Midnight Moments

The lessons from the last 48 hours are enough to fill multiple posts.... but not yet

God's shifting things in place. the layers He has pulled back...ouch but wow. Last week at Overflow was life changing. God poured in and seeds were sown that are starting to take root this week. I feel the push...but as much as my flesh has wanted to respond He has been louder. Crumbs from yesterday are no longer going to fill this soul of mine. I have a place at the table of the King and a portion He has served up just for me. You see I have lived life way too long thinking the crumbs were my portion. Hear my heart...the enemy knows you have a seat at the table... and he is willing to do whatever he can to keep you from sitting in it. (Busyness, people pleasing, insecurity etc.) Take what is yours Child of God...God's got your portion ready for you to feast on. Side note...you will never feel good enough or worthy enough to sit at the table. It has nothing to do with you...He pulled the chair out and invited you to the table because of what He did for you. It's time to join in His feast that fills...

I have been thinking about the parable of the sower over the last two days. When God sows a seed, a word or two...the enemy will do what he can to keep that seed from taking root. Trust God through process...press in...and while it may feel dark ..He's just covering the seed for protection.

I'm thankful for what God did last week at Overflow... I'm thankful for the shift in seasons that's coming.. and the purpose and confidence that He poured out last week.

When the anointing finally becomes louder than the insecurity.....🙌

Won't He do it...

Okay I'm just gonna be honest...God and I have had some serious heart to hearts over the last couple of weeks, a lot just this week. I believe I asked Him more than once if I missed Him somewhere ...cause I was on the verge of burn out. Honestly in some areas of my walk, I was burned out. I was poured out and desperate for Him to pour back in. I tend to give and give and give....and I've learned (the hard way) that if we aren't walking in the OverFlow...giving this much will leave us empty. We've got to be careful to give out of the overflow of what God is pouring in so that we can stay in His flow. Sometimes we have to get desperate for that revelation....It's not something that will even make sense to others if they have never reached that point of desperation. Hear my heart...desperate is not a bad place as long as you let it take you to His lap.

 I told God in my time with Him I needed a word. He was faithful to answer with verses and even a vision or two. I knew God was talking, but I was still missing the connection....so I kept pushing through knowing there had to be a shift soon. I've learned in the last couple of years in my journey with Him that when the struggle is like this, there is a lesson, a nugget, a something coming. Why do I know that because God has proven it time and time again? I may have a moment or two where I forget that He has this....but He's good to remind me. (Sometimes it's a reminder in the natural aka my sciatic that flairs up. My sciatic pain is an amazing reminder that God has a plan for my good, that He has a purpose and that what the enemy meant for evil God meant for good. God's promised me healing in that area...and every time the pain comes up in the natural I remind the enemy of that. One day this Jesus girl will be running when the healing comes, but that's a blog for another day. It's part of my testimony that I probably don't share enough. Actually I've got to get better about sharing more about what God's done in my life and just being transparent on here more. We overcome by the power of our testimony and too many times we don't share our testimonies for various reasons (we don't feel like anyone will care, we don't feel like we have one to share, or we don't feel free to share since we are still in the struggle stage). All of those are lies from the enemy to keep you insecure of who God made you to be and who He has called you to be. How do I know...been there done that...and to quote a friend tonight #imoverit

I'm over caring what others think to the point that I keep my mouth shut when God says open it, that I hide in a box or an area that keeps me from being who God has called me to be. I realized about this time last year that there was an anointing given out the day we all walked off the bus. An anointing that was for more than just the ones that had a platform, but for everyone because God had ordered steps and knew who would be where. God doesn't just order steps for one moment in your life as a Child of His and then quit. Too many times we let the opinions of others become louder than the dreams and visions God has place don the inside of us. God didn't say to follow the steps of others (or to be the slinky that gets stuck as my object lesson in Sunday School was this morning). He said to follow the steps He has laid out for you. He knows how far apart they are and how far you can stretch to meet them. He knows there are going to be days when you feel like you aren't making a difference, but He knows that if you will just hang on, He's going to remind you He has you right where He needs you. Let's get real...sometimes we have to encourage ourselves...in other words we have to do those things that we know are going to pour into our tanks. That song that always gets right to the heart of you..that church that always speaks into your life...we have to take time to pour into our tanks and we have to be intentional about it...period. God will put in our lives the people we need to intercede, to pull us along, to encourage us, to keep us focused on who He has made us to be....those are the people that need to speak in your life. When you know you have a calling, an anointing...pay attention to the words you take to heart...for words in the heart grow into roots that will bloom at some point. Blooms of insecurity or security, blooms of confidence in Him or of lack/discouragement, blooms of trust or blooms of doubt (see where I'm headed...).

You may be reading this going where in the world is this coming from...it's coming from a heart that has been desperate for a shift all weekend. A heart that needed God to make some connections together so she could let some things go (again). A heart that needed her Heavenly Daddy...just to remind her I'm listening. What you read on the blogs are more than I share in person (especially in Alabama), I'm still working on that comfort zone.....I have ones I know who will pray and who will love me regardless of what I pour out to them(and believe me they have heard it all). Sometimes we keep asking God for something He's given us....it may not be in the form we asked Him, but it's what we need. I'm thankful for friends who are like family who pray with every text and every message...and who speak life back into me when I can't speak it for myself at the moment. I'm not always going to be down at the altar (kind of hard when you are the words media person), but that doesn't mean I'm not praying and interceding as I click. I digress... my point in all of that was my heart wanted to make it to the altar today (that will surprise some of you reading this...). I carried out of church what I carried in.....and God knew and I knew it was starting to get heavy. So I put on Restoring Hope tonight.....listen when God uses a sermon preached by a man of God who is also a friend that speaks to so much...you know it's a God word and on time at that. When He uses the verse that God has given you for your life verse (and that you used as your Sunday School lesson in the morning), you know God heard you...more than that when the vision that God gave you of where you were at two weeks ago...that hasn't made sense is a visual he uses....you have a shouting fit as you cry your way through to a release, a shift because God knew what you needed and when.

Look out devil...this Jesus girl is armed and ready. The battle has already been won...#imoverit

Running the race...

I saw this on FB last night and honestly it could not have come at a more perfect time. This was the first full week of school and to say I've been running at a fast pace would be an understatement. I don't think anyone outside of education truly realizes what we do and how much we pour out and into what God has called us to do. Focus is my word for the year....It's something I've struggled with for the last couple of years because I end up doing more than I should and end up losing sight of what God has truly called me to do. My race to run is my race to run. So many times we think that our race will make sense to others, but sometimes only we know what the trainer has told us to handle that specific turn or hurdle. God never called us to run the race that He called others to run, but to run the race He set out for us. God also never called us to run the race others have set out for us to run. This is an area that can easily overwhelm us if we aren't careful. Comparison is a trap the enemy uses to keep us distracted from who God has called us to be and what God has called us to do. Oh if we could just grab a hold of the truth...God made us an original, a unique masterpiece designed to do what only He planned for us to do. Someone else can try to run your race just as you can try to run someone else's, but in the end God's purpose and plan will always prevail. He gives grace and strength, and a peace when we run the race He has called us to run. Let's let go of our race making sense to others as well....there will be people in your life that God has placed in for a reason to speak into your life, to help propel you forward, and to pull you out when you get "stuck". He knows what you need and who you need....trust Him to order your steps and quit trying to put pieces into a puzzle that He created (not you).

I've been watching the Olympics this week and the focus these athletes have is pretty incredible. They know why they are there, they have a sense of purpose, and they know who they are. They don't let the distractions of their surroundings cause them to lose focus.  I've also noticed they each have their own unique twist, spin, and moves as they compete as well. They know what their trainer, their coach has told them to do...and they do it and leave the details to the coach.  God's called us to run our race, to focus on what He has called us to do and not on the distractions around us. Life can keep us busy if we let it, but there is a difference between busy and fruitful. When I'm in my sweet spot and serving from the overflow of what God has poured in, I know what it means to run and not grow weary. When I'm running close to empty myself, weary happens while I run. The enemy likes empty.....we have to make the effort to keep our tanks full. God will fill us up if we are ready to sit still long enough with hands open in surrender and lids off (see previous blog).  God gets what He wants...get still when He says to...or things in the natural may lead to a time of getting still. I have had many moments of headaches and not feeling great moments that lead to a time of getting still, but He knew what I needed. God orders our steps, He has the details under control....our part is to step and trust.

This above picture is my prayer this year....God I want to run at your pace, I want to run and not grow weary and run from your Flow. I know what it's like to run with Him and to run on my own and I'm done with my own. My heart is huge to a fault some may say, but that's not for me to defend anymore. At some point we have to let go of everything but what God has said to hold on to. Let that sink in...because often times we hold on to what we think God wants us to hold on to when in reality God said to let go of that a long time ago. Let us run the race He has called us to and keeping pace with Him and not worrying about anyone else around us. For when we run that race and keep His plan in focus, things that used to be our focus grow strangely dim. God orders our steps to put us in the path of those He has called us to minister to and be His hands and Feet to.

My purpose is to live His purpose...to live for an audience of One knowing that the stage has already been set, the script already been written, and the parts already assigned. God directs the steps and He hasn't called for the curtain to go down yet. Let's live with purpose as we run the race that He called us to run letting go of what has entangled us before knowing that our eyes are fixed on Him as we run.

#Preachingtomyself (Heart sharing post)

What if God answered our prayers exactly how we prayed for them? Think about that for a minute...would we really have what we are asking for if we knew what His better and best for us was? I can think of numerous times that I have asked God for something (more than once...) only to realize He has answered with something better. Why do we keep asking God for the fish bowl when He has said the ocean was ours to have? (The fish bowl vs. ocean conversation with God and I happen more than it should...#learningtobecontent)

I've been thinking a lot this week. I can't say that's a great thing....because my anxiety has been at a high level. I sent a friend a text Sunday and said if I didn't know God had this and was in the details my anxiety could have gotten the better of me. Oh how the enemy knows what a threat we are...because it's been a shouting match this week...between what I feel and what I know. If I can be transparent for just a minute.....having freedom and victory from something doesn't mean the struggle isn't there at times. It's one thing to be in bondage to something, it's another to feel the pull and know you aren't going backwards because God's got you forward bound. Leaving something in God's hands doesn't mean the enemy won't ever dangle it in front of you again, it's a choice to keep moving forward...knowing that God has greater things ahead of you. An example...grief. There will always be days of struggle (hello who ever said it was #nationalsistersday or #nationalsiblingday has never lost a sibling), but it doesn't have me bound. It's not a cloud hovering that I'm expecting rain to fall out of at any minute. It's sunshine and if there is a cloud it's got manna in it..but that's a blog for another day. Anxiety is not something that binds me anymore...because I've learned to speak truth to it. It doesn't mean that there are not days when I have to scream at it, but it's not a cloud of fear. It's hard to explain if you aren't on the other side of something...but so many times the enemy wants us to think that having a moment of struggle means we are falling backwards. This isn't always the case. God's mercies are new every morning period. You can't add to or take away from the truth of that. God never said walking in freedom would mean walking alone, He's there always.

The last 24 hours have made me think about purpose. I've asked God this week if I missed Him, I've asked Him if the season was up, and I've asked Him more than once for help. Last night I came home from a day that had worn me out mentally and emotionally. I ate supper but it was going through the motions...all I wanted was some time in my spot with Him. I knew that the things that were weighing down my heart last night weren't going to get any lighter until I talked to Him about them. How many times do we keep thinking about those things that weigh us down when God says come tell me about them? Being desperate for God to do something in an area...means you have finally taken your hands off, pulled yourself out of the picture (and closed your mouth about it). How hungry are we for revival in our lands that we are willing to lay aside those things that easily entangle us? The things the enemy is using to distract us from our higher purpose. How desperate are we for God to move among us that we are like the lame man by the pool that we are willing to do whatever we can to pull ourselves to the water that is stirring? God knew where that man was (and no I'm not talking about physical location). God knew that the man was more concerned with making an excuse than getting to His miracle. (Ouch...how many times do we delay our own miracles because of our words? God forgive me...) Motions don't make a difference...they keep you on the fence. Service and Busyness are not synonyms.....the difference is the heart condition of the one doing. Make the moments count and don't waste time counting the moments. Time is precious...and God has you planted where He purposed for you to bloom this season. Don't question the Master Planter. He alone knows when the seasons are going to change.

God never called you to do it solo. Jesus went around with a group of 12, but three knew His heart. Walls are not from God.....build an altar where the wall fell so you can remind the enemy it's down and then move on. When I look back over the last almost 20 years.....I can't help put see the footprints of how He has ordered my steps through it all. The steps don't all make sense but as much as I may feel my life should be going one way, He alone knows the way I should take. Tonight God reminded me of the verse that is before the often quoted I can do all things through Him who strengthens me. Verse 12 talks about I've learned to the secret of being content .....Oh how sweet it is..when God speaks that word you need to your Spirit. That's the season I'm in....learning the secret of being content. Content to know greater things are still to come...that there is an anointing I haven't even tapped into yet living on the inside of me, that there is a purpose that God is shifting into place even as I type this blog. It's a season of learning to be content...because I know that He knows just what I need....and I choose to trust Him (and not what I feel).

Different kind of blog, but it's been a different kind of week already...

When your give out is burned out, choose to let God show out.

When your give out is burned out, choose to let God show out.

God never promised we wouldn't feel overwhelmed, stressed, or frustrated. He never said we wouldn't have days when we felt like the world was coming against us as it seemed like nothing was going right. He never said we would always feel like putting a smile on our face. God didn't say there wouldn't be times of anxiety that made you just want to go to bed for awhile and not "people" for a bit. He never said we wouldn't have moments where we felt weighed down with "stuff". When we enter into a relationship with God, we start out on a journey that is a walk of process that leads to progress. God did say He would never leave us or forsake us (in other words He ain't going anywhere despite how we feel).(See Deuteronomy 31:6-8) God did say we may feel hard pressed on every side, but wouldn't be destroyed. (See 2 Corinthians 4:8-12). God did say that when you pass through the waters, He's passing too...and the rivers won't overwhelm you. (See Isaiah 43:2) God knew there would be moments that we would feel our way through, but He offered three words as an answer...Come to Me (Matthew 11:28-30) Are you starting to see where I'm headed? He didn't promise an easy road, but when He said come to me..it's because He already knows the road ahead and how to get around or over every bump, pothole, and turn. The traffic jams, construction zones, and closed lanes haven't caught Him off guard. There is a point in our walk with Him where we reach desperation. Desperate for Him to sweep in and grab us up and do what He does best. Desperate for Him to move in and do something...simply desperate for Him. There is a shifting that happens when you get to that point....

The enemy sees the fire on the inside of you and knows it's going to burn him. The enemy sees the power on the inside of you and knows it's going to squash him. The enemy sees the truth on the inside of you and knows its going to silence him. That my sweet reader is why you are a threat to him. That's why he seeks to cover that fire up through busyness, distractions, and feelings. That's why he seeks to switch your power off through discouragement, doubt, and defeat. That's why he seeks to to be louder than the truth on the inside of you through whispers of stress, fear, anxiety, and insecurity. There is a battle raging in realms we can't see....as Christians we are called to be the army that rises up and shows up for the call. We aren't called to let the enemy switch the power off, silence the truth, or cover our fires. We are called to be His light, His voice, and to show His power to those we come in contact with. He didn't say it would be easy, but He said we could do all things through Him. Choice is ours....feelings will always be there and yes there will be a lot of days when they are screaming, but the truth is God loves us (even our feelings), and He knew about those feelings even before you were born. Choose to let Him be louder than what you feel....it's freedom.

A friend preached a sermon a week or so ago about truth and emotions that has been taking root in my life since then. There have been many, many, many moments over the last two weeks when my feelings have felt overwhelmed, stressed, and frustrated. Moments when I wanted to cry simply because I felt defeated because I was just me. Moments when I wanted to give up or quit because the battle seemed like too big for me to handle. He never said those moments wouldn't happen...it's what you do in those moments that make the difference of what takes root. It's choosing to trust that He has my steps ordered so He knows how the details work out...I just have to step where He says step. It's choosing to trust that time with Him makes the rest of the list get finished. It's choosing to trust that when it seems like it's just you...It's not,  because He's there too. It's choosing to trust that He gets it and will take care of the details. It's choosing to trust His truth...because He's never failed me yet. It's choosing to trust that His calling is irrevocable and He has me right where He wants me (even if I can't always see it). It's choosing to trust that even though I can't swim in the natural, I can swim in the spiritual deep.

I don't know how your week has gone, but He does. I have had moments this week where my give out was gave out and burned out. He knew though...because with each moment I'd find myself crawling back up to His lap...with tears and the "I'm done" words and He would breathe life back into this heart of mine. He would fan the flame on the inside so I could keep doing what I do. He knows what we need just when we need it....trust Him in those moments and remember He loves you more than you can ever imagine!