragement can only take root if you listen to what others say about you and continue to push play instead of delete. God only called you to be you. He knows you are not perfect and He knows you will mess up, but He also knows what you can do when you let Him take over. Then there is my mouth....(and all of my elementary teachers smile...) my mouth has gotten me in trouble for years. I have learned (FINALLY)....be quiet and just be you. When I was younger it was because I talked too much, now it is because I talk trying to please. God knows we are not going to fit in with everyone or be in every group, guess what....He's okay with that. God has placed people in our lives that love us for who we are, messes and all. It's time we start being thankful for that, spending time with those, and moving on from the rest. Why it has taken over 30 years for that to finally take root, I will never know, but God and I have talked about a few reasons. Let why you do what you do be to please Him, not others.

I've asked Him some pretty specific questions this week. I've asked Him to move, shake, and remake some areas. I know that means pain, but I also know that's the only way for growth. I'm still waiting on my specific answers, and I know they will come in time. For now, I have to be content with the answer I have gotten...you're getting closer. Closer to that sweet spot where calling meets life and where purpose meets breathe. Closer to where pleasing Him is the focus and pleasing others is not even in view.  Being busy is from the enemy, being productive is a gift from God. Take heart though today in knowing that the enemy would leave you alone if he wasn't so scared of you. God's moving, get ready! Time is precious, be about His business and let Him allow the rest to follow into place. Serve people, Love them where they are, and know that He takes care of the details. One last thing....make sure if you are always the one giving that you take time to pour back into you. Feeling worn and stretched is not a good feeling. I know I've been there this week. The rubber band will pop if you stretch it too thin, and the only person left hurt is the one holding the rubber band...aka you. God knows your limits better than you know your limits. Listen when He says stop...rest when He says rest. If you don't take care of you, the enemy wins because you can't get closer to the sweet spot of purpose that God has planned for your life.

Until next time,
~Melissa

So you tell that mountain....

God knows our hearts....we've heard this truth for years, but have we ever stopped and thought about what it means. God knows our hearts, He knows us. God knows when we are struggling with something, when something is bothering us, when something has upset us. He knows us. God knows when that smile on our face is there because we know it should be, even though we are trying not to cry. God knows when we push on through things even though we don't "feel" like it. He knows us. He knows us and He sees when we are trying to push through our feelings and knowing that eventually they will catch up with that smile. He gets that, but at the same time He knows us. He knows that if we don't truly deal with that feeling in God and me time....it will resurface. Some feelings are meant to just turn over to Him. He can only change/fix/heal when we release "it" from our grips. So we are upset, He gets that. The choice though comes when are we going to ignore that we are upset or deal with it? Dealing with it means moving on without that same "it" resurfacing. Break the chain of stuffing it, and turn it into throwing it on the One who can take that feeling, dry those tears you keep holding back, and use it to make you an even better YOU!.

Looking back on this week, what I've learned now that I've taken a minute to reflect on it, I could write in a book.  The book will have to wait. I'm sure the lessons as they deepen will turn into blogs at some point. I've always said my mess will never be wasted, if He can make it into a message. The enemy gets threatened and scared the closer we get to God and the closer we get to seeing the calling He has placed on our lives. The enemy would much rather us stay in a people pleasing, climbing the ladder to success mode than to find out love is stronger than people pleasing. Actions out of love lay a foundation for growth and are the blue print for a plan that only God could design. With the way the last couple of weeks have gone, I must be getting closer to discovering that sweet spot again that God designed just for me. God knows our hearts. For the past two mornings, I've woke up with the same song on my mind. That's not a conciedence, that's God. It's not even on my iPod. God knows our hearts. He knows what we are trying to deal with on our own, yet will never go away without His help. So I'll close this blog with that song....Here are the words that have been playing in my mind and Spirit. "So when you feel defeated know that God keeps His promises. So you tell that mountain, just how big Your God is!." In the quiet of this morning, God put the pieces together and left me with peace. Not Melissa trying to make peace happen, but God making it happen. Don't ever think He doesn't get or understand what you are going through. He does. He knows when are you trying to press through it. Let Him be your strength and watch how much you can lift.

Keep focused on the journey,
~Melissa