Blog or Bust...

Wowie...apparently when you start this decent down the mountain, look out. The enemy is after you(of course if he wasn't scared of what you could do, he wouldn't care so much about what you do, do). I have learned that today in so many ways. Today has been a day. It's been hard to maintain focus and peace. To make matters worse, physically my head is about to explode, and mentally it has felt that way as well. It's life at times, I know that, but I did have a small meltdown this morning. The balance got messed up and the to-do list started to tip the WRONG way. I wanted to crawl in my turtle shell until I calmed down inside, but that's not how life goes. So life goes on, and for those who may have gotten the wrong end of me today, I apologize. My life is crazy times two right now and I'm doing the best I can. 

Okay so blog to come soon is from a conversation God and I have been having. It was on trust. It went something like: Me: God I trust you, God: I know you do, now trust yourself.

Sometimes I feel like God has the light shinning on the next step, but I don't trust myself to step into it. We doubt ourselves so much, that we hinder some of the good things God has waiting. Trust yourself to do what He's told you to do, and then do it. The first step is the hardest, but it will get easier with time.

We all just want to know that what we spend our lives doing is making a difference some how. We want to know that our day hasn't been wasted. Here's a thought(and one I'm still chewing on for awhile), seeds grow in different seasons and at different rates. You may not be able to see the difference you are making, but if you are doing what God's told you to...then BELIEVE that you are. It's not easy, because we are our own worst critics, but guess what tell yourself you are making a difference and that God appreciates what you are doing and the heart you do it with(because He does). We pray and ask God to send us encouragement some days, but sometimes that is meant to come within.

God knows when your tired is tired, and He promises rest. Remember though, rest may come physically, mentally, or spiritually. That's a blog still to come because it's still being written.
I've seen what peace looks like and I REFUSE to go backwards. It's a fight some days to stay put and keep walking in it.
IEP's are waiting so I'll have to wrap this up....I'm sure there is more to come as they are being written on my heart now. They'll be typed soon. Thanks for reading! Share and follow if you get a chance....
Until next time,
~Melissa

The "I don't care" syndrome

You know when you get to that point where the revelation starts to really take root? I'm talking about that point when you start to get it and you can see God smiling going, finally? Those moments can exhaust you, but when you wake up and realize the roots are starting to grow...ahh it's a good feeling.

So I've been plagued with the "I don't care" syndrome this year. The sad thing is it's been the wrong I don't care syndrome.  I've gone through some changes at work and then there is that turning 30 thing which caused me to re-evaluate a few things. I cared more about what others thought of me, what others did, and what others said(or didn't say). In doing this, I've lost myself in the process. I quit caring some of what I did(hello I can count on two hands how many times I've been to the gym this school year...that's not me). I can fix me(okay so before anyone goes you can't do anything without God etc., yes I am fully aware its me +God to do anything(really it's just Him). I'm at the point though where He's told me what to do, it's just up to me to do it.) So at that point I can fix me by doing what He's already said to do. I digress....

I've learned what the old saying means about "leading a horse to water but you can't make him drink".You can lead the horse to the water, you can even dunk his head into the trough of water, but only the horse can make the decision to drink.  I am responsible for me period. I am in charge of what I say, what I do, and what I think. That being said, why do we let what others say and do mean so much to us? God knows our heart, He knows why we do what we do....our motivation shouldn't be what others say, but what He will once say. I care(a little too much some days), but it's been on the wrong things. Caring about what others do(when its obvious they will not change and you can't help them) will only lead to frustration and stress. Do your thing, care about what's in your lane, your journey....those things on your God path and He will  bring everything else into place. We can lose ourselves trying to put band-aids on things only God can heal(fix).

So as I said to someone yesterday...I don't care anymore about "it". In the last week and a half, I've turned 30 and had the flashlight yanked back on this journey. I went from seeing how the pieces would fit together on something to taking it one piece at a time. Talk about a stress filled  cloud....(Just because there is a cloud hanging around, doesn't mean it will always rain...(but that's another blog).  So this road on the journey as I look ahead for now, is to just be the best Melissa I can be. To love all I can, to give as much as I can(to myself and others), and to not lose sight of what really matters and what doesn't. To just enjoy the journey called life and to be happy ;-) Being happy is a choice by the way....

Change what you can, pray about the rest, and enjoy the day. God has a plan in all of it and one day He'll show you how the pieces fit together, until that time do what you can and just breathe. Everyone may not understand you(appreciate or like you) and it's okay! Be confident in who He has made you to be, who He has called you to be, and care about what He cares about.

Until next time
~Melissa

Who has your flashlight?

I've repeated this lesson more times than I care to admit. Sadly knowing myself as well as I do, I am probably not finished with it either. So who has your flashlight?

You're on this road that we call life. It's a journey we all have to travel and a road we all have to walk. Some parts are straight and easy(those yellow brick road days), others remind you of the forest where you don't know what's lurking in the trees(think back to Wizard of OZ and you'll get the picture).

So who's holding your flashlight? Are you missing the pot holes or do you keep falling down? Chances are if it's you holding the flashlight, you are not as focused as you need to be. You may be looking at what's all around you instead of focused on what lies ahead. Looking around you see all of those distractions and then oops, you find yourself flat on your face laying in the road. You missed that rock in the road and you tripped because you were looking around instead of looking ahead. Oops....

New scenario....God's got your flashlight walking right next to you. You are focused on what lies ahead, and you see the rocks in the road so you can walk around them. You don't seem so focused on what's around you, but on where you are going. As long as you follow where He shines the light, no scrapes, no bumps, no bruises.

Faith is not knowing what the next step is, but in knowing who is holding the flashlight. It takes faith to not be in control and to trust that He's not going to let you fall. Trust Him, He hasn't let you fall(or fail yet). Now should you take the flashlight back for a little while(and we all do one time or another...we are human and flesh), rest assured He will be there to help you back up after you fall, put a band-aid on your wounds, and gladly take the flashlight back when your ready. He wrote the story you are walking, so He knows how each chapter begins and ends. Just take each word at a time and enjoy the story, it's yours :-)

Until next time
~Melissa

My box vs. God's box

Finally slowing down long enough to listen so three our four blogs are in the work....This one is from this morning.

I don't know if it's just me or not, but I love it when God gets personal with me. Some days He steps all over my toes, some days He just reassures me like a Daddy would, and some days He poses that question that leaves me speechless. This morning was one of those mornings. I was driving to work(remember I have a 45 minute minimum drive) and was getting ready to for some of my typical prayers. (Okay before I go on...think about that for a second...how many times do we keep asking God for the same thing, over and over all because He answered in the way we asked so we don't see that He's answered. Hmm...) So I was asking God again why a certain prayer hadn't been answered, and He lovingly showed me a small box, then a larger box. What He said next left me speechless for awhile(cause I had to think about it ;-))......He asked me why do you keep asking me for your box, when I've given you mine(pointing to the much larger one). I thought about the verse Ephesians 3:20 which says God will do exceedingly above what we could imagine, and then I asked myself why do I?

Why have I  been so set on a certain prayer within my box getting answered, when it was just a small "thing" compared to what God wanted to do? Hmm....sometimes we can't see Him working because we have our eyes focused on what we want. What I was asking God for was on a small level(and yes pride was involved)...what He worked out and the doors He has opened our on a much bigger level. God doesn't do things half way, when He moves, He moves. He opens doors others would think were impossible, and He moves mountains that others could only look at. God's the only one who could take a prayer for doing something small and answer it with some big.

Lesson in this: Don't limit God. When you ask Him for things, ask for His box, not yours. God's plans are so much bigger and so much better. Get your eyes off of what you thought you wanted and realize, His plans are for your good and to help you to move forward.

Until next time,
~Melissa

Some days you just have to take the lid off of it....

So I turned 30 last week...( I know some of you are thinking I wish I could go back to 30 etc.). It wasn't the turning 30 that bothered me, but the fact that I had so many things on "my list" that I wanted to have finished by the time I turned 30. (lose weight, buy a house, get married, a kid or two etc.) Trouble was it was "my list" and not necessarily "His list". Do I think all of those things are a part of His list, yes but it's just not time. I truly believe He'll give you the desires of your heart and He hasn't changed my heart yet. I was reminded several times last week that your who and your do are two separate things. How I wish some days that what is on the inside could shine out, that others could see more of who I am(and not just what I can do/or not do)....sadly that's not how the world works at times. Get comfortable with who you are and not worry about what others do/say, and eventually your feelings(and others) will get in line. That has been the biggest lesson I've learned/am still learning this year. Be happy with who YOU are, who HE made YOU to be, and just live your life period. Not every day is going to go your way, not everything is going go as planned, it's life. Chances are if you look back over the day, there is something you can find that made you smile, something you were proud of, and hopefully something that made Him smile. That's what matters in the day...love others the best you can, but love yourself as well. Don't beat yourself up at someone else's expense. Love for others doesn't mean you lose who you are in the process. God gifts are not forced and will not reap condemnation, but everything falls into place. When it's a God gift, you forget about what you are doing, and you just do.

Speaking of gifts, every Christian has a gift(or gifts) inside of you. You'll never know what the gift is until you take the lid off of it. Then once you take the lid off of it, you have to try it on to see if it fits. When it's Christmas morning, you don't just leave the presents under the tree...when it's time you take the lid off and see what's inside. You don't go shopping and buy new clothes without trying them on at some point(okay yes at some stores I can buy without trying on, but....you know what I mean). Sometimes to find out how your gift fits, you have to the take the lid off and just try it. You'll know when it feels right regardless of how others think it may "look". You may need to work a little before the fit becomes just right and you may need to lose a few things you have become comfortable carrying, but in His time it will fit and the world will see what you saw when you first took the lid off.

When you ask God to give you His eyes to see some things through, be prepared for some tears. Often times when we look at it with His eyes, we get ourselves out of the way and it can break your heart. We all have that innate desire to know that what we do matters, but I've learned this year(well actually had it drilled into my head with repetitive practice), that you have to first know that what you do matters. As long as you believe what you are doing is making a difference, you may hear the splash but you may not always see all of the ripples that come. You may see the seeds being planted, but you may not get to see the bloom. There are no small parts because without the seed you would never have a beautiful rose ;-)

It's Mother's Day today....to all those who have ever loved a child with a Mother's love(be it your own, an angel you have waiting in heaven, or the children God places in your life right now that you help each day)...Happy Mother's Day! If it's not your time yet to be a "mom" in the traditional sense, keep trusting Him, but while you wait....love the kids He places in your path. You never know the difference you may make in their lives.

Until next time!
~Melissa

Weekend wisdom part 2

Sometimes we make things difficult. God called us to simply love. Love ourselves, love others, and love doing what He's called us to do. The enemy is out there and while he can't touch YOU because you are a Christian, he can take your joy, your confidence, your time etc. If you are looking to be happy with anything or anyone other than God, you are sadly going to be let down. Even the best of Christians are still that humans at times. Let them off the hook, like God has let you. I have been reminded lately that those who can truly love YOU for YOU are not always in abudance. Cherish those friendships/relationships, realizing that the most important one is the one with God. I can't explain how He and I have the relationship we do, but it's been a journey that's still in the making. I asked God seven years ago for deeper and He's been faithful to answer that. (Side note: if you ask for a deeper more intimate relationship with Him, be prepared, sometimes to get to that intimate place it has to be just you and Him. That's not always easy). Sometimes that journey gets lonely because you have to get to the point where you realize, He is all you need. On to the gift inside of you, you'll never know what it is if you don't take the lid off and you'll never know if it fits or not until you try it on. (Side note: Just like shopping with a friend, be careful whose opinion you listen to about what looks right and what doesn't). Remember it's your dream and it's your journey. You are accountable for you. Quit caring what others are getting away with(They are sowing thier own "harvest"). Don't intervene until God says too(because then you have His favor and His grace).  Sometimes the encouragmenet you keep asking God for is meant to come from  you(a song you may hear, a verse you read, something God speaks to you), quit looking for it in people. God-encouragement gives you what you need to pick yourself up and keep going. I just want to have Him say one day, well done.  Until then, I'm learning(slowly at times) what this love walk is all about and the ups and downs of this journey. Those "big" moments in life when God shows up and shows out are important reminders and can sometimes be that encouragement we need to pick ourselves up when we are ready to just quit. A new part of our journey now is looking at each day for those moments when He shows up and shows out.   


Until next time
~Melissa

Weekend wisdom

 I'll try to keep this short and sweet ;-) I never know when I start out with one of these if it's just for me, for someone else, or for both. Some days it's a blog or bust (In other words I gotta say it to someone and this is my outlet for now).

• If God gave you a dream, He gave it to you period. In other words, His dreams can't be taken away. His dreams will come to pass when it's time. Now if only He'd give us a time table, but that's not always how things go ;-)?
• Don't switch off the gift(s) God has placed inside of you. Some people may not understand and some may not agree with it, but if God gave it to you(good test if it's God given....can you see a time He has used it in the past???), it's not to be hidden. There are so many treasures inside of you, uncover them, unlock them, and there you will find the keys to walk out some of your prayers. Fear will keep your mouth shut when God said to open it. Fear also has another name and it's called people pleasing ;-).  Speak when He says too, if you stay quiet, you may not be the only one missing out on the blessing.
• God never forgets what you ask for and when it's time He will bring it to pass if it's part of His will. It may just not look like what you specifically asked for ;-) Don't limit God or try to keep Him in a box.
• The same power that raised Lazarus and told demons where to go is inside of you...use it! Too many times we excuse away the very thing God gave us to use to fight.
• God's given you so much, He's just waiting on you to realize what makes you special. Don't let others push down what God has tried to push up ;-)

God knows your weaknesses, and God always provides (think about Moses and Aaron). Moses didn't need Aaron to talk, but it made him feel better and it gave him the confidence to go forward with what God told Him to do. Tell God your but statement, and then when He answers, walk forward and quit making excuses. Enough for now......More to come soon, He's writing just know that ;-)

Where are you at???

Call it reflecting, call it getting close to my birthday, call it whatever you want, but I'm in a thinking mood;-)

So where are you at? Are you moving forward or are you stuck in one spot? Are you frozen or are you focused on what's ahead? Where are you going and where are you at? So many times we look at this journey focused on what's happened in the past and what we have coming up in the future, but what are we doing with this thing called today. Are you letting what others think matter more than what God thinks? Do you have His plan in view or are you doing the day your way? Is love your main focus or is pride leading this? Where are you at? There comes a time when  you need to look at where you are at in your journey and take inventory. Sometimes if you are stuck or find yourself not going anywhere, look around. I bet you can figure out why you are where you are. God didn't call you to walk the journey alone, but He didn't call you to walk with an army of people either. I've said this before, but I'm repeating it again here for good measure. Not everyone you were meant to effect, was meant to affect you. Just because God placed someone in your path to see your light, didn't mean that He wanted theirs to burn you. You are accountable for you period. It's hard to walk straight ahead when you keep looking around at what everyone else is doing. You are responsible for you period. So where are you? What's God doing in your life today? That question was part of the sermon Sunday and it stuck with me. I have several "memory stones" that I can look back and see God's hand, I can see where He carried when I couldn't walk, where He used me to do some AMAZING things, but those are all in the past. They help me stay focused and redirect me when I look away, but lately I can't put a finger on anything "big". At least so I thought......How many times do we keep an account of those "big" things and forget about the "little" things? That time we sent that friend a text just right when they needed it, that listening ear we gave when someone needed to talk, that prayer whispered in the middle of the night because God woke us up, that time you took to believe and invest in someone when no one else would, and most of all those doors that keep opening and the favor that keeps coming that only and I mean ONLY God can give. So many times we look at only those "Big" things God does, and we forget those moments throughout our journey that make us who we are. Have those big things impacted my life, why yes they have? BUT those little things have made me who I am. Hence the title of the blog, moments along the journey. It's those moments along the journey that shape us, mold us, and give us a reason to keep walking. It's those moments that make the diamonds that you share with others. You have a journey that only you can walk. There is a part that only you can play. Don't rush His timing, don't run ahead, and don't open the doors on your own. If you open the door, you have to keep answering it. If He opens the door, He takes care of it all.

If God has given you a dream, let it take root. When it's time it will bloom and everyone will get to see on the outside what has been growing on the inside.

Pretty sure this one is not finished yet, but will have to write more later ;-)
Until next time,
~Melissa