Wowie...apparently when you start this decent down the mountain, look out. The enemy is after you(of course if he wasn't scared of what you could do, he wouldn't care so much about what you do, do). I have learned that today in so many ways. Today has been a day. It's been hard to maintain focus and peace. To make matters worse, physically my head is about to explode, and mentally it has felt that way as well. It's life at times, I know that, but I did have a small meltdown this morning. The balance got messed up and the to-do list started to tip the WRONG way. I wanted to crawl in my turtle shell until I calmed down inside, but that's not how life goes. So life goes on, and for those who may have gotten the wrong end of me today, I apologize. My life is crazy times two right now and I'm doing the best I can.
Okay so blog to come soon is from a conversation God and I have been having. It was on trust. It went something like: Me: God I trust you, God: I know you do, now trust yourself.
Sometimes I feel like God has the light shinning on the next step, but I don't trust myself to step into it. We doubt ourselves so much, that we hinder some of the good things God has waiting. Trust yourself to do what He's told you to do, and then do it. The first step is the hardest, but it will get easier with time.
We all just want to know that what we spend our lives doing is making a difference some how. We want to know that our day hasn't been wasted. Here's a thought(and one I'm still chewing on for awhile), seeds grow in different seasons and at different rates. You may not be able to see the difference you are making, but if you are doing what God's told you to...then BELIEVE that you are. It's not easy, because we are our own worst critics, but guess what tell yourself you are making a difference and that God appreciates what you are doing and the heart you do it with(because He does). We pray and ask God to send us encouragement some days, but sometimes that is meant to come within.
God knows when your tired is tired, and He promises rest. Remember though, rest may come physically, mentally, or spiritually. That's a blog still to come because it's still being written.
I've seen what peace looks like and I REFUSE to go backwards. It's a fight some days to stay put and keep walking in it.
IEP's are waiting so I'll have to wrap this up....I'm sure there is more to come as they are being written on my heart now. They'll be typed soon. Thanks for reading! Share and follow if you get a chance....
Until next time,
~Melissa
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