You are not an island otherwise known as Melissa had better blog or she is going to EXPLODE!!
Disclaimer first, I am so thankful that I've learned to sort out what I feel versus what I know and regardless of those feelings I know that at the end of the day as long as He is happy that is all that matters. That being said, I'm still flesh and still have to think out loud some days and that only causes me to doubt myself more(lesson in that think out loud with Him first). I'm tired of apologizing for what He put down inside of me and letting the enemy tie me up(see Matthew 12:29). God is not the author of frustration, confusion, or doubt(Hello brain do you get that yet????). God knows what I need and when He's ready the pieces will fall into place, that being said I'm trying really hard not to get ahead of Him but I'm such a planner and so impatient at times. I'm learning that if I miss Him, He always knows where to find me. I'm convinced it may be better to just stand still and take the pressure of the storm instead of trying to walk or move forward. Sometimes it looks like the rain is pouring down so hard that you can't see where you are going, those are the times when you just have to stand still and wait for it to pass. Some days when your mind feels like things are coming one right after another, its important to just stand still and wait for Him to whisper through. The rain is not going to last forever and the sun will come out again. There is a rainbow on the other side in due time. Feelings will mess you up, they can cause you to doubt yourself and cause you to feel discouraged and down in the dumps. It takes discipline to push through the feelings and do what you know what you should do. It takes that same discipline to not drive through Krispy Kreme when the HOT sign is on and purchase a dozen when one will suffice. It's that scripture that talks about knowing the good you should do and not doing it. (Side note...DO not, I repeat DO NOT listen to the enemy when he throws the condemnation up in your face when you mess up. God loves you despite the mess ups and He forgives and forgets). So forgive yourself when He does and FORGET about it. (Easier said then done I know...). I know I must make Him laugh most days because I collect baggage throughout the day and then dump it on Him at night after I've exhausted myself carrying it through the day. I must start dumping it on Him when it starts, which takes practice and discipline and I'm learning.
I know this isn't the typical blog, hope you got something out of it anyway. I'll be back soon with a more inspirational piece ;-) I hope you can see though as the title says You are not an island. I wish you could see inside with what I sort out some days, I'm still learning and in the molding process. I'm a lot happier with me than I used to be, and I'm growing in being okay that other people aren't. I'm letting go of that people pleasing mess, not as fast as I would like, but progress is progress. I know God has gifted me in some areas and I struggle with that because the world I live in wants me to be a cookie cutter. I just want to be me and I want others to see the value in the me He made me to be and not the me they expect me to be. I'm learning to be patient and to sow seeds. I've learned that sometimes its the storms that water those seeds. He'll make them grown in due season.
Have an amazingly blessed week! More to come soon I promise ;-)
Monday, July 25, 2011
Friday, July 1, 2011
It's just another 18 wheeler in the road
Sometimes we quote Romans 8:28 and Genesis 50:20 until we are blue in the face. We look at these verses as our get out of jail free cards also known as nothing bad can happen to me because I'm saved now etc. We have to remember what the word also says about our enemy, He really is roaming around seeking whom he may devour. If you haven't figured it out yet, the enemy wants you dead short and sweet. Some days he will use whatever means to achieve that, even an 18 wheeler in the road.
Over my 29 years I have had two days thus far, that have really rocked my core and my world. One of those was when my sister passed away, the other was July 1, 2010. The last 365 days have been a journey, some better than others. I have done my best to always wear that smile because I felt like that was what I should do(but that is a whole other blog). Most of this journey has been between me and God, because I knew He understood. There came a point though where I knew I had to have a word to start moving forward. That word was from Exodus 33:22 that says When my glory passes by, I will put you in a cleft in the rock and cover you with my hand until I have passed by. Have you ever had a verse just hit you like a ton of bricks? This was one of those for me. (***Side note, if you are reading this blog and you have NO idea what happened July 1st, google The Bowling Family bus crash). I wasn't in Exodus that day, but He led me to that verse and I just cried for awhile. See so many times we question God when things happen to us, we ask Him why and wonder why He didn't stop it. God knows us better than we know ourselves and He knows the enemy as well. I truly believe the enemy seeks after those he's scared of, but I digress.
That day we were truly put in a little cleft of the rock and covered by His hand. There was a greater war at place that day, greater things going on that no one on that bus could even see. God was up to something that only He knew about it. God kept us all safe that day. Sometimes safe doesn't always mean without scars, but safe means able to recover and move on. God knew that even with the bruises and scars, that He would get the glory. See when man looked at the pictures of the wreck, it didn't make sense. A lot of things that happened that day, defied the laws of physics, but that's God. He doesn't always do things that make sense. Can I tell you why things happened that day? Why no, but I know this regardless of how I felt that day(how I still feel about that day), He's used it for His good.
There are some days when my scars still hurt(especially with the weird weather we have had lately), but I have learned that meaning of the verse for when I am weak, He is strong. Sometimes its our scars that keep us moving forward, reminding us of where we have been, and what He has done for us. It's those scars that remind of us of the plan He has for our lives because we are still here for them to hurt ;-) Things could have turned out very differently last July 1st, but I am so thankful they didn't. I'm thankful God covered us with His hand that day, kept us safe, and has seen each of us through every day since. The journey hasn't been easy and at times it's been down right tough, but His grace is simply amazing.
Some of you may be wondering about the title of us this blog. Well along with the verse came those words from Him one day when I was no doubt telling Him(very frustratedly I'm sure) about something that I wanted Him to fix. He very calmly said that's just another 18 wheeler in the road. See I'm not the same person I was when I climbed on the bus that day. When you live through one of those days that shake your world, your faith, the core of who you are, God does something(and He is very nice to remind you of it;-)) His words were a reminder of how He had taken us through something in ours eyes that was HUGE, so why shouldn't I trust Him to take care of this little thing? Maybe you have had one of those days that has rocked your world, maybe you even still have scars that remain from that day....He took care of you then, and will take you through this. Did He say it would be easy? Well no, but working out and developing physical muscles isn't easy either. We tend to focus on those little things so much, but it is in the journey that the muscles are developed. When we take our eyes off of the hurt and keep them where they are supposed to be, we get a little stronger every day. Life is tough and honestly it doesn't seem to be getting any easier.It's our choice what we do with those 18 wheelers(those things in our lives that our thrown in our path from the enemy to mess us up). They are life changing if we'll let Him work it out, otherwise we may find ourselves going around that same old mountain yet again.
It's just another 18 wheeler in the road I heard Him say one day,
so I closed my eyes to the day ahead and held on to His hand.
It wasn't what I wanted, but then again pain never is
I asked Him why and He just smiled and put His hand over it.
He took what He could away and helped me through the rest
Because sometimes you see it's the pain that makes us grow.
I know this is has been a longer than usual blog, but it's been a long 365 days. God has been amazing each step of the way. I truly believe He looked down the road that Thursday in July and saw what the enemy had thrown in our way. Then He moved as only He could and covered us. God never promised the road would be easy and that life would always go our way, but He did promise He'd be with us each step and that day He was. He took that 18 wheeler in the road, that thing the enemy wanted to mess us up with, and turned it around for His glory.
Over my 29 years I have had two days thus far, that have really rocked my core and my world. One of those was when my sister passed away, the other was July 1, 2010. The last 365 days have been a journey, some better than others. I have done my best to always wear that smile because I felt like that was what I should do(but that is a whole other blog). Most of this journey has been between me and God, because I knew He understood. There came a point though where I knew I had to have a word to start moving forward. That word was from Exodus 33:22 that says When my glory passes by, I will put you in a cleft in the rock and cover you with my hand until I have passed by. Have you ever had a verse just hit you like a ton of bricks? This was one of those for me. (***Side note, if you are reading this blog and you have NO idea what happened July 1st, google The Bowling Family bus crash). I wasn't in Exodus that day, but He led me to that verse and I just cried for awhile. See so many times we question God when things happen to us, we ask Him why and wonder why He didn't stop it. God knows us better than we know ourselves and He knows the enemy as well. I truly believe the enemy seeks after those he's scared of, but I digress.
That day we were truly put in a little cleft of the rock and covered by His hand. There was a greater war at place that day, greater things going on that no one on that bus could even see. God was up to something that only He knew about it. God kept us all safe that day. Sometimes safe doesn't always mean without scars, but safe means able to recover and move on. God knew that even with the bruises and scars, that He would get the glory. See when man looked at the pictures of the wreck, it didn't make sense. A lot of things that happened that day, defied the laws of physics, but that's God. He doesn't always do things that make sense. Can I tell you why things happened that day? Why no, but I know this regardless of how I felt that day(how I still feel about that day), He's used it for His good.
There are some days when my scars still hurt(especially with the weird weather we have had lately), but I have learned that meaning of the verse for when I am weak, He is strong. Sometimes its our scars that keep us moving forward, reminding us of where we have been, and what He has done for us. It's those scars that remind of us of the plan He has for our lives because we are still here for them to hurt ;-) Things could have turned out very differently last July 1st, but I am so thankful they didn't. I'm thankful God covered us with His hand that day, kept us safe, and has seen each of us through every day since. The journey hasn't been easy and at times it's been down right tough, but His grace is simply amazing.
Some of you may be wondering about the title of us this blog. Well along with the verse came those words from Him one day when I was no doubt telling Him(very frustratedly I'm sure) about something that I wanted Him to fix. He very calmly said that's just another 18 wheeler in the road. See I'm not the same person I was when I climbed on the bus that day. When you live through one of those days that shake your world, your faith, the core of who you are, God does something(and He is very nice to remind you of it;-)) His words were a reminder of how He had taken us through something in ours eyes that was HUGE, so why shouldn't I trust Him to take care of this little thing? Maybe you have had one of those days that has rocked your world, maybe you even still have scars that remain from that day....He took care of you then, and will take you through this. Did He say it would be easy? Well no, but working out and developing physical muscles isn't easy either. We tend to focus on those little things so much, but it is in the journey that the muscles are developed. When we take our eyes off of the hurt and keep them where they are supposed to be, we get a little stronger every day. Life is tough and honestly it doesn't seem to be getting any easier.It's our choice what we do with those 18 wheelers(those things in our lives that our thrown in our path from the enemy to mess us up). They are life changing if we'll let Him work it out, otherwise we may find ourselves going around that same old mountain yet again.
It's just another 18 wheeler in the road I heard Him say one day,
so I closed my eyes to the day ahead and held on to His hand.
It wasn't what I wanted, but then again pain never is
I asked Him why and He just smiled and put His hand over it.
He took what He could away and helped me through the rest
Because sometimes you see it's the pain that makes us grow.
I know this is has been a longer than usual blog, but it's been a long 365 days. God has been amazing each step of the way. I truly believe He looked down the road that Thursday in July and saw what the enemy had thrown in our way. Then He moved as only He could and covered us. God never promised the road would be easy and that life would always go our way, but He did promise He'd be with us each step and that day He was. He took that 18 wheeler in the road, that thing the enemy wanted to mess us up with, and turned it around for His glory.
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