"I may be in a daze"

I've known this blog was coming since the last one. The press has been real and I can't say I've handled it the right way each time. This time of the year is CRAZY and overwhelmed is an understatement. The time seems to go by so fast and the list of what needs to be done seems to grow longer instead of shorter. I thought I was sliding back on autopilot again. It's what I seem to do when life gets overwhelming. I push out anything (and anyone) that isn't on the list and just go through what looks like the motions getting done what has to be done. This is a dangerous place because it's one step away from the "not caring zone". That's not me and most that know me know that...I'm thankful God does too.  I think it was the seventh time listening to "This Means War" and it hit. This wasn't the motions, this was a daze. In the Motions zone, God seems distant. God's been right there the last couple of weeks and caught EVERYTHING I've thrown His way (including me a few times). He's been one step ahead of me and known what needed to happen before I knew there was a need. We limit God some days because we ask for a specific request and when God answers we don't always see it as an answer even though God took care of the need. God is a limitless God and will meet the needs of His children in His timing (and in His way). One day my sleep schedule is going to be consistent and normal again. Until then though (and yes I fell asleep earlier on the couch hence I'm wide awake now), I will press and pray through the late nights knowing God has a reason for everything.

There is a praise that comes during the moments when you start to realize what God is doing. When you know that the enemy is throwing what he can your way to distract you and that it almost worked....but God. My mind multi-tasks way too much, and if I'm not intentional in trying to stay organized I can lose focus easily. (and some of you said Amen at this point..).  There is a praise that comes when you go after what is yours even if it doesn't feel like it makes sense. When we start to use His eyes for a lens of our feelings, the rest begin to grow strangely dim. Strength doesn't mean you have it all together and never find yourself going God what are you doing....it means you know how to press when you feel stuck. It means you know that even when you are on empty, you stand on the give and it shall be given to you truth....and know that God keeps His promises. I know it doesn't feel easy sometimes and we wish we could just pray away whatever is making us press. God has a purpose for the press; there is a strength that He is developing that will be needed for the next mountain etc. There is a season where you press with people and a season where you have to learn to press through just you and God. (but that's a blog for another day).

Transparent/Mask off moment.....so what do you do though when it looks like the motions may be looming and you feel the edge of the turtle shell at your back. You keep seeking Him and standing on the truth that if you go after Him, He will go after you and make everything else fall into place. It's a shift in your mind that has to happen when you quit looking at God to do and looking to Him to be. So here are a few "lies/feelings" I've pressed through over the last couple of weeks. I'm not sharing because I've got this journey down....I'm sharing because someone else may be able to relate and one of the enemies favorite lies is that you are alone in what you are feeling..so pop that now and stand/circle that iron sharpens iron.  Maybe you have heard the whispers of "what you are doing doesn't make a difference." Planting seeds takes time and even though you may not be able to see the roots growing, God is using what you do to invest in the lives of others. Never let that lie take root...because the enemy can paralyze you with it. Believe me, I've been there done that more times than I should have. If you believe you don't make a difference, you won't. You will defeat yourself before you ever get started because your heart won't be in what you do. Your head doesn't have to believe it makes sense, but your heart does.....You aren't always going to feel like you are making difference (can someone say Amen?)....but if you are walking out what God has called you to do and being who He made you to be...then trust Him for the difference. His difference-making power multiplies instead of subtracting.... Trust God for the ground to sow the seeds He's given you to plant. So many times we get caught up in the details and God's saying just be you and I'll handle the details. One of my favorite quotes from The Circle Maker is "Work like it depends on you and pray like it depends on God". In other words, do all that you can do, but at the same time trust that God will do all that He can as well as you seek Him in prayer. Seeking isn't a one-time quick prayer...it's a daily pursuit of the only One who truly makes sense.

Maybe you have heard the whispers of "You just thought you got free from that..". Y'all we live in a world that has more in the atmosphere we can't see then we can comprehend.  We wrestle not against flesh and blood but against principalities. In other words, just because you run up against something doesn't mean it's got a hold of you again. It may slap you in the face one day, but if God set you free...it doesn't have a hold on you. It has to leave when you tell it to, so speak to it in Jesus name and keep walking on. It doesn't mean it won't come find you again, but you have the power to trample on its head. Max Lucado says the presence of anxiety is unavoidable, the prison of it is optional. You may run up against it one day, but when God has set you free from it...you are still free indeed. Now if you are still bound up and locked in it, that's a whole other issue and a blog for another day. I'm done with the enemy going ...you just thought you walked out of that chain. Hearing the rattle of chains doesn't mean you are locked up if Jesus has set you free...let that sink in. God's word says be anxious for nothing, He never said we wouldn't feel anxious. He gets it and will use it for your good and His glory...if you let Him.  He's been too good to me lately for me to question that He's still got this thing covered. I've fell in His lap more than once broken and thought I had pieces He needed to put back together.....when He needed me to just keep trusting that He was strengthening and restoring what He had already put back together.

I started this blog a couple of days ago one night late...thinking I was going to get to finish it..but God needed to finish writing it first. It may feel like you are in_____, but hear me when I say just because you may be in it doesn't mean it's in you. Oh me, when I heard that word this morning something inside of me, started leaping. It may feel like the waves are lapping at your feet and that underneath doesn't feel so secure....but fix your eyes on who you can see in front of you. Don't turn to the left or the right....but straight ahead knowing that He has already planned out each and every step. He gets the moment you are in and still whispers just trust Me. The deeper you have to press, the more the root is growing and that's okay.  Roots have to be secure in order for the bloom to be secure. If you seek Him, I mean really seek Him....go after what He wants to tell you (even if it may not be what you want to hear), You will find Him. God's not hiding it from you....He just wants to know you are serious about finding it. Looking and seeking may seem like synonyms but one has a deeper press than the other (and that's a blog for another day). Some moments are just for you and God....it doesn't have to make sense to anyone else, but I am so thankful for when He pours out that word you have been seeking after. I'm thankful when He says this Child is what I'm doing......ya'll words can't describe when the Creator goes, lean in for a minute and listen. When we pursue Him with a relentless surrender, He will pour out a reckless love that knows no limits and overwhelms us with a peace that can't be explained.

God thank you for your seed, thank you for rain in the natural and in the supernatural that waters the seed on the inside of us. God thank you for what may seem like a stuck moment in the natural is in the supernatural a breakthrough moment because the seed is coming forth in season. Thank you for a praise that may not make sense to anyone, but that goes straight to your heart. Thank you for loving like you do and for catching us when we start to let the weight of our this and that weigh us down. Thank you for stirring up what only you can stir up....a moment is never wasted when it's in Your hands and for that, I'm eternally thankful. Thank you, Jesus, that greater is still to come....and that You are just getting started in Jesus name!

Some mornings you know there must be a blog...

Some moments are just messy and feelings can make them even messier. Some mornings bring tears and frustrations....so what do you do when that hits? What do you do when you start wondering if you missed God again because it just doesn't feel right? Feeling right isn't a bad thing...sometimes it means you are right where you are supposed to be and the enemy is SCARED to death that you are close to your calling and purpose. Sometimes it doesn't make sense because it's not supposed to...He wants us to trust especially when it doesn't feel right. The enemy likes to push certain buttons and knows exactly what to throw your way for doubt to be right in front of your face. Are you going to grab it or are you going to go home and take yourself to your prayer place with Him knowing you need Him to move period? 

Sometimes we feel the push and it lands us on our face....but when we let the push draw us closer to Him, a shift happens. I'm not saying I've got this thing figured out because I so don't. I almost tripped over my own feet this morning and took myself home to a nap and a God really session. One of my life verses is about how God has ordered our steps. He made that verse take root when I truly understood what He did on a North Carolina interstate back in 2010. So if He ordered them, He's got them ordered now and He's not going to let me miss Him. (and yes I asked Him again this morning and even said out loud it felt like I had missed Him). So I went home and put on what I know is that sweet place with Him, I put on what I knew what not only take me to His throne but to His lap. Sometimes God is trying to get our attention just for us to come crawl up in His lap....and when we get up there, He cups our face in His hand and says what we need Him to say. This morning ...it would be another reminder of "Trust Me, Child". 

I don't know what God's doing right now, but there is a battle going on that we can't see....and He's needing us to stay focused on that. As Children of the Most High, our battle isn't one we can see. If we fight on the level we can see, we are fighting a battle we will never win. It's time when we know how to fight, to arm ourselves and fight in the realm that can't see. Hear my heart for a minute.....the enemy knows how to distract you from fighting and to make you think you can't fight anymore....(been there, done that). It's in those moments when you have to make a choice to walk what God's called you to....even when you don't feel like it. 

I'm thankful for words of confirmation. God knows what we need and will get us to the place where we can hear what He's trying to pour into our Spirits. God doesn't fill us up with a word for us to keep it to ourselves though, He stirs it up on the inside for us to share it with someone to pour out what He's poured in. That sweet readers is why we have to stay filled up because there is a world waiting on us to be His hands and Feet....and once they see us as His hands and Feet, they will listen when we share Him. The struggle is real though when life takes over and the schedule is crazier than ever. The struggle is real when you feel like you are fighting alone and trying to press through even when it doesn't seem like anyone understands or can read the face you are wearing. I get that....but know this, He's there and understands right where you are at. He's got a purpose for that push and when we listen, He starts to bring into view what He's been doing all along. It may not make sense to anyone around you, but when He stirs up that calling on the inside of you....there is a peace that makes everything else grow strangely dim. 

So this blog may have been just me preaching to myself and writing so I can remind myself for later, but just in case it hits home for someone else, I'll end up clicking publish. I understand more and more what God meant by dying to flesh every day....but I can I tell you some days I have to die more than once during the day. Every time feelings and emotions rise up, remind them whose you are.  There is a seed of everything that is yours as His Child, just because you can't see the fruit yet doesn't mean it's not growing (and I claim that in Jesus Name #patiencewillbemineoneday).  We were never made to fight the battle on this level because the victory has been won in levels we can't see.  For me it means, walking in who God says I am and letting that be my focus. Insecurity will always rise up if I'm looking anywhere but at Him and I was reminded of that again today.  What has God promised you? It's time to go after what He has said was yours and take it back. Your praise isn't tied to the opinions of others, but your praise could be what God uses to move someone else. That prayer you keep praying for God to show you where your place is.....may very well be in the gap for someone else(Ezekiel 22:30). It doesn't feel right because it's just meant for you. God doesn't do something in you to not do something through you. It's not always going to make sense to those around you, but you know what God has called you to.....don't get distracted. God is in the details and the rest will be a story only He can write. (that's a blog for another day). What you have seen God do is what someone else may be waiting on. Grab a hold of if God did it once, He will do it again....and go to war as only you can Child of God. 

Who are your Amalekites?

8 The Amalekites came and attacked the Israelites at Rephidim. 9 Moses said to Joshua, “Choose some of our men and go out to fight the Amalekites. Tomorrow I will stand on top of the hill with the staff of God in my hands.”10 So Joshua fought the Amalekites as Moses had ordered, and Moses, Aaron and Hur went to the top of the hill. 11 As long as Moses held up his hands, the Israelites were winning, but whenever he lowered his hands, the Amalekites were winning. 12 When Moses’ hands grew tired, they took a stone and put it under him and he sat on it. Aaron and Hur held his hands up—one on one side, one on the other—so that his hands remained steady till sunset. 13 So Joshua overcame the Amalekite army with the sword.14 Then the Lord said to Moses, “Write this on a scroll as something to be remembered and make sure that Joshua hears it, because I will completely blot out the name of Amalek from under heaven.”15 Moses built an altar and called it The Lord is my Banner. 16 He said, “Because hands were lifted up against[c] the throne of the Lord,[d] the Lord will be at war against the Amalekites from generation to generation.” (Exodus 17: 8-15) 

I've loved this section of scripture for a while. I remember reading it before and was like okay move on, and then one night God brought it to life. If you read the set of scriptures right before this one, it is a time of frustration in the Israelite camp and they were in a wanting mood from Moses. They wanted him to make happen what they wanted right then and there. Verse 7 says they tested the Lord going "Is He among us or not?". Think about all they had seen God do at this point and yet they still doubted if He would come through our not. Oh how we find ourselves in that spot at moments....and if we aren't paying attention to when those thoughts and feelings arise, we can get into the same mode they were in.  Frustration preceded battle....so by the time Moses made it to this battle time, he was probably growing weary. Verse 11 says as long as Moses' hands were raised, the battle continued in their favor. (but remember he went into the battle already weary from frustration...) Verse 12 says Aaron and Hur held his hands up when he grew tired...until the battle was won. Verse 14 jumped out at me today when I read this again...God wanted to make sure Moses recorded what had happened that day and to make sure and tell Joshua. Joshua was so in the middle of the battle that he couldn't stop to see what was going on in another realm. God wanted him to know. I'm sure on those days when Joshua would grow weary....this would serve as a remembrance for him. 

I don't know how your week has gone, but God does. Maybe you are in the place where Moses is and the battle has left you tired and weary at this point and it's getting hard for you to keep praising through. (Cause after all that's how we fight through the battles....praise). I pray you have an Aaron and Hur close by to hold your hands up and remind you of all that God has done already. Maybe you are the Aaron and Hur in the situation....speak life to the ones God has placed in your path that you know are growing weary. Don't be like the priest in the story of the Good Samaritan and just wish them well as you travel on...do what you can and remind them how to press/praise through.  Maybe you are the Joshua in the story and you need to read back through all that God has already done...(pick up your Bible and get started.....When God gives me "that verse" in a moment I put a date beside it in my Bible. Sometimes I just need a trip back down through those to remember that if He spoke then, He's still speaking now. If He did it then, He's still doing now. God is no respecter of persons and is looking for children in receive mode to pour out all of Him.). Maybe you are the Moses that needs to tell the Joshua your story. So many times we keep to ourselves when God does something when we need to be sharing our press through the praise moments or simple our praise moments. You don't know who needs to hear, but God does. Don't hold back just because  insecurity hits. (I'm finding that when those insecure moments hit (and trust me they will), it's because what is on the inside of you is needing to come out and it scares the enemy. Hear my heart...if the enemy can make you doubt what is on the inside of you, feel like you aren't enough to do what God has called you to do, think you have no place doing it because you are you, or discourage you from seeing that you are making a difference...he wins. The enemy throws those lies when he is scared...because if he can slide one in and you start playing it around in your head, he can slow down that walk of yours. It's in those moments when we as Children of the Most High have to throw those lies back in his face and stand on truth. Transparent moment....all of those lies I listed above have been thrown at me at least once this week. In the hustle and bustle of the week, exhaustion hit early and putting those thoughts in their place took a backseat to sleep (or attempting to sleep). I love that God knows what is going on in realms we can't see and will slow us down at some point even if it means we spend our time with Him crying it out. That's a blog for another day...

I'm at a place in this journey that I've seen what God can do and I know greater is still coming. I still find myself having to stir up what is on the inside when the enemy throws his mess in my path, but God is faithful when we take the time to stir it up, He'll pour it out. I don't know what battle you are facing at the moments but hear my heart...if God moved then, He is still moving now. Get still and let Him remind you of your Amalekites(battles already won) moments...and let that stir up what is on the inside of you to keep pressing through the now.  See what the enemy doesn't quite get that I'm strong enough now to know that when he starts throwing what needs to be done even if I don't slow down to do it at first. It's in the recognizing what is going on and slowing down to remind the enemy not today.  Maybe you always find yourself in the Aaron and Hur part and can do the helping someone else through, be open enough to let others help you and trust that God is going to give back what you are giving out. I'm dreaming again and knowing that the God who has already done so much...still has greater in store. I've seen what He can do...and that fills me with an expectation of what He still has in store.