The smile

It's break time from work and that means reflection time. It is also the end of a year and the beginning of a new one this week and that also is time for reflection. Last night God started writing this blog. I'll be honest, I didn't see it coming to finish until mid January. I still have two others in draft mode and I thought He would let me finish those first. After my quiet time last night/this morning I knew this one would be written before the others. I've learned a lot in 2015. The learning didn't come easy, several of those lessons were ones I had to retake from previous times. Some were lessons that God had been trying to get me to listen to for a couple of years and I well hadn't. Some of the lessons I didn't realize I needed to learn until it was time to learn them. Now comes the walking out that learning, the application after the knowledge part of this journey. This year I've learned a lot, a lot about The smile. 

We all have one, a smile that is. It comes out when we are happy, excited, surprised, and even just thinking. Sometimes it also comes out when we are just going through the motions. We put the smile on because we would rather hide behind it than deal with someone asking us what's wrong. We put a smile on our face because it's easier to just pretend then be real. We get so comfortable with the superficial and the casual that we forget what's down deep, on the inside. The roots that lead to the blooms that are going to show in season or not. God knows what the roots are and He's calling for us to deal with the ones that He didn't plant. That dear readers is hard to do when you are behind the smile. It's hard to pull up the roots of bitterness, anxiety, fear, insecurity, doubt etc. when we are not ready to get real with the cause of those feelings. That getting real moment requires moving past comfortable and stopping the motion train. It means getting still, probably not smiling, and getting honest with yourself and God first. Sometimes it requires getting honest with others, but the first person is ourselves. The tears come when the layers are peeled back, but just like taking a band-aid off...healing happens when you allow air to reach the wound. It hurts and there may be a scar at that spot, but healing comes in time. Our smiles are a security measure because deep down we aren't feeling it. Let's face it...the smile on our face can be a wall to say I'm good, move on to someone else. 

So I've learned a smile isn't always an indication that everything is good or fine. A smile may be a security measure for someone. That's where prayer and discernment come into play. In this world we live in we can't rely on feelings and flesh alone, we have to rely on the power of the One on the inside of us. Take time to really listen to what the person behind the smile is saying. It may be in words or in actions. Listen to what that still small voice on the inside is saying to you and act on it. God doesn't give you wisdom and discernment for you to keep it to yourself. Put it into practice and love people the way you would want someone to you. Pray for the people God has put in your life, on your journey, and those that He brings to mind. Sometimes people don't want you to fix something, they just need to know that you are praying for them. Stop and do it in person if God leads you to or type it out in a text to them. So many times we hide behind the "I'm praying for you" line and yet we don't always follow through. (That's extra...God dealt with me earlier this year on that one and was patient enough for me to change). 

We don't have a mess without a message or a test without a testimony. That's sometimes an overused statement, but it's true. God's word says that He works all things for our good. In His hands, it all makes sense to Him. He can take the things that make us frustrated and use it for our purpose. He can take the thing we have just walked through and give us eyes to see it in others. God will use your moments to pour into others if you are willing to share them. To do that we have to get real, open, and honest with others on the good, bad, and ugly. That doesn't mean posting it all over Facebook or other social media accounts, but it also means not hiding behind a smile while escaping into a turtle shell wishing you could just scream. There is a balance to this authentic journey and it starts with loving who He made you to be regardless of feelings, opinions, and weak spots. God's not surprised and knew what He was doing when He wanted a relationship with you on the cross. Yep you read that right..He knew how you would feel about you when He died on the cross and He still did it. Now that love is something to smile about always. 

You may be reading this today going, but you don't know what I'm dealing with. No sweet reader, I don't ...but God does. I know that for too long I hid behind the smile. I had a certain group that I was willing to get real with and experienced freedom there, but that meant the enemy kept me bound the rest of the time. Freedom is being real and honest with yourself and others in any setting. God wants us to walk in the freedom He died for and is ours to receive with our relationship with Him. He wants that for us in every part of our lives, even the ones we would rather just smile through. Trust that He has His children safe under His wings of protection. 

God, You know the hearts of the Ones reading today. Shake the chains that need breaking so that they can walk in freedom. For the ones hiding behind the wall of a smile, put them on someone's heart today that they can be real with and who will pray them through in Jesus name. God meet them where they are at. The band-aids are off for some and healing has started, blow on the wounds as you heal. For others the fear of taking the band-aid off has kept them going around the mountain and safe behind the smile, give them a glimpse for a minute Jesus to what their Promised Land looks like and the freedom You died for them to have, Thank you for what you are going to do and are already doing in Jesus name. 

Tuesday Truths vol. 11

2 Timothy 3:5
having a form of godliness but denying its power. Have nothing to do with such people. 

I've heard and read this verse many, many, many times before...but this time reading it in my quiet time was eye opening to say the least. The context of the verse is talking about how people will behave in the last days. Now read this verse again....having a form of godliness, but denying it's power. I had to ask for forgiveness after this revelation, but how many times do we get caught up in the same thing. How many times do we go along in this relationship with God and yet forget about the power that is on the inside of us? We talk the talk and may even walk the walk as long as it's an easy walk. It's when the walk starts to get bumpy, the waves start rocking, that we start to get nervous, we start to wonder and may even doubt. I've been there more times than I care to admit. It's easy to get caught up in a feeling moment that you forget that the power on the inside of you can handle ANYTHING that comes your way. Let that sink in for a minute....As joint heirs with the Jesus, we have what He has. That same power that on the third day folded up the grave clothes and walked out of the grave (without moving the stone) is the same power living on the inside of a Child of God. The same power that spoke to Lazarus and said come forth, is the same power living on the inside of you. The same power that took the five loaves and two fish and fed 5000 plus people is the same power living on the inside of you Child of God. Yes you will have feeling moments, but tell them to hush and let the power on the inside of you rise up. Back to the verse...there are so many churches today that have a set schedule for service, they sing one song, have a prayer and announcements, sing two songs, take up the offering, special music, sermon, invitation, and closing prayer. Like clock work each week it's a tight run schedule and going over time is not an option. God doesn't work on a schedule, think back to the Lazarus story...He wasn't on Mary and Martha's schedule (or else He would have came when they wanted Him to), but He was on His schedule...and look at what happened. God isn't in box, He's inside of you, His child.....The church isn't an organization or a building, it's a group of redeemed, forgiven, Children of the Most High. 2016 is set to be an incredible year. God is pouring out His Spirit like never before and lives are being changed. If you are blood covered Child of the King, tap into that power that is on the inside of you. God's looking to pour into you so He can flow through you. The power is yours, the victory has already been declared...walk in it! 

What's your Goliath?

I have looked at the story of David and Goliath in a variety of ways over the years. I've learned over the last four months of in depth study time with Him and just listening, God will take a story that you say you know very well and open your eyes to yet another truth found in that story. He'll show it to you in another way that meets your exact need at the moment. He's an on time God and His word is always truth.

The story of David and Goliath is in 1 Samuel 17. If you haven't read it lately, go do it. It's a story that speaks to a variety of seasons and stops along the journey. David was a shepherd boy who knew who he was in God. He knew who had anointed him and called him for a purpose. He knew all of that when He went in to fight Goliath. Verse 39 describes David trying on Saul's armor in preparation for the battle. He told the people he just couldn't do go in those because he wasn't used to them.

Now think about the question in the title. What's your Goliath? It could look like several different things (after all Goliath was a huge giant). It could be anxiety (that was mine this past year), fear, insecurity etc. Are you trying to fight the Goliath with someone else's armor or with the stone God said to pick up? Someone else's armor could be advice from well meaning people telling you how they passed the test etc. or how they left it in God's hands at the altar. God knows your Goliath and if you ask Him, He'll reveal it to you if you don't know already. David could have never fought Goliath with the way Saul wanted him to dress and fight. David knew who had called him to fight and that was all he needed to defeat Goliath (that and a sling and a stone). As you look back on 2015 is your Goliath still taunting you or have you fought him in Jesus name? The same power, the same confidence, the same security that David had when he gathered five stones and took his sling to go against Goliath is the same that you can have against yours.

1 Samuel 17:45 David said to the Philistine, "You come against me with sword and spear and javelin, but I come against you in the name of the LORD Almighty, the God of the armies of Israel, whom you have defied.

God you know the hearts of the ones reading the blog today. You know the Goliaths they are facing even if they don't already know them. In Jesus name, give them the strength and confidence to walk boldly into this new year with a stone in their hand knowing that they can come against that fear, that insecurity, that anxiety in your name and their Goliath is going down with a thud. David wasn't confident that he could do it, but he was confident that You would do it through Him. Our Goliaths can't come down in our strength, but God we are trusting in you to defeat giants as we close out 2015 and walk forward into 2016. In Jesus name...

When it's all said and done...

I heard a story this week of a family where the dad (who is battling terminal cancer) pondered if his life had made any difference. He told his wife this one day, so she set out working on a Christmas project. On Christmas she gave him a chest of letters written by friends and family telling him what a difference, an impact he had made on their life. As the story went on, the mom talked about how these letters will live on long after her husband passes as a testament of a legacy passed on to their son.

When it's all said and done.....this story that was told to me this week has stuck with me. It's made me think, made me ponder, and along with a few Hallmark movies...made me take inventory. It's the time of the year where the holidays have passed and we are looking forward to a new year. Personally I like New Years....I love the feeling of a clean slate. Then God reminded me, each new day with Him is like that. His word in Lamentations says that His mercies are new every morning. He looks at the day as a clean slate, so why shouldn't we. We only get one pass at this life, one pass at this gift He gives us called today. Are the things we are pouring ourselves into things that matter? Are we leaving an impact, an imprint on the people we meet every day? It it an imprint that will be forgotten after time or one that will last, maybe even spur them on to making a difference. There are not enough hours in the day to impact this entire world for God....and I honestly think God gets a smile when we set out trying. Thankfully He knows our hearts and knows that if we will just set out to impact our world, the corner of life that He's called us to plant ourselves in for this season...He will take care of the rest. You never know, that child you teach in Sunday School today may be the next missionary God calls to Africa, or they could be the person that grows up to be the one that makes a difference as an encourager and an intercessor for the next great evangelist. God is the only one that knows how the pieces all fit together....His plan always prevails, it will take place whether you hold on to your pieces or let them go in His hands. Do you want to stand before Him one day and have to answer for what you held on to, or do you want to be able to say you ran this race with open hands leaving it all up to the One who was already standing at the finish line? The story of the talents in the Bible comes to mind....invest what God has given you and trust Him for the returns. The enemy wants you to bury what you have, leave it in the box created by the world, and walk through this life with hands closed fisted.

Newsflash, Honesty check, heart to heart moment...whatever you want to call it. You aren't going to feel like you can make a difference each and every day. There are going to be days when the enemy attacks your confidence and your security buttons (Hello...if the liar can make you think you can't do anything..you won't. That's a fact and I'm sure if you think for a minute you have your own story you can insert here). God didn't say feel your way through the day, He said to trust Him. God didn't say you wouldn't feel insecure or lack confidence. If you are waiting to only do things for God when you feel confident, well....you are going to be waiting awhile. God didn't said be confident in yourself, He said be confident in this...that He who begun a good work in you will carry it on to completion. That's a truth to hold on to when the enemy needs a good stomping. I've got another blog in the works for Tuesday on Goliath...sometimes we need to quit trying to fight our Goliath with others armor on and take up our sling and stone and fight with the One who called us to the battle. More on that later...

The enemy's been on an attack for the last couple of months, but he knows his time is drawing near. Some of the attacks I've seen coming and some have hit me in the gut...some God took the hit on and some He needed me to walk through. If we never face a battle, we will never know that we have the victory. The victory isn't in how fast we make it through, but in making it through. There are moments meant to sleep in the boat and let Him calm the storms. Then there are moments where God says...come on out on the water. God made the comfort zone for a season, stay in it too long and you get to be seasick from the rocky waves. The same hand that helped us out of the boat on to the water is the same hand holding us as we walk on the water. He doesn't say out of the boat and on your own....it's a journey, a race He longs to run with His children.

You may be thinking oh but you don't know how I feel about this or that. No I don't, but I know how I've felt at times. I know the insecurity that has been louder than it should have over the last couple of months. See the enemy gets scared when we get out of the boat...because that's when we start to walk out our calling, our anointing that has been there all along. So he lets the waves get a little rocky..sometimes they may make us feel unsteady and wondering why we ever left the boat....but God in His perfect wisdom says....I've never let go of you. Hold on Child..and in that moment...you start to feel steady again. Not because the waves calmed, but because you relied on the strength of the One who was holding on to you.  The enemy may see you as threat, but God calls you His Child. You have the power on the inside of you to move mountains, to see people healed, to speak life where the enemy has spoken death, to see chains broken off of souls, to see people set free...The word says you have not because you ask not. God longs to give you the desires of your heart...and when your heart is truly seeking after more of Him, He is faithful. More of Him equals more of His power, more of His presence, more of His provision, more of Him....He longs to fill you until you are overflowing, but He needs you to let go of you....trusting that He knows you better than you know yourself.

When it's all said and done....Reflecting on this past year, let go of what didn't work right(mistakes that were made, choices that were not chosen, the "what if's" that lead to regrets.) Let go it go and grab on to what He has planned for you. Hold on to what He holds on to and let the rest go..(easier said than done...but that's where peace is found) Trust Him to shine through....and then just be the You He made you to be. What are you seeking after in 2016? Spend some time over the next week and let Him pull back the layers, take off the band-aids and speak revelation as only He can. One day we will all be at the point where we look back over our lives and wonder if we made an impact. Living each day with His direction is the way to know....that one day we will hear Him say "Well done thy good and faithful servant".

The hurt and the Healer Collide

Facebook has an option to show you your "memories" of the day over the years...It's a way of looking back over what has been posted on this day for as long as you have been on Facebook. It's not always fun to look at, sometimes I found myself complaining way too much, other times I saw myself worrying too much, and then there have been some memories that just make me smile period. Today as I looked back over the memories from the past few years, they all seemed the same. Yes this day changed what I considered normal 17 years ago, yes God has a Romans 8:28 story from the day, but for the first time since that Sunday in 1998 I haven't dreaded today. The enemy threw what he could at me this week, but what he didn't realize was it only made me fight harder. We have a choice when things are thrown at us...we can fight harder or choose to feel our way through it. I wanted to feel, but I chose to fight. Through the fight I realized, I had let everything go about this day...except for that ...the day. He had already taken the feelings, the memories, the moments...and covered them as His own. At some point though the actually day and those leading up to it...needed covering. The enemy knows the calendar, but God knows the timing of the days.

2015 has been my year where the hurt and the Healer collided. I had to let it go, all of it, before He could do what He needed to do. There have been several moments over the years where I plastered the smile on and just did what needed to be done. Some even over the last week, but God is a Redeemer and a Restorer. He sees what is lacking and when His Child puts it in His hand, He makes it whole, new. Sometimes we have to push through things to get to the other side of what God has planned. It doesn't mean we always feel strong enough to do it, but that we know God has a plan on the other side of what we are pushing through. I've said all that to say...don't stop in the middle. Keep pushing even if you can't see the other side. Keep pushing even if you feel like you just want to stop for awhile. God's working as you are moving forward. If I had stopped this week, I wouldn't have looked on this day with a smile. If I had given in this week to what was looming, today would have been full of cover over my head moments. Today I'm thankful. I'm thankful for smiles, memories, and moments that are covered by the One who knew them all from the beginning. The line from this song....is my heart right now.. :

"It's the moment when humanity
Is overcome by majesty
When grace is ushered in for good
And all our scars are understood
When mercy takes it's rightful place
And all these questions fade away
When out of the weakness we must bow
And hear You say "It's over now"

I'm alive
Even though a part of me has died
You take this heart and breathe it back to life
I fall into your arms open wide
When The hurt and the healer collide"

Yes this day 17 years ago made heart hurt. I held on to that hurt longer than I should have, but that didn't surprise God. He knew the journey even before I knew their was a race. He ordered my steps so that I would find the freedom and the victory He had planned all along. Moments will come that make us question why, hurt our hearts, and cause us to want to hide at times. God hurts with us in those times, but He hurts more when He sees us holding on to the moments that only He can do something with. 

I don't know what your year, your journey, or even your day has held, but God does. He knows the days you smile because you feel like smiling and the days you smile because you know you should. He knows the hurts that you have held on to and the feelings that seems to have taken root. He longs for you to leave them in His hands, but you have to be willing to let go. I know it's hard, trust me I held on longer than I should have, but God is faithful to pry your hands open if needed. He knows the calling and anointing on the inside of you...and His plan always prevails. 

Feel or Fight part 2

Sometimes the choice we have to make when we we are feeling our way through the day...we have to make the choice to choose to feel how He feels about us versus how we may feel about ourselves. Let's face it..feelings are not always a good indicator of our true worth. Most of the time they are an indicator of how our day has gone. So if we hold on to the truth and the promise that God already knows how our day is going to go, then we can feel how He feels about us (and it). That being said...feel or fight....choice is ours. That being said...the journey, the race you are called to run is your own. You can't run someone else's or even compare yours to theirs. God never made you to run any other race other than the one He called you to. That's why you feel frustrated if you try to run your race like someone else. Be you and not only that ...be the you God made and called you to be. There will be days when your feelings want to tell you to crawl in bed and pull the covers over your head. The tears will fall, but the God inside of you..says fight. Fight to feel about yourself, your situation, and your journey the way He does. Fight to run the race He created just for you. He didn't say it would be easy, but He promised to run it with you. 

This week started off with me wanting to pull the covers over my head and just push the autopilot button on the week. I didn't want to feel my way through the week, but I was on that track. Quiet time with God and revelation through the grumpy mode and God was talking, but the choice was mine. The choice I had to make was feel or fight....fight it was. I had pushed through too much this year to let the enemy's bump in the road cause the journey to go around the mountain again. The mountain had gotten old after 17 years and I was glad to be off of it. Hindsight....I knew the battle that came with the week, but busyness and physical tiredness had me off my guard at first. That's how the enemy slips in..he throws his darts when we are tired and seeks to wear us down. Done with that though...he lost, God won. When you let "it" go in the hands of the One who can handle "it, He restores and redeems. God already gets your heart, already knows what you need, and when you need it. Trust Him....

Thankful tonight...thankful for the 180 that only God can do. From a week that started off with the spirit of pull the covers over my head lurking to a week that is ending with a peace that can only comes from Him. God knew the battle before I knew the day. He knew what this week entailed and He knew it was part of my journey. See if we never fight, we will never realize He's already won the victory. We spend so much time worrying about the end of the battle, when the victory is going to come, that we forget God says just trust and walk. He didn't say it would make sense, but simply trust. Fight for the things the enemy has taken, or is trying to take. Tell God you are ready for Him to take them back, and then walk out the fight. I felt the shift in the atmosphere last night....I can't explain it, but I knew God was turning it. I knew God was making the way from the covers over my head feeling to the smile that comes with peace. I didn't know how He was going to do it, but I knew He would. He had already done more than I could have ever imagined...why would I doubt Him with this. My feelings didn't agree, but His whisper was feel the way I feel about you period. Tears through the smiles today as He used a few Beanie Babies spread throughout some bags to bring healing to this Jesus girl. 

God you know the hearts of the ones reading tonight. You know the battles they are facing, the ones they just came through, and the battles that are still to come. God fan the flame on the inside and pour in the courage to fight. For those that have lost loved ones this Christmas season, just hold them. God hold them until they reach the part of their race when You say walk again. The timing is Yours, not ours...God thank you for peace, thank you for grace, and thank you for whispers. In Jesus name...

Feel or Fight

This was the question God posed on the way home today and I just about shouted(after I said ouch of course...). To say I've fought feeling my way through the last couple of days would be an understatement. The enemy never fights fair and for me to think he would start now, well I should have known otherwise. I'm thankful for revelation before it got too deep. I'm thankful for a deep sense of fight in me that regardless of what I was feeling, I was going to fight. This is me being transparent for a minute...I'm usually on autopilot at this time of the year. I usually put on that smile and go through the motions for the month of December. That's what I have done almost every year for the last 17 years. In case you are new blog reader and are not familiar with my December day story, my sister passed away in 1998 five days before Christmas. It does something to your traditions when you lose someone you love, especially someone who is in your everyday normal routine. I'm not going to dwell on that right now, that may be a blog for another day. I know I've said it before, but I'm a stuffer. I think we all are if we truly get honest with ourselves and God. We have things we don't want to deal with , feelings that we feel but would rather keep to ourselves, so we stuff them. We ignore them and put on that smile. What we don't realize is, the feelings don't go away. They are still there and are starting to take root. Roots eventually begin to grow and blooms come out. They may look like bitterness, anxiety, anger, insecurity etc. I had the blooms, but didn't realize I could do anything about those roots, until earlier this year. (So many times we pick the blooms of things and leave them at the altar without ever dealing with the root ). This year I pulled up the roots and left them in the hands of the only one who could handle them. Freedom was there and through my time with God, He began revealing how He had redeemed and restored that day. What the enemy meant for to cause pain, God had brought healing. Hear my heart...it takes time to get to this point in the process and only God knows when. For me, I was past time, but thankful to finally have listened. That day where my normal changed left a huge hole in my heart. It's a hole that will always be there, but God knew that. He opened the door for a friendship that only God could write. A friendship with some amazing friends who are like family. I'm a better me and in the process of becoming the me He made me to be because of this connection. God knew that in 1998 how the journey would continue. He knew how I would one day be a special education teacher and now teaching the same age kids my sister was when she passed. He knew that in 2000, my parents would attend a homecoming in Kentucky of a family I had never heard of before.  He knew that in 2015 I would finally deal with everything I had stuffed and find freedom. God knew....I don't have the answer to the why questions I've asked over the years, but He gets that. He knows I still ask, I still have those teary moments at times (especially when people talk about sisters), but that I trust Him. I trust Him to be the One to dry the tears, to remind me of His promises, His calling, and that He is the only One who needs to worry about the why's. 

Fast forward to this week...as I said earlier typically I'm on autopilot and find my way going through the motions at the start of December. December started and it seemed to be going well....so far so good. I was like yes, I'm moving forward God. Let's enjoy the season. That verse where God warns us to be careful not to think we stand, lest we fall...yeah it's in there for a reason. The enemy seeks to devour and wear out. Let's face it this time of the year, that's common. We are all running as fast as we can to get the list of to-do's complete and be everything to everybody, all at the same time forgetting those two words in another verse of the Bible...be still. Getting still is in there for a reason, it's His reminder to us that we need Him to be what we cannot be. We need Him to restore our peace and that takes getting still. Busyness leads to tired and tired leads to grumpy, in time things that normally wouldn't annoy you do...enter in frustration. Things that usually wouldn't make you doubt yourself do..enter in insecurity. See how the enemy plays...he doesn't fight fair. I'm thankful God intervened only a few hours into all of this and said..it's battle time. He pulled back the layers for a minute and let me see through His eyes. The enemy was mad that I had found freedom this summer and this was the week he was determined to see me run backwards. Child of God...your feet only go forward unless you choose for them to turn around and run backwards. God's not leading you to your past, that's the enemy's lie. So dig in...and fight. When the enemy throws the feeling of wanting to crawl in bed, pull the covers over your head and give up on the day...fight. God knows your feelings, but He also knows He's stronger than those feelings and He's on the inside of you. It's taken 72 hours for the fight to rise to the fingers. I've pushed through more in the last couple of days than I could even begin to put down. I didn't always push with grace, but I pushed until I heard that still small whisper this afternoon. Then I shouted....yep God got through. See I could have made the decision to feel my way through this week, let myself go back on autopilot, and go through the motions. The enemy would have won then...and God didn't redeem the day, restore my joy..for me to let that liar take it back that easily. Fight Child of God...when God has redeemed you, He called you His. When the enemy comes in and wants to take what is yours....take him to the place where God said nope..she's mine. We have closed hands too often for what we don't need to hold on to and open hands for what we need to hold on to. It's time to let God control the opening and closing of our hands. I know the fight isn't over this week, but God's already won ...now I just have to walk out His steps. 

I know the holidays are tough when you have lost a loved one. I get that believe me. Christmas hasn't been the same for me in almost 17 years. You may have an anniversary time around Christmas like I do. The choice is yours to feel or fight through this season. You know where you are on your journey, but hear my heart. If you are ready to move on past the feeling part of it, God wants to redeem the day. He wants to bring healing to the pain you feel in your heart. He can't do it in the physical as in bringing your loved one back, but He can heal in the spiritual realm. He can heal those parts of you that you can't see....if you will let Him. 

Different kind of blog I know, but this is my heart right now. I've been in a battle all week and am still walking forward in it. Usually I get to move to the other side after the blog is finished....but this battle of feel or fight is different. God gets that and I'm thankful with the help of some amazing anointed music, some wise counsel from a friend who reminded me of the King on the inside of me...God is moving this battle to the fight side. There is a calling and an anointing that 2015 has brought and I'm not going back....Devil notice served, this Jesus girl is taking back her season, armor on, I'm ready to fight. 

How can it be?

How can it be? I love this song by Lauren Daigle. One of the sweet young ladies that I have been blessed to watch grow up, has started singing it as well. I just watched a clip of her singing it last night and it messed me up(in a good way). God's been trying to get me still all day to finish the message/blog He started writing yesterday morning. How many know though that this time of the year getting still is not easy? We move around doing a lot of a good things, but let's get honest...if God had to choose between us doing and us being with Him, He would pick the latter. The doing doesn't matter to Him if we don't spend the time being with Him. There is a shift in the atmosphere...a new level is coming...God's ready to pour out on those ready to receive, enter in the enemy who seeks to devour with everything he can do to keep us from receiving. That was the word God started speaking yesterday....the enemy seeks to devour us in many ways(Get still long enough and God will get specific on those ways too). Now for the walking it out....those are tools in your hand for battle. Knowing the way the enemy works against you doesn't help unless you choose to pick up the shield and keep pressing forward. Not everything is a test..sometimes God's just saying keep moving forward despite how you feel, despite how tired you are, despite the tears that want to fall. Keep moving forward because I have already cleared the path for you to walk. Keep moving forward because those distractions are not from me and they are not for your attention. Stay focused on me....and know that my enough is enough.

There are going to be days when the plans don't go right, when the tears well up, and when the feelings want to answer for you. There are going to be days like this....we may feel in the flesh, but we live by the Spirit. The Great Defender pleads our case. He handles the case of distractions, the case of feelings, the case of busyness when we let Him have the briefcase. He knows those things impact us, they hurt at times, but He knows our hearts. He gets the feelings and defends those when we let Him. Ouch...let that sink in...He's not surprised by things that upset us, things that hurt us, or even things that make us smile. He knows it all, understands it all, and says just trust me. I love it...

Sometimes the moments that make you want to scream are just that moments that make you scream. Understand where they come from...period.

Tonight I'm thankful that God knows when we need a filling of His presence. He knows when we have been drained and we need a Word from Him. I'm thankful today for friends that pour in when I've poured out all I have. There is an anointing that is on the inside that is fighting to come out. I'm done with boxes and fighting the mold. The enemy knows what is on the inside of this Child of God, hence the battle. The moments that you used to call a test are just confirmation that you are on the path I've planned for you child. Those moments that you used to call test are bumps and you know how to walk forward in them Child, now get up and get moving. I knew this morning there was a blog coming. I've felt it in my Spirit and knew with the busier I got, the more it was coming. God was pulling something out, and the enemy was pushing to keep it on the inside.

There is a shift in the atmosphere. There is a filling of His presence that God's pouring out. There is an emptying of self so that God call fill you of Him. There is a call going out...are you listening? The foundation is being laid and God has more in store for you than you can even imagine. Are you ready to walk in it? He's fighting your case and dealing with everything in the past. He's calling you to focus on the now and the forward. He has lives for you to touch, people for you to impact, and a difference for you to make. He said you could be all that He has called you to be. He's covered and taken care of the details. Walk in the anointing and the confidence...and all that entails. Pour it in and on me Lord...I'm beyond ready. There is a new season and a fresh anointing coming my way....

Have a blessed one!

Taking it back

"How bad do you want it?"
I know it's a line in a song  (which is powerful by the way. ), but let it sink in as a truth as well.

How bad do you want His presence?  Once you have tasted and experienced it, nothing else will satisfy. We can try to fill our day with good things, but without God things there are voids. There are spaces in our day,  our heart, and our soul that can only be filled by Him. There are moments in your day that He made just for you. Are you focused on finding them or what the enemy is doing in your day? Let's get real for a minute...the enemy is on the prowl throughout your day....that's a truth, but God is also at work in your day. In fact sweet reader, God has already gone ahead of you and covered your day Child of God with His blood and His protection. Things may catch you surprise in your day, but they don't God. He's not surprised and in fact He already knows how it's all gonna work out for your good. That truth is sometimes hard to see in the middle of the mess, but that's where faith and trust come in. If we believe He has our steps ordered, then we trust Him to show us each step to take. Choice is ours. 

So how bad do you want it? The enemy has already decided what he's going to try to take from you. It may be your joy, your sense of purpose, your peace, your focus...he knows where God has anointed you and where you are the most threat to him. Protecting it...happens with time spent in God's presence. Time spent letting God pour into you those things that only He can say. Time spent letting Him speak His truth to your soul through His word and revelation. Time spent letting Him restore and heal you from the wounds from the attack.

The last 72 hours have been revelation on top of revelation. Things I had been praying for this past month...God was speaking truth to. Areas the enemy had gone after, God was redeeming. So how bad do you want it reader? Spend time telling your Heavenly Daddy that you want it back...and watch Him go get it. He is the restorer of focus, of purpose, and of peace. It's like cleaning up the mess after you clean out your closet. It feels good to go through and weed out things you don't need anymore or that may not fit. If you threw the clothes on the bed,  you have to clear them away in order to rest. Things in the natural reflect things in the spirtual. ...Let God clear away all of the things that He cleaned out that may not fit anymore and give you a place to rest.

I don't know what battle you are in right now, but God does. He knows exactly what the enemy has tried to take or has taken from you over the past week or even month. He longs to restore it and to take it back for you...just ask Him. Are you willing to go after that joy, that peace, that wholeness you feel in His presence?  Sweet reader God called you and anointed you. He has a plan and a purpose for your life that only you can do. The enemy sees you a threat...tell him to hush it and smile as you step all over his head. Take back your joy even when you feel like crying. Take back that peace where the enemy tried to sow anxiety. Take back your purpose where the enemy tried to sow doubt. How bad do you want it?  Personally once you have tasted that sweet sweet prescence where God comes down and whispers to your soul...this is how much I love you. You fight to get it back. You cry out to the only One who gets the tears and you stand on the truth that the One who has called you is faithful and He promised to do it. Thank you Jesus for restoration and healing...This Jesus girl is thankful yet again and amazed at how much you love me. Thank you for being a good good Father and for loving me the way that You do.

Redeeming the day

This blog was first titled Two days. I was going to focus on what God had told me about two days in my past, but as He so lovingly does...He changed the title and the focus. I've written about these two days before in previous blogs, but until this year I let what the enemy did those two days have too much focus. I looked on the days with frustration, stress, and anxiety. Let's face it...those two days were days when I really wanted to just pull the covers over my head and stay hidden from the world every year. Until God stepped in....the anxiety that had taken root from stuffing way too much from those days had spilled over to a worry, anxiety, over-analyzing walk. I had learned how to put on the face and do what needed to be done. (Side note on this...give your friends permission to be real with you. So many times we push through things and put on the smile when deep inside we are pushing. We don't tell anyone because well what would they think. Enough of what people think...get real with yourself first, find freedom, and then give others the permission and the space to do the same. God didn't call you to be anyone but who He made you to be. Quit apologizing for it(period).

I got real this year with some feelings, took God back to some hurts, and left them in His hands. After all I had tried handling them on my own, but yeah well it didn't get me very far. I kept going around in circles around the same mountain that looked way too familiar. When we finally let God strip back the layers of our heart, take the band-aid off, and pour the peroxide in ..healing starts. Healing lets us see things that the enemy meant for evil through God's eyes. It lets God redeem days the enemy thought he was going to stamp as his, but God says no, these are mine. God doesn't waste a moment when we give the memories of that moment to Him.

It's not an easy process and yes there are A LOT of tears that come from it, but there is power in the testimony of what God can redeem from what the enemy threw your way. There is healing when you leave the previously stuffed emotions and feelings in the hands of the One who has wanted them all along. There is freedom in walking in the victory God has planned for you when He first thought of you. Don't let what the enemy has tried to take, taken, or is planning to take keep you from walking in that victory, Child of God. For me, it meant going back to the moments on days that rocked my world and letting God show me those days through His eyes. Yes there were hurts on both of those days, but there has been healing as well now. God has a plan and a purpose for your life. He initiated it from the moment you took your first breath. For me, it's been letting Him redeem those moments. It's been hearing that still small voice say I called you and anointed you. You are mine...moments and all.

I don't know what you are dealing with today, but God does. He knows your heart, those deep down feelings that you have stuffed and tucked away. He knows the hurt behind the smile. He knows the pain behind the praise. He knows what it took to get you to the moment you are in now. He knows what you have given to Him and what you are still holding on to at the moment. He knows all of this and still says...I love you. He loves you enough to speak healing to your heart. He loves you enough to redeem what the enemy has taken from you. He loves you enough to whisper His plans and purpose to your soul. He loves you enough that He died so that you could live in victory, in freedom. When He walked out of the grave, defeat lost and freedom won.

God I pray right now for the readers of this blog. I pray that you would speak to them right where they are in the moment they are in. God you know what they need. You know the ones that need mountains moved. You know the ones that need to let go so they can receive the healing you promised them. You know the ones that need to take that step in the victory that you said was theirs to have. God thank you now for what you are going to do. Thank you for taking the memories of moments that caused hurt, pain and working them for our good. Thank you for letting us look back on moments the enemy meant for evil and seeing them through Your eyes as you work them for Our good. We love you and praise you Jesus for being Our Everything. Thank you for redeeming us and calling us your own. Thank you for loving us like you do. In Jesus name...

Your Eyes or His

The Israelites wanted to go back to their comfort of Egypt but they were looking at the Promised Land through their eyes still. Instead of looking where God had taken them through, they were focused on what God had "taken" from them when He brought them out of slavery. They couldn't see their comfort as slavery, bondage...but the familiar was what they craved. There were a few in the group(Joshua, Caleb etc.) that could see the Promised Land, the dream God had given them through God's eyes. They saw what they could do with God and not just what they could do. They knew that alone they were nothing and they were going to need God to take on those giants(as they saw them) that were occupying their Promised Land.

When the blinders are removed and God allows you to see things with His eyes, He puts a new perspective on things. You may see the giants walking in your promised land, but you know that God is bigger than those giants. It doesn't mean you may not feel afraid looking at the size of them and knowing what size you are, but feelings don't dictate your actions. Spiritual eyes remind you of what God has brought you out of and what He has taken you through. He brought them out of Egypt before He took them across the Red Sea. He needed to get them away from their bondage before He could start working miracles on their journey. He had to take them through some things before He could get them close to their Promised Land. He had things He still needed to do in their lives so that they would be ready for all that He had to offer them.

Out of the spies that were sent into the Promised Land, Joshua and Caleb were the only two that saw with God's perspective. They didn't see the size of the task, but they focused on the size of their God. They didn't see the frustrations and the details that it would take, but they knew who had called them. God wasn't surprised with the report from the spies. He knew when they went into the Promised Land who was going to "get it" and who was going to focus on what couldn't be done. He knew the hearts of the men that went into the land and their outlook didn't surprise God. Let that sink in...

This has been a taxing week for me. It always is when we transition back after a break. It's taxing on the physical, which impacts the emotional. I've been close to tears multiple times this week, but I finally got still last night. God had spoken this word into my Spirit the night before, but the picture wasn't fully focused. How many times do we look at our Promised Land, our dreams through our own eyes instead of His? Oh my....if we would just stay focused on what He's called us to do the rest will fall into place. There have been so many moments this week when I have taken His glasses off and put my own on. I started to see situations, circumstances, words, and even myself through my own eyes. That only leads to frustration and stress...(Trust me!). Fast forward....and His glasses back on and breathing starts to slow. Peace enters in and suddenly things that seemed stressful seem well they are not in your hands anymore. Joshua and Caleb knew the size of the giants that were walking around in their Promised Land, but they also knew what God had promised them. Don't you see? His promise to you is Your promise...walk in it. Yes the giants may still be there (in fact they probably will be...) but what God has planted, no man can uproot. What God has started, He finishes. So sweet reader, your eyes or His...how are you going to view your promise? 

Tuesday Truths vol. 10

Leviticus 26:13New International Version (NIV)

13 I am the Lord your God, who brought you out of Egypt so that you would no longer be slaves to the Egyptians; I broke the bars of your yoke and enabled you to walk with heads held high.

I read this verse last week and I'm going to be honest it hit me like a ton of bricks. I was like God in Leviticus...and He said yep. There are nuggets throughout the entire word of God. I sat there reading this the second time and God just said.."What's your Egypt?". God knew the answer to that question...but He wanted me to think about it. The Israelites were often found complaining of wanting to go back to their Egypt. They wanted to be comfortable again because that's where they thought they were happy. They didn't realize that God had brought them out of comfortable so that they could find their promised land. Often times we have to move out of what we deem comfortable to truly grasp what God has created us for. We have to move out of the boat to truly see that we can walk on water with Him. Comfortable is not where growth happens and sometimes we listen because our feelings dictate our actions, but oh if we would remember where He has brought us from. That's a shout right there.....

I don't know where your Egypt is or what it is, but you and God both do. You know where God has brought you from and what He has delivered you from. It may be anxiety, insecurity, fear....but if God brings you out of it (and He will if you ask Him and take that step...) He breaks the chain and gives you peace to walk forward. Sometimes we just need to get still and let Him remind us of just how far we have come with Him. He didn't leave you in Egypt to stay a slave, God created you Child of His for Freedom...and in Him we are free indeed. The enemy may remind you of your Egypt, but remind him of his. God is the same yesterday, today, and forever. Walk in the freedom that He gave you when He brought you out of your Egypt. If you are still in Egypt, if you are ready to leave what has kept you in bondage behind....He's ready to take it and give you what you need to walk free with your head held high. 

Stronger still....

This weekend a sisterhood is gathering not on a mountain, but close to it. We all have a story that we took to the mountain this summer and left there. We came down off of the mountain different, changed. Some found the encouragement they needed to keep moving forward, some realized finally they weren't the only ones in the middle of a mess, some found the fire that they had been searching for, and some found their breakthrough. Since we have all left the mountain, we have taken the enemy back there a time or two. We've taken him back and reminded him of what God started on the mountain, what God carried on the mountain, and most of all what God delivered on that mountain. We've reminded the enemy that what God started, He finishes...and God started something on that mountain. He breathed life into an army, a sisterhood that became Stronger. Stronger not because the mess went away, but Stronger because God said let me have the mess. Stronger because God said "I'm walking this with you....step where I step.". Stronger because God said....I can do more than you can imagine THROUGH you if you'll let me have it. Stronger is looking at the mountain through God's eyes and not your feelings.  Yes, this sisterhood is getting together and as the scripture says where two are three are gathered...yep God's already there.

I went up to the mountain not sure of what to expect. My friends were leading the retreat, but I was way out of my comfort zone. I knew God was in it though and had already been working on my mess. See I'm a stuffer and up until the time I registered for the retreat, I was perfectly content to keep stuffing. It was comfortable until it wasn't. At some point as children of the Most High, He will let us walk so far on our own before He makes it uncomfortable enough that we get still and listen. God is a good, good Father (Yes I'm loving that worship song right now...). He knows what we need and He knows when we need it. He knows just how long that chain will reach before we look up to Him and go...can we break this now? He knows and the timing doesn't surprise Him. It may make us go really God?...but then again His ways were never ours to understand. For this I'm just simply thankful. Thankful that my steps are ordered by a God who planted a purpose and an anointing in me before I was even born. Thankful that He doesn't waste a moment and uses all of them for my good according to His purposes. When we step where He says to step, it may not always feel right or make sense, but He never promised it would. I went up to the mountain with an open heart, God had already started peeling back layers......and the healing started on the mountain. Years of stuffing how I felt about things, putting on the smile that "was expected", and living life in a box...had taken it's toll. The band-aid had been ripped off, and the great Physician had brought the peroxide to the mountain. Peroxide doesn't feel the best when poured into a wound, but it's cleansing and brings up healing. Sometimes it bubbles and brings the yucky stuff to the surface, so that the washing can take place...and cleanse it all away. If we are never willing to let God take our band-aids off, true healing can't take place. It takes time and doesn't always feel great, but it's freedom. The mountain started the healing that God had ordained for this season, the chains had been broken, and this girl was learning what freedom truly looks like(and it wasn't feet glued to the floor anymore!)

Healing doesn't mean the enemy doesn't try to remind you of the past. (Remind him of his future at that point...). I've learned since that mountain time, this Jesus girl is a threat to the enemy...and therefore there will always be bumps and darts. My God is stronger and the same power that He had, I have. Let that sink in Child of God....when we received as our own what Jesus did for us on the cross, we became joint heirs with Him. That means what HE has, we have....let's walk in that authority and victory. It doesn't mean we will always feel it, but God is stronger than our feelings. For every feeling (anxiety, doubt, discouragement, fear, insecurity etc.) God has a truth. At some point, how we feel about ourselves can't be our measure of how we see ourselves. God's truth is that measure and that makes us stronger.

If you are a regular reader, you have seen my posts from this summer forward. God has been working. I let go of a lot of things on that mountain and the weeks after. I let go of anxiety, of fear, of insecurity, and of people pleasing. I let go of control, let's face it I only thought I had it anyway. I let go of who I saw myself as and embraced who God said I was. The enemy had taken two days and called them his own, but God said I've redeemed those days. I called you and equipped you for those days. They may have knocked you down for a minute, but you came up stronger. (Blog to come soon with more about that...) . If you are wondering more about this Stronger sisterhood (check out my Nashville mom's site: Stronger ) God gave her a vision on the mountain months before this summer and it has spread. I've watched this woman go through some of her "it". What should have knocked her down, God redeemed and made her stronger. She's sharing that strength with women across the country and it's a fire that is spreading.

I don't know what mess you may be feeling your way through today, but God does. He knows that smile you put on because it's expected. He knows why you do what you do and who you are trying to please. Let's not forget readers, He knows the desires of our heart. He knows when we set out with the right intentions and when we set out to please someone else. God knows what you have stuffed down and what you have covered up with a band-aid. He knows why you keep the band-aid on, but He also sees the trouble you have keeping it on and how many times you have had to replace it. (Let that visual sink in...it's deep). Let Him take it off sweet friend...yes it's going to hurt at first, but the freedom that comes with His healing is priceless. The freedom that comes when you let Him take that pain and make it into something beautiful. The freedom that comes when He empties you of all of your "stuff", so He can fill you with all of His "stuff".  I'm thankful for what He started this summer, because His word says He will be faithful to complete it. I'm thankful God redeemed what the enemy tried to take for a time, and in return gave me purpose, His. This season isn't without it's struggles, but there is a peace knowing that God knows just how high I can handle the waves and as long as I keep my eyes on Him, they will stay under my feet.

God speak life into those reading this today. You know where they are at on their journey and in this race we call life. God know you alone know their hearts and what they have poured out to you. God speak strength to those that are trying to figure out how to pick up their feet to take the next step. Speak healing to those that have taken the band-aid off and gotten real with their "stuff". Speak peace to those as that need it and remind them You alone can speak to the wind and the waves. God thank you for who you are. Thank you for being that good, good Father that loves us more than we love ourselves. Thank you for staying after us when we try to walk it on our own and for catching us when we fall. Thank you for picking us back up and reminding us our steps are ordered. Thank you for giving us a spirit of power and of a sound mind. Thank you for moving some of our mountains and for climbing the others with us. Thank you for being You Jesus. In the name of Jesus fill us up so that we can pour out from the overflow of your presence. We aren't moving back Jesus because we know You are calling us forward. ~Amen...

Tuesday Truths vol.9

It's a week off and that means reflection and revelation time. There are a few blogs in the works, but none ready for publish yet. Here are some thoughts from the heart today with a Tuesday Truth:

Revelation 12:11
11 And they overcame him by the blood of the Lamb and by the word of their testimony, and they did not love their lives to the death.

I've heard this verse more than once over the last couple of weeks. It's a truth that has started to take root as I've reflected over the last month through His eyes. God can see what we cannot see and knows what is headed our way. Things, Moments, Situations may surprise us but they do not take God by surprise. He is not shaken, stressed, or frustrated. He knows just how high that wave can rise and He knows when to tell it to be still. As I think back over this past year, there is a shout that rises up in me. A shout that makes me excited to look back over where God has brought me from and through. This time last year insecurity, anxiety, and fear were constant companions. Discouragement and Frustration came soon after their companions because the ground was ripe for them to take root. You may be looking at that word fear and trying to see how that fits in....but people pleasing is just that. If we are so fearful of what someone is going to say or do that we do everything in our power to keep them happy...it's fear. Those companions had taken root and the blooms were stress, frustration, and the blahs. The enemy had slipped in through some situations that instead of giving to God I tried to handle on my own. In our own strength...we can do NOTHING. This life was never meant for us to do on our own, but with the One who created us. Fast forward to earlier this year and the blooms had continued to come back even after I would lay them down at His feet. (Thankful for the wise counsel from a friend that said I had to take God back to the place..to the root of things). Through some serious time with Him, some pulling back the layers, God started rattling the chains the enemy had latched around my ankles. You can be a child of God, saved, hearing from Him...and still chained to what is comfortable. I'm thankful God loves us like He does, but He loves us too much to leave us comfortable. He loves us too much to leave us asleep in the boat. July came...and one word from God, several moments in His presence....and the feet finally unglued from the floor. A simple prayer from 10 years ago was answered....God truly honors when we seek more of Him. He knew what I needed...and His plan always prevails.

I'm thankful for God's perspective. I'm thankful and humbled over the past couple of months. I've watched things that He has revealed in the spiritual take place in the natural. I'm thankful for feet that He unglued from the floor this past summer and for the blinders He continues to remove. I'm thankful for protection that He saw what the enemy had headed in my direction and He stepped in just in time.  I'm thankful He loved me too much to leave me in the boat. I'm thankful He knew the calling, the purpose, and the anointing I had planted on the inside and He pushed me to see it through Him. I'm thankful for war moments of intercession where an Almighty Creator stops to listen to this Child of His. I'm thankful for moments period where He listens when I need Him or just want to talk. I'm thankful He fights the battles I can't see, the ones I can see, and the Ones I can't even imagine.I'm thankful for the bumps that He uses for My good. I'm thankful that our steps have been ordered even before we were born and now is the season to walk out the calling He has placed within us. I'm thankful that He saw what I was carrying and made it uncomfortable enough that I gave it up to Him. I'm thankful He loves us not because we are perfect, but because He is. I am nothing without Him. He makes the bumps from the enemy worth the tears and fears.I'm thankful He has already covered every step I'm going to take (even the ones that I shouldn't). I'm thankful for new constant companions of grace, discernment, and freedom. I'm thankful that God orders our steps even when we don't understand it in the moment. He knows the steps that will make us stronger. I'm thankful as the song by Matthew West says..."Grace wins every time" I'm thankful that I can see Him moving each and every day. I'm thankful for the peace that comes when I trust the One who says..."This way child".

You may be reading this and you are in the middle of something....praise Him anyway. If you are a Child of the Most High, He hasn't quit working just because you can't see Him. The enemy wants our Focus because with that we start paying attention to what he is doing and not what God is doing. With our focus comes our attention, and with our attention comes our devotion, and our devotion comes our adoration....are you starting to see how he slips in? Oh sweet reader...protect your focus. The enemy may be attacking, but God is bigger than the attack. He truly fights our battles when we give them to Him and stand still. (Blog in the works). Speak truth and remind the enemy what God has already done for you and what He is doing for you right now. God is the same yesterday, today, and forever. He didn't work on your yesterday, plan out your tomorrow, to leave you in today. He's right there beside you.

Knees...

Battles are won and lost on our knees....

Let's get personal for a minute...the enemy is on a prowl. The battles are becoming intense and if you aren't feeling one of your own right now, flip on the news. Our adversary apparently senses that the last days are here as well because time is drawing near. The liar knows his time is about up period. As Children of the Most High, the battle isn't ours to fight. His word promises us that. Take Him at His word sweet child...God said stand firm, don't be afraid, and don't be discouraged. He never said the battle was ours to fight. God never promised it would be easy, but when it starts to feel like a battle...one it probably is and two it's probably not anything He intended for you to fight on your own. He knows what you can handle, He knows what you are ready for, and He knows how strong you are. Let that truly sink in....so many times we say God don't you know I'm not strong enough...when He's sitting there going oh but Child I know you better than you know yourself. God knows the timing of everything, EVEN the things the enemy is throwing in your path. That is a shouting truth right there....God's not surprised by things even the the things that hurt. Sometimes it's a battle you need Him to fight, sometimes it is tears that you need Him to dry, and sometimes it's carrying time. There are moments that hit in life when God doesn't expect you to fight the battle, He knows it hurts, and He just says Child let me Carry you. 

There are also going to be battles when your flesh wants to respond. When your flesh wants to defend and stand up...it's in those moments when we have to breathe. We have to take that minute to let God be God and remember who Our Defender really is. He didn't create us to have to defend ourselves, He died on the cross to take care of that for us. He loves us that much. 

We are living in the times Joel wrote about in verse 28. I know I have said that for a couple of months, but turn on the news....it's happening. There is a war going on that we can't see. Our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but it's in a realm we can't see. That's why we have to stay connected to what God is saying...cause it's a realm He can see. He can see what's going on, that's where that whisper of "Child Hang on.." comes from. He can see what's being said, that's where that whisper of "Child just be still" comes from. 

I don't know what you are fighting this week or even what you are feeling, but God does. He gets it. He knows right where you are at...and guess what He knows how you are going through this thing that your feelings told you was going to take you under. (God is bigger than feelings..). Trust God with the details and then leave it with Him. He can handle it...and He can also give you the strength to do it His way. When His power rises up, you respond with His response and you engage in the battle He designed for you to fight. Your armor was meant for the battle He designed not the one you choose to fight. (ouch..that'll preach...). Take time this week to let Him speak peace and confidence in you. Not to anything you can do, but to everything He can do through you. Greater is the One on the inside of you than he that is in the world. Walk in victory period! 

Open hands....trusting heart...

"Far be it from me to not believe...even when my eyes can't see...."

I have come too far for you to tell me My God doesn't know what's in my heart even when I don't. Sometimes He sings a song to us to calm us so that He can whisper to us. He gets our flesh, He understands when we don't understand. Too often times we think we have to be able to feel it to trust Him. The closer we get to Him, the more engaged in the battle we become...the more we will realize that's not always the case. A lot of times when we aren't feeling it, is when we must trust Him. The enemy is out there seeking to devour...and he knows his time is drawing near. We have to be on guard....we have to pay attention to that still small voice that says hands off child. What happens when we don't listen? The enemy slips in and begins to drain. When God is flowing through us, we can give more than we  think we can, do more than we thought we could etc. When the enemy starts draining, he starts wearing down our physical and emotional. The natural reflects the spiritual....oh we have to pay attention. Feeling out of balance physically (tired, stressed, overwhelmed etc.) can affect other areas because we tend to focus on what we can see and feel. That's why God said in His word to fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen...for what is seen is temporary and what is unseen is eternal. When we fix our eyes only on what we can see our focus is narrowed and we start to lose sight of who God created us to be. When we fix our eyes on what is unseen, what God is doing through us, around us, for us, and with us...we focus on our Creator and He promised everything else would fall into place when we seek Him first.


"So let go my soul and trust in Him..."

This line got me tonight...so let go my feelings and trust in Him is in essence what it means. For it to be well with us, we have to trust the One who made us. We have to quit listening when the enemy wants to shift our focus to the good and off of the God ordained tasks. We have to quit listening when the enemy speaks to our feelings, because the power on the inside of you says God's already covered that feeling. If I've learned anything over the last two weeks its that nothing that happens to a child of God has surprised God. Let that truth sink in for a minute....the enemy may be sneaky, but God knows it because God is omniscient. He isn't surprised and guess what...He already knows how to handle it...So why child are you letting the enemy push the stress button? (Yes I know easier said than done...but I have learned the quicker I do the God take it....the quicker I can move forward with what He's called me to do. The enemy wants your purpose, your passion. If he can make you forget what God has called you to do...to forget that fire you know is on the inside of you...he is winning. Well devil you have been defeated yet again....Take it back child of God...It's yours anyway. God made it for you....claim your promise and then walk in it!

Walking in the anointing and the calling God has for your life is going to make the enemy mad. (Period no question mark or comma). The enemy dreads the day when the Child of God lets go of the past, unlocks the chains(or even better...breaks them!) and takes hold of the promise seed that was planted within them the day they were born. God started watering it when you entered into a relationship with Him. He's just been waiting on the day when you noticed it was blooming and grabbed a hold of what He had started on the inside of you.

I'm thankful more tonight than anything for revelation. I'm thankful God's purpose and plan will always prevail. I'm thankful God finishes what He starts and when we need a whisper He whispers. I'm thankful when we feel dry, God waters. I'm thankful when the enemy has gone after our shout, God presses in until we can push back and take hold of what was ours from the start. The enemy has already been defeated child of God. Walk in that victory and power....

#thankful

It's thankful month and rather than do the daily post on FB of something I'm thankful for..last year I did a couple of thankful posts during this month. Here's the first ;-)

This year I'm especially grateful for brokenness and perspective. I'm thankful for God stepping in this year and going "It's time child.". I'm thankful God saw in me what I couldn't see in myself and forced me to see it. I'm thankful God wasn't content to let me stay comfortable and pushed me to where He knew I was created to walk. I'm thankful that I'm learning to not take myself so seriously or to focus on things I cannot change. (Some of you reading this just said an Amen!). God reminded me this afternoon of the verse so we fix our eyes not on what is temporary, but on what is eternal. God will lead you what the eternal things are.

I'm thankful that I am finally at a place where I am happy. Has everything gone according to plan? Why no...Is everything going according to plan? Umm..no that's not the case either. See I've learned what that verse meant that says I've learned to be content in all things. The day does not have to be going our way for us to praise Him during it. This is a hard truth that I have had presented to me multiple times in the last couple of weeks. (That is usually God's way of going...it's time to pass it child). When we have a relationship with God, we know who has our day and that's all that we need to know to walk it out. Honesty, transparent moment....your flesh/my flesh/the flesh will most of the time not feel it if the day is out of your comfort zone. Your flesh is going to want to stay where everything feels happy, which is not necessarily where you are happy. Your flesh may feel tired and exhausted, but your heart is happy. Your flesh may feel confused about something, but your heart is content and thankful. The Holy Spirit on the inside of us gives us the power to tell our flesh to hush it. It's a power we do not use as quick as we should or as often as we should. God is faithful and for that I am thankful. I'm thankful that's He's patient too and that even when I can't always see the me He sees, He gives me a glimpse that keeps me moving forward. Life doesn't always turn out the way we think it should, because we plan our lives a lot of times with our eyes and our perspectives. I'm thankful my steps are ordered by the One who has the ultimate perspective.

My FB feed for the last couple of days has been filled with things that make me think. I'm not going to get into the debate of the "cup" or how tear jerking it is to read about Joey and Rory. Both of these things though make me thankful. Thankful for perspective to step back and pray for that family and to go out and do something for someone else. The world isn't looking at what's on the side of a cup. When Jesus said to give a cup of cold water in His name, He meant at any time...not just at Christmas. Yes we as the church, we as Christians have to take a stand, but the world needs to see actions behind our faith. Our words aren't enough if we don't have love behind it. The holidays are rough for those that have lost loved ones or are losing loved ones as Joey and Rory are living out in front of us. Let's keep them all in our prayers and be His hands and feet to those that God puts in your path. God is looking to flow through His children this season not just to them. Let's be Jesus first and God will open the door for us to share about Him.

A heart of thankfulness and an attitude of gratitude are not something we can achieve on our own. The verse right below the being content in all things is one that we quote a lot. We can do all things through Christ who strengthens us. God didn't say we could do it without Him, but with Him we can have a heart of gratitude.

I challenge you to take time over the next few days to think about being thankful. So many times we go through the posts on FB and post something each day, but we don't ever stop and truly think about all God has done for us over the past year. How has God moved for you this year? Thank Him for it...even those things that seem trivial. God loves hearing us say thank you for everything and doesn't put a label on it. 

Trust, Fear, and Steps

Our steps are ordered by God..that's a promise from His word. So why do we doubt sometimes that He may not be leading us down the steps we should take? We trust God to protect us each day in the car when we drive, but we doubt when something out of the blue hits us. Oh my if we could only take a step back and see things through His eyes, through His lens, through His timing. He doesn't have a piece out of place that He is in control of and there is not a piece that He hasn't planned perfectly. Did you catch that part..that He is in control of? So many times we are holding pieces to our puzzle (that God created..) in our hands and trying to force them into place. God never planned it that way..He didn't plan on us taking on things that were only meant for Him, but that's where freedom of choice comes in. God chose for us to have a way of escape when He sent Jesus to the cross for our sins. Our choice is to choose to accept that way, that gift. When we do that, it doesn't mean that life suddenly becomes easy, but it means the One who ordered your steps is in control. You have the power of the One who raised Jesus from the dead living on the inside of you. You may not feel like you can do anything, but with Him you can do all things.

This week started off with a sucker punch from the enemy. Let's face it, the enemy knows when we are tired, worn, and already feeling like the weight of the world is getting close to our shoulders. My heart knew that God had it all under control, but my flesh was screaming louder. Those are the moments of battle when it takes putting flesh aside and remembering why God called us to this race. Sometimes the battle isn't one we can always see, but we can feel it in our Spirit. Messes in God's hands always turn into a message. I've seen Him move yet again this week and show out in ways that only He could. God is faithful to do what HE said He would do. At some point in our walk, that has to be the loudest truth in our hearts and our thoughts. Our steps are ordered by the One who gave us the ability to step. Let that sink in.....

You may be reading this thinking, oh but she doesn't know the kind of week I have had. Well no I don't, but God does. I know what it's like to trust Him to work it out and I know what it's like to take it into my own hands to work it out. Hear my heart when I say His way really is the easiest. There is a line in a song that has been my go to this week that says..."I don't know how He's going to move, but I know He knows what I need.". There will be some moments in our journey when we know exactly how to pray and how we desire God to move. Then there will be some moments in our journey, when we simply go...God just move. Maybe you are at that point sweet reader.....where you don't even know how to pray, you just need God to show up and do what HE does best. Ask Him....tell Him what you need, what you want, and most of all how you feel. (He already knows anyway, but He longs to hear it from You.). Then once you tell Him, once you pour out your heart to the One who made it, leave it in His hands. Leave the feelings, the thoughts, and the control with Him...and then pick up your armor and keep moving forward knowing that the One who loves you the most has already gone before you.

God I pray right now for the one reading this post. You alone know just where they are at...meet them there. God speak life to their individual situations, to their fears, to their doubts, to their insecurities, to their discouragement. Speak to those feelings and remind them Father who is stronger. You never said we would feel our way through things, but that we could do all things with You. God thank you for ordering our steps and for giving us the strength to step when we don't feel like it, can't see it, or may feel like it's too deep. Thank you for covering those steps with your blood, but most of all with your love. In Jesus name...Amen

Saturday thoughts....

There is a shift going on in realms we can't see with natural eyes. There is a call going out to hearts that are listening. There is a charge being issued for soldiers armed and ready for the battle. There are chains breaking and falling away as those who have been wrapped up in things not of God, run full force to the One who Created them. God is moving...the waters are stirring and the anointing is flowing...If you haven't seen it or felt it, check your location. Are you where you need to be with God? Are you going through the motions with chains around your own ankles content to just stay in the boat? There is a season where God's okay with us staying in the boat, He knows we need rest and restoration, but these days we are living in....it's time for Children of the Most High to step out of the boat. 

Now I know what you are thinking, but the boat is comfortable and I'm not a fan of taking risks. Listen...neither is this non-swimmer. When God gave me that one day, I was laughing through the tears because it is so true. Sometimes we hang on out of fear, when God is saying "Just trust Me, I've got You." Fear will keep you in the boat, fear will keep you comfortable, and fear will keep you playing it safe. Fear will tell you to do this much and not anything more or listen to this or that opinion, fear eventually paralyzes you. Fear is a chain keeping even Christians from living the life that God truly called them to live. The life He sent His Son to die on the cross. Hear my heart....Jesus took all of that mess with Him to the cross, He already went through the pain, the agony and the stress of it. He took care of it so we wouldn't have to. Then three days later He showed us how to walk in victory. He did what He did that die to show us the power on the inside of us. Let that sink in...the same power that raised Jesus from the grave lives on the inside of you. I know it's a song we sing at times, but do we ever think about the words. God has given us authority over everything the devil puts in our paths. We may not always be able to kick it out of the way, but we can step over it in Jesus name. Fear is the root of playing it safe, and if we are following the steps of the One who made us, the One who called us, saved us...why are worried about safe? God says His plans are for our good, not to harm us, but to prosper us and give us a hope and future. 

You may be reading this thinking, but is He listening?  I've done everything He's asked me to as far as I know, but it seems like I still have a long list of prayers that I need God to move on. I'm trusting Him, but this timing thing is wearing me down. Oh sweet child, just hold on. God is never late even if it feels that way. That feeling is from the enemy because He wants you to miss the beauty of God coming in and taking care of you right on time. He knows what you need and more than that He knows when you need it. He has heard your cries and He knows right where you are at. He's ready to move in and take care of your needs...are you believing Him? Have you taken your hands off of it, so He can put His hands on it? So many times we pray for something pour our hearts out to God and then as soon as we say Amen our minds start talking that fear mess and we start worrying if God's gonna answer. When you say Amen...it's done in Him. Let Him work and just follow His lead. 

This is a different kind of blog today, I know....but it's my heart right now. I've started five blogs this week, all titles that God has laid on my heart, but none that He will let me finish just yet. God's moving, God's pouring out....His presence has been incredible this week in church and in my own quiet times. I'm humbled and in awe at this season right now. This year has been a chain breaking year, I've seen Him unlock each and every one and not just unlock them but to break them and move them so far out of my hands, I couldn't put them back on if I wanted to. The enemy still taunts with some, but God is greater...and I've learned to take the enemy back to a place or two this year. The enemy can talk all he wants to, God says I don't have to listen. I'll blog soon with more of the journey and how the anxiety and insecurity tried to push their way back...but God stepped in and said "Not today". The enemy will attack where God is using you. That's a truth I've learned in vivid ways the past couple of weeks. Fight hard reader...for God is looking for someone willing to stick through the battle. God is looking for a David who despite the size of the giant says, You can come against me with sword or spear(aka weapons of the world), but I come against you in the name of the name of the Lord. It's in the name of Jesus chains are broken, hope is restored, lives are made new, and the enemy is defeated. 

Walk in victory today knowing that God has already gone before you... 

Let me remind you again devil...

Preaching to myself, but if it's for you as well, then have a shout or say Amen whatever you do ;-) 

Let me remind you again devil that you have already been defeated. You have lost this war that you seem to want to continue fighting. You have done your best the last couple of weeks to push every button I have, to speak every lie you could throw my way, and pushed the feeling limit to the test. You have tried and let's face it, you may have even thought you had won for a moment....but guess what devil you lose. You are defeated and under my feet. My God is bigger than you, stronger than you, and louder than you. He's got your number and knows each and every scheme/trick you have in your playbook. In fact devil, my God knows what you are going to do even before you do. You have tried to take my praise, you have tried to take my confidence, but guess what my God is louder. Are you starting to get the picture? You are toast. You need to go back to where you belong which is, well you know. This may be a war and yes the fire is hot right now, but I'm going through it because He's got me covered. You've taken your best shot...but this girl's a fighter and I'm up and moving forward. You can't have my confidence because my confidence is not in myself. I know I can't do anything without Him, believe me He already made that lesson really clear. I'm confident that He's going to finish what He started and well we both know what my God has started cause it's got you scared. You can't have my fire because you didn't light the flame. God started it and God is going to keep it going. You can't have my purpose because God has my steps ordered and planned already. You can't have my season because it's blooming time. You can't have my energy because God is restoring it day by day. You can't have my words because God has a plan for them already as well. You can't have my oil, because my praise is going to unlock chains. You lose devil...there's nothing of mine that you can have. Feel that? Yep that's what a squash feels like....get used to it devil cause this girl is stronger and just plain mad at you. 

God's presence is priceless. He's been a faithful constant this week despite the feelings, the tears, and the moments where I was scared I could turn into a pillar of salt. The enemy has turned up the heat this week but my God used that heat to light an even bigger flame. He will finish what He started, He promised that. Oh Father thank you for Your revelation. Thank you for being my constant, thank you for being my covering, and thank you for being my protection. Thank you for loving me through my moments where I'm not even sure I love myself. Thank you for being You and for loving me for me. Thank you for ungluing my feet in July and for ungluing my mind tonight. Praise you Jesus! 

Whew this girl's about ready to take a run and is definitely having a shouting moment....I wish I could tell you what the journey over the last two weeks has been, but it's hard to put into words. It's been a Feeling Fog so to speak. The enemy has thrown more darts than I care to count from places and sources that I didn't see coming. I'm not surprised by his tricks anymore, it's just another page in this journey of moving forward. God's been faithful...with each bump He never let me trip over his mess. Each feeling always came with truth and revelation. God's promise of the One who has called you is faithful and He will do it...was truth to stand on. God is never late and always on time...He hears the cries of our heart and knows when we need His filling. He knows when our tanks are on empty and when they are on fumes and He promises if we'll pay attention to the gas light (the warning signs..blog for another day), He will always provide a filling station presence filled moment. He's not going to leave you stuck on the side of the road because you ran out of gas somewhere. (Let that visual sink in for a moment...because for me it was a shout!) 

I don't know what you are going through right now or where you are at on your journey, but God does. God knows each and every dart the enemy has thrown your way. He knows every word or action that has hurt you, every moment that has drained you, and every burden you have tried to carry on your own. He knows sweet child of His and guess what He has heard every one of your cries. He is right there with you saying just keep walking forward I've got you. Like a little child taking their first steps unsure of how many they can do, but they keep walking towards the parent encouraging them along the way....He's been there right in front of you. You may have felt stuck, but God didn't see it that way. He didn't waste a moment and He's been working for you the entire time. He always finishes what He starts, have confidence in that truth...He's faithful to His children. 

God move right now for each person reading this blog. Speak life into those that are feeling stuck, speak peace to those that are feeling overwhelmed, and speak truth to those that are ready to squash the enemy and move through this. Thank you for meeting us right where we are and for never leaving us. You cover us and we are thankful. Thank you for being our covering and for loving us right where are, but also for loving us too much to let us stay there. In Jesus Name...