The Word says the Power of Life and Death are in the tongue(Proverbs 18:21). Words are important, more than most of us realize on a day to day basis. We sometimes think through what we say to others, but how often do we pay attention to the words we speak to ourselves. So this speaking life to myself truth is one that is still slowly taking root. I'm good at speaking life in moments to others, being that encourager, that cheerleader....but when it comes to speaking words to myself, umm not so much. I still have moments where I struggle with insecurity, self-doubt, and lack of self-confidence. Progress is being made...but there are some moments when the comparison trap hits, insecurity usually comes out of this mouth more than truth. (If you were in my daily world last week at some moments, you are probably amening at this point).
So I'm in church this morning and we are singing one of my new favorites "Resurrecting" by Elevation Worship. If you have paid attention to my posts any, you know I'm all about the lyrics in a song. To me, that's where the power comes in....and this morning all of a sudden while singing, God was like sing it like you believe it. Ya'll I'm not a singer, but I knew what He meant. So many times we sing lyrics during worship and lose sight of what we are singing. Anyway....the chorus this song was the shift I needed because the turtle shell mode was coming back and I needed it to shift to just let Him lead this week. (Turtle shell mode tends to be all about feelings and nothing about choosing to let Him lead...but that's a blog for another day.). The chorus is below and the link to the song is at the end of the blog.
Let the words of this sink in.....it's not that we have anything in us that is good and can do anything. When we become His though, His Spirit takes up residence and when His power connects...well for me it usually ends up in a moment where God and I are talking in words I can't understand. I don't know what defeated you last week, for me, it was me. Thankfully, His mercies are new every morning....and even every hour if we need them to be.
By your Spirit I will rise from the ashes of defeat: whatever kept you down, the Spirit on the inside of you says...it's time to get up. Defeat is not a word in God's vocabulary because He has already defeated everything that could possibly have power over us when He died on the cross.
The Resurrected King is Resurrecting Me: Y'all at this point the third or fourth time we sang it, I almost had a shout. Whatever has happened in the past, God died to speak life back into you....and the King who didn't stay in the grave is bringing life back to whatever may seem dead for you.
In Your Name I come alive, to declare your victory: God does what He does in us and through us so we can share it with others for His glory. It's not about anything we can do...because without Him we could do nothing (pretty sure He'd make sure of that). It's His breathe that lets us do what we do...
When the power goes out in the middle of the night and you start to hear a beeping sound, it wakes you up. (No worries, it was my battery pack on my computer set up, but nonetheless in a house where there is utter silence....there was a sound and I was awake). I've had about four blogs going this week and nothing that I could finish. To say there are multiple words running on the inside of me would be the understatement....when I asked God about it midweek, the parable of the sower came to mind. Not to give the enemy any more credit than he deserves, but he sees words and shifts...he knows when there is a word that needs to take root and he sees the ground its now being sown into....sometimes the enemy's way of devouring is to go after the seed before it becomes a root. I see the visual of a hawk trying to take food before anyone else can get it. It's a way of picking at something through distractions to keep from protecting the seed/food until the root can happen. This past week our small group lesson was on Surrender and the revelation God spoke down was pretty deep, powerful etc. Then Tuesday night throughout the whole Dove Awards, the message was about sharing Him, about being His hands and Feet, basically about simply loving others.....Wednesday night I was at a moment where I just couldn't people, so I stayed home to watch Restoring Hope. I fell asleep around 7ish but thankful a sweet census lady rang the doorbell and woke me up. I turned church on not long after that and needless to say stayed glued for the rest of the service with tears streaming down my face at multiple times. To say God knows what we need is truth.....and He knows how to make sure we get it.
We are all messes in progress because He's still writing the message as only He can. Some days we get so focused on the chapters that have passed or the chapters still to come, that we lose sight of turning the page to praise Him for what He's writing now.
There are still moments when I don't want to people, when I would rather just lay on the couch and watch TV. There are still moments when I compare myself to others WAY TOO MUCH and forget that the journey I'm running is where my focus should stay. I slip into the comparison trap way more than I should as a Child of the Most High, but this mess in progress is working on leaving that at His Feet for good. Sometimes I think we keep the mess side of us hidden so much that if we would just be real about all of our story....who knows maybe it is what someone else needs to go, okay I can keep moving. Ecclesiastes 4: 9-12 is a power-packed set of scriptures......and there is a blog to come later on those. That set of scripture has been rocking my world for 17 years and I'm still amazed how God shows me yet another insight into His word.
You can see glimpses into about four different blogs, hence the writing struggle this week. I love music, most of you know that, and sometimes God will drop a line of a lyric in my Spirit. Yesterday was one of those days. I didn't know what the song was, but I googled the lyrics "God you don't need me, but somehow you want me". God knows when you are in a fight...and He's going to give you the weapons to fight back...it's your choice to pick them up and use them. So I found the song and read the rest of the lyrics...imagine that it was called Control (I would say God has a sense of humor, but He just knows...). There is a link at the end of the blog for the song. I'm six weeks into my small group study on Freedom and to say the layers are pulled back....well they are. I've unpacked more stuff than I even realized I carried. It's about five blogs to come on that process, but not until it's completely over..so stay tuned on that. On to the visual from the wee hours of the morning....I've given things to God before only to take them back in a week or so because I thought oh I can handle this now. Over the last two years, I've been unpacking stuff with Him. I can see it...it's a lot of mess spread at His feet. I haven't picked it back up yet, but I haven't left it either. Sometimes the uncomfortable feeling comes because it's a nudging from Him. Something Payne said in the service I watched Wednesday night stuck, we ask God for healing, deliverance, restoration....yet we aren't willing to take the steps He has told us to take. (Paraphrase is mine..)
"God you don't need me, but somehow you want me, Oh how you love me and somehow that frees me to take my hands off of my life and to give you control..."
Enjoy this beautiful Saturday! More posts to come as He writes...
Almost a month ago, I looked down and realized I had jammed my big toe at some point. It was the one on my right foot, so I tend to not always pay attention to the pain on that side especially when I need to go visit the chiropractor. When I looked down that day I noticed that it was black and blue and all of a sudden the pain made sense. (I also noticed I needed to make a pedicure appointment, but I digress). I had written the pain off to just the usual when in fact it was a new pain. I also knew it was still flip flop season and taping up the toe wasn't going to be easy. Most days I wore the shoes I wanted and just taped the toe when at home. Do you know how long it takes for something to heal when you try to make the process on your own schedule instead of just dealing with the inconvenience and doing what needs to be done?
Happy to report my toe has been taped pretty much solid since I wrote the first paragraph Saturday. I've had this title in my head for a week or so, and God's been slowly painting this picture for me. I'm stubborn, God knows it and well He and I are working on that. I'm a visual learner though and God doesn't waste a moment to a paint a picture.
I'm four weeks into a small group this semester on Freedom. Heads up, the blog posts are coming on the other side of this process I'm sure. This is a process I've been taking my time at with over the last two years. My friends in Nashville spoke life into it to start the process, but it's taken longer than expected. Then again, I was trying to compartmentalize things. It's kind of like the toe that I taped when I wanted to. I worked on the freedom as long as I was in Nashville or talking with them, but the wall stayed up everywhere else. Can I let you in on a lesson learned the hard way? Transparency isn't comfortable, but it's how you get free. We delay the process on our own when we treat the wall like a curtain that can be raised up and down at our choosing. Hear my heart, do we need to tell everyone our junk, heavens no. However, those that God has called you to do life with, to minister with, to serve alongside etc., those stay sensitive to God's whispers, and if says let them in...do. It's a lot easier to go through the process of unpacking junk if you aren't doing it solo. (That's a blog for another day,from a lesson learned the hard way of not letting some people in) That being said, I'm great at living behind a turtle shell....but small group this semester has brought the connection piece. It's been the buddy tape to work towards healing, that if left up to me probably wouldn't have happened anytime soon. God knows His timetable and I truly believe sometimes He brings in a wall of burnout to grab your attention and make you listen to Him. The obedience step that comes next is ours, but if our hearts desire is restoration and freedom.....God's going to keep promoting and stirring until we take the step jump in.
Child of His, sweet reader...God's heard the prayers you have been asking Him for over and over and over....and He's putting things into place for you to grab a hold of what He's promised was yours to take. It's yours for the grabbing.
I was watching an online prayer meeting this morning, and a pastor friend shared the verse above. At some point, read this entire passage. It's one that I honestly skimmed over when I was younger and remember it simply as just "Breakfast with Jesus". I can see the coloring sheet now...but there is so much meat and umph to this chapter. I truly believe God brings back verses at just the right time. He knows when our Spirit needs that push, but more than that He knows when we are ready to listen to that push. The most dangerous place for our Spirit to be is in neutral. Park is better than neutral, reverse is better than neutral (I know you are thinking how can going backward be better...but it's better than not caring whether you move forward or backward). I digress...back to the scripture.
These fishermen had done all they knew to do, they had fished all night and had nothing in their nets. Verse four said, Jesus was standing on the shore but they didn't know who he was at that moment. He called to them and asked them if they had any food, meaning had they caught anything. When they replied no, He told them to cast their nets to the other side. What happened next was one of those Jesus showing up and showing out moments, because their nets were full to an overflow. Once they saw how full their nets were, something in them knew who was on the shore. Verse 11 said they had so many fish in their nets, yet it wasn't broken. The next verse shows the heart of Jesus when He said come and eat breakfast. I just love that....
I'm sure the disciples that were out fishing were tired. They were doing what they knew to do and yet were probably feeling defeated because the nets were empty. In that moment of defeat, someone whom they didn't recognize at first, said throw the nets to the other side. I'm sure the disciples probably thought are you kidding me, but they did it anyway. After all, they had spent all night with it in one place and nothing happened, why not do what this apparent stranger was saying. I wonder if they hadn't cast their nets to the other side if the scene would have continued the same way. How many times does that whisper of obedience not really make sense to us? We have been doing what we know to do and yet, God's whispering hey throw it to the other side. It's not something that makes sense in the natural and honestly to anyone looking on the outside the obedience step may not make sense, but you may never know just how full your nets can be if you keep trying to fish with them on the side you have always been fishing on. Faith is throwing the net to the other side, knowing God's going to fill it up.
I was going to stop this blog right here, but then I noticed the subtitle for the next part of the chapter, Jesus Restores Peter. This is the year of Restoration, I know I have said that before in other posts. I've learned over the last month or so though that for things to be restored, you have to strip away what was there previously. The band-aids have to be ripped off and peroxide poured in. The old way of looking at things comes off and a new way is painted on. It's trading in our physical/soul way of looking at life, at ourselves and taking on how He views things. It's a process. The disciples may have not cast their nets on the other side if the had only been fishing for a short time. Obedience precedes restoration, Jesus had Peter's attention, He had Peter's focus, more than that He had Peter's heart.
Listen to the whispers this week reader.....is He saying it's time to cast the net to the other side? The world is waiting on us to be the body of Christ to them, by being His hands and Feet. It may not make sense to our physical to throw the nets to the other side, oh but what is waiting if we step out in faith and simply follow the whisper of the Master?
