Where is your seed falling?

 

This section of scripture has been a discussion point this past weekend between me and God. I wasn't sure where He was headed when He kept talking about seed, but it aligned with a devotional I was working through. Stay with me for a minute and see if you can catch this. So many times we lose sight of what we bring to each day especially at the end of the day when we are exhausted and second guessing if anything good was accomplished. I'm fully aware of why I take my blood pressure pill in the afternoon, but that's a blog for another day. So many times the weight of the day is on us at the end of the day. There is good in moments throughout the day, hence the seed that you have planted. The enemy would LOVE nothing more than for you to see that seed falling on rocky soil or among the thorns. The goal of the enemy is to steal, kill, and destroy so it makes sense that he would be after the seed. Consider now if you can look back on your day (even if you can't see it) and trust that God let your seed fall on good soil. See the difference in the approach? Hear my heart I know how hard it is at the end of the day sometimes, ask anyone I talked to this afternoon. I knew somehow something had to shift because I was feeling worn on this Monday. That's when God reminded me of this set of verses and our discussion this weekend. We don't always know where our seed will land, but if we will trust the One who gave us the seed to plant and sow in the first place....that He really is working even when we can't see it, then we can rest knowing our seed was on good soil. We can rest knowing that God can take what we did with the day and make some good with it, even if we are standing back looking at going, was this really only Monday. Ya'll this time of the year is long, and the struggle to wear down and out is real. This is when we have to trust the One who said we can run with eagles and not grow weary. We have to see the day through His eyes even if it's not quite in view, knowing that He's holding the kaleidoscope and the picture is clear to Him. 

"There ain't nothing sweeter than to watch you make a way"

Umm...yeah it's been a few years since I have posted on this blog. Last year alone was enough for a book in addition to everything else. Anyway, God has continually brought the idea of writing a book to surface in my time with Him. So I figured I needed to get back to the blog and yes the book. I've never been one to want to share my story, honestly I'm usually the one who wants to fade into the background....but God keeps reminding me especially over the last year that He does something in us to do something through us. So here's to going through some of my prayer journal pages and sharing some of the God moments while I work on that book that God seems to believe I need to write. (How do you know it's God, cause it's so not something I would have come up with on my own. Honestly I've tried to forget about it.) This last season has taught me for as much as I think I have it together, His plans are more together than I can imagine. I don't always get it right or even know what He's doing, but there is nothing sweeter than to watch Him make a way. 

Song Title is from ❤️

Back at it...

 

This is probably the longest I've been away from writing on this blog. I've got lots of notes in various journals and honestly about five drafts sitting in here that I could never somehow manage to press publish on. My last blog post was right before the one years hit. Those are blogs for another day....

Over the last 18 months, I think we have all been trying to find our footing for one reason or another. While it looks like the storm is still raging outside (and it is, let's be honest...), the water is lapping at our feet, but we have a choice to make. Do we hop in the boat again and know that it is a safe place and we will make it to the other side or do we keep inching our way along on the water knowing if He said it, it is done? 

We can't get distracted by how the wind feels right now in the middle of what seems to be a never-ending rainstorm in our world. The other side is coming, He promised it. This is the time to dig in, stay close to Him, and listen for when He says to do. I know I spent a lot of time this summer just resting. Last school year was difficult for a myriad of reasons and I didn't realize how much my body needed it. We have got to keep some things in balance. There are going to be days when our feels are louder than we would like (lately it seems to be most days), but we have to stand on what He has promised. There have been several moments lately when the side effects of my long-term med seemed to be wanting to stick around and I was like God you said No weapon formed against me shall prosper, now these things have been around long enough I need a break. The word works when we do what He said to do....now I have a part to play in the process, but the side effects eased up when I got in alignment with what God had told me. It is so important to journal and write down for those moments what God has been pouring out to you, so you can recall them for such a time as this. 

I promise you if you will press in, you will find the hem of His garment. Don't quit when the crowd is bumping up against you and causing you to have anxious thoughts. The woman with the issue of blood had reached a point where enough was enough and she didn't let the crowd she pressed through stop her from what she was going after. If she had stopped after a few people bumped into her, she may never have reached the hem of the One she was seeking after. 

More blogs to come, I promise. God said it was time to get back to telling what He was pouring out, so I'm listening. 

When God connects some of the dots.....

As I'm writing this blog, there isn't a title just yet. God will have one by the time He lets me hit submit. Ya'll last week was rough. I knew it probably would be (most weeks after a break were), but it was heavy. I was able to discern what was going on, but trying to press through and staying in the Spirit...well let's just say I think my emotions were leading towards the end of the week.  I was a hot mess trying to sort out the message coming. I had seen a vision of what I knew God needed me to see, but I honestly didn't know what to do with it. I actually talked to my therapist about it for a good portion of the time. God knew that the dots were coming if I was patient to listen.  God knew what was going on in realms I couldn't see. (He always does and I've come too far with Him to doubt that now). 

Last week during the drive to work one day I saw a vision of a huge tree that had been uprooted and was laying on its side. The kind of tree that had the huge roots at the bottom but the ones you know that only storms can uproot. The hole it left was massive. It was such a visual of where I was at with a part of my journey. There was a part of something that happened over the last 51 weeks that still had a hole, it was still a wound that was taking its time to heal. Seeing the hole and the tree next to it, I knew enough that God was about to release something. You see I've seen roots before and knew that certain holes only God can fill. I knew God was stirring something, but like I said earlier my Spirit wasn't the loudest part of me last week.  Saturday I had one of my days....one where side effects were rather loud and present. I know enough on this journey that the side effects may come, but they won't take root in Jesus name. So I knew that I just had to press through. I don't talk about those days much and most people don't know I deal with some stuff still, because I don't like to give it a foothold. What the enemy threw at me 51 weeks ago, was covered and sealed by the blood, and the message is breaking through. I stay ever mindful that I don't want to lose sight of what God did despite the mess the enemy threw. If you are reading this and have no idea what I'm talking about, go back and re-read some of the blogs over the last year. 

I looked ahead of this coming week and had a spirit of dread, God broke that this morning. In my mind, I couldn't celebrate until later on in the journey and God was like really now daughter. You see I've already lived through what dreading certain days looks like. I can tell you stories of how long it took me to get through December 20th and July 1st. How long before I didn't get anxious on those days and could walk in them with a peace. God knew I knew how to walk that road, but walking through anniversary days redeemed from the start is a new season.  This morning I had a release, and a peace I can't explain just yet. I saw the tree again, but this time I was able to leave it in His hands. You see God knew the wound was still there, I honestly thought that healing would come in year 2, but I heard God say this morning Daughter, it's done. I didn't have to wait for that wound to start to heal, I had to release it into His hands and trust the healing was already done. God and I have one of those unique relationships where He knows I'm listening....and this morning He even went as far as to say and you are salty about this wound because you keep looking back (made me think of Lot's wife). Yes, Lord, I'm hearing you......The release was the key to healing. It was something between me and Him. It wasn't something I needed anyone else for, which has been quite a bit of this journey, but that's a blog for another day. So I walk into this week with a Spirit peace knowing that something has shifted, knowing that God is redeeming over the next season what the enemy tried to take away in the past season. 

I don't know where you are at today, but as I've said before God does. He cares about the details, He's gone before us and stands behind us ready to keep us moving forward. I don't understand why some things happen the way they do, that's more than a blog for another day. God is faithful though, hear me....He is faithful and continues to be faithful (even when it doesn't make sense to our natural mind and our emotions are all over the place). I encourage you today press in, tell Him about that hurt you are feeling...He gets it I promise. Then when He shows you what to do, do it. Walk it out even when it may feel heavy...knowing that even when you can't see it He's working, even when you can't feel it He's working. 

Stir it Up

God started writing this blog early this morning and I knew....this may be just a blog I write so I can re-read it later this week, but at the chance, it's for someone else too...I'm posting it.  This week has been a gift, a pause in the rush of the busy where yes I could have thrown myself into catching up on a growing to-do list, but my focus went elsewhere. God is shifting some things and I'm seeing connections of dots that had seemed isolated before this. If you are getting bits and pieces from God but not seeing how they connect, press into His presence. Time in His presence is the only way those answers will come. I'm not talking about the morning devotional time or that evening prayer time, I'm talking about letting Him set the timetable. We don't do that enough because of our schedules and that was something I treasured last year during the quarantine. I felt like this past week was a reminder of that......for in His presence truly is the fullness of joy. 

Let's get real for a minute, some days are easier than others. I think we could all say that regardless of circumstances. There are some days though when you have to fight your way through the mess that may be staring at you, but listen up Child of God.....fight. We don't wrestle with our flesh. The enemy is after purpose and our praise. Stand your ground and don't give him an inch. You have in you, what is needed to win the war. Just as David knew when he went up against Goliath that it wasn't the stones in his hand that was going to defeat the giant, but what he used to fling the stones at the giant.  

When you have seen God move, when you have spent that time in His presence....there are moments when you have to stir it up again to keep moving forward. When the enemy is pressing against you and screaming thoughts that you know don't line up with truth, sometimes you have to stir it up. If you are still reading at this point and are like what in the world is she talking about? There are times when you have to encourage yourself and stir up what you know is on the inside of you. I like to say "faith it till you make it". No not fake it, but faith it. Faith doesn't mean you can see where you are headed or even how it's going to turn out, but you take the steps knowing He's already covered the details and gone before you.  

Don't wait until you hear the taunts of your Goliath to start stirring it up. Keep it stirred up daily because the times we live in require it honestly.  You won't feel like it at times, but you are called for such a time as this. You don't know who is watching that needs to see you continuing on even when hurt should have paralyzed you. You don't know who needs to see you fight through because they will one day have to fight themselves. Apart from Him, we can't do anything, seriously.....if it weren't for His drive and function....we would walk around aimlessly shooting at things that we aren't supposed to aim at.  

It's nearing the one-year mark of a lot of things 2020 threw my way and I'm planning on writing out A LOT of blogs, not because I have anything to offer, but because we overcome by the word and our testimony. I've been leading a small group called The Space between the Mess and the Message and I feel like God is leading me to write about some of that in a couple of blogs as well. Not that I have anything too special to share, but it's just what I've learned over this past year on how to fight and testify.  

Have those scriptures that you stand on, those songs that take you to that place in Him ready for when you need to stir it up. It's taking the armor of God to a different level, but it's tangible and powerful. I have a playlist that I make each year for songs that take me to that place. 

Finish February out strong and press into purpose this week sweet readers!  I started writing the outline of a book last year and this week God gave me a timeline on it....so here's to focusing and getting that finished before 40.

"You are close like no other"

 

We've had a snow week and it was a much-needed break from the pressures that seem to accompany this time of the year. I wish I could tell you I'm all caught up with everything I was behind on when this week started, but I'm not. I am however rested and filled up in a way that I needed. Time alone and with really no place to go or schedule to fill allowed for lots of God discussions. God's been waiting to connect some dots for me, but He was waiting on me to get still enough to hear Him. There is a different level of listening that's required to hear some of those deep things, those things we have been seeking after and going after in His presence. Don't get me wrong, some days God and I have a good discussion in the shower, driving places, or just in quick moments here and there. There is something about the uninterrupted time in His presence that takes it to another level. 

I've had lots of time to reflect this week and am still humbled and in awe of just how much God has moved over the last 11 months. I can't believe it as I type this, it's almost been a year. Most people are talking about it's been a year battling COVID, for me this year has held a different kind of journey (mixed in with the COVID mess for sure). Some days my feelings want to question how and why things went the way they did, but then I catch a glimpse from His perspective and I'm humbled and in awe of how things went the way they did. He truly went before me and covered each step of the way (and still is).  

The lyrics of this song are powerful...."all my life you've been faithful.." "You've led me through the fire, you are close like no other". I can see so much parallel to the last 11 months in this song. Sometimes we don't understand the rain when it comes because we have lost sight of the seed we have in the ground. That whole revelation is probably a blog in itself to come later. 2020 offered a lot of rain and 2021 has started with rain for so many as well....but without the rain, the seed wouldn't have an opportunity to take root and grow. Keep perspective....I know it's not easy, trust there are still moments when I have to have a pep talk with myself and stir up the faith that I know is on the inside of me. Don't let the pressures of normal cause you to lose sight of what God is doing in you (and anticipate what He is setting up to do through you!) 

Walking out the healing process.....

 I know it's been a month since my first blog, but ya'll January was a wild time to be a teacher. Anyway, there have been lots of notes in my journals over this 2021 time period, but God's just now connecting some things for a blog post. (He's probably been connecting for a while, but I'm seeing it finally). 

This has the possibility to be a real and raw post.....I'm one month away from an anniversary day. I have three of them in my life now, but this one stands out a little different. For this one I finally learned how to fight, how to stand, and more importantly how to trust that He had already gone before me to prepare each and every detail. If you are new to the blog, take a look at some of my posts from April on last year. 

Yesterday I had a procedure in the process, the last one from what I'm being told. During this procedure, a lot of things started coming together. Sometimes God gives us our healing instantly or suddenly, and sometimes it's a process. It's also our responsibility to steward that healing well. In other words, take care of what God has done in you so He can do more through you. That's a blog for another day.....but yesterday I started thinking. The procedure yesterday wasn't one I had to do, and honestly, I almost talked myself out of it more than once. Yesterday though I saw God bringing things full circle. You see during 21 days I had asked Him for eyes to see as He sees. There are days when all I see our scars when I look in the mirror, and a couple of weeks ago as I was putting vitamin E on them God whispered so sweetly oil for the scars. Stay with me....sometimes things in the natural reflect things in the spiritual. We all have scars, life happens, people hurt us, they let us down, circumstances overwhelm us, the path that was supposed to go right all of a sudden seems to take you left. These moments happen and oftentimes they leave a wound in their place. In time that wound heals, but the scars are still left.......oh but there is oil to help those scars fade. You see over time, vitamin E oil helps scars fade away in the natural.....and over time oil from the Father's flow can help scars on the inside heal as well. It takes time though...We have to stay the course, walk in obedience, and not lose sight that the One who called us is Faithful and He will do it! 

I know it's not easy to walk in discipline, but just as we steward our money....I think 2020 has taught us all to steward our time as well. Let's not get caught up in wishing we were back in Egypt when the Jordan River stands before us. Let's not take a glance backward and see what we left behind....all the time risking being a pillar of salt. The plow we've been called to put our hands on doesn't work in reverse.  I felt like Jacob last night wrestling with God on some of this, but I was determined not to leave without a word....a connection of some of those pieces that I so desperately needed to see movement on. 

I'm determined more than ever to stay faithful to walk in what He's called me to do...

More blogs are coming, I promise (and I know I say that every time...lol) 

By the way, if you haven't heard the podcast episode that posted last month on Sarah Johson's In Awe Series, check it out here: http://inawetorise.com/2021/01/episode-106-in-awe-of-melissa-mann-overcomer-series/