Thursday Thoughts

This blog has been forming since midnight this morning...I would have written it then, but I needed some time to process what all God was speaking in during my war time with Him. I needed a word, I was at a point where I knew I was smack dab up against a wall again and I wasn't moving till I got the word over, through, or I'll move it. God pulled back some layers last night and started asking the tough questions, I can't say I was surprised...I asked Him to. God's always faithful to give us the word we need to keep doing what He has called us to do. It's up to us with what we do with that word. For me I've been asking for a couple of requests for months now. Sometimes if it seems God's not answering, it's because He's already answered and is waiting on us for our part. He's not going to drag us kicking and screaming to the revelation, but eventually that neon sign becomes so bright you can't ignore it anymore. God knows what is draining our time and our energy. He knows what we are involved in that needs to be pruned so that the fruit He has planned for us can be planted. If we keep tending to dead branches, we will never have any time or focus to put on the branches that are ready to be connected to the vine. I asked God last night why I didn't notice this one thing until just recently.....I'm so visual He had to show me a picture. Sometimes God has that thing covered for a season, the drains aren't a drain if someone is covering the hole. Let that sink in.....

Martha time has it's purpose, but we can become so consumed with being Martha that we forget to stop and spend time being Mary. He doesn't want us to be focused on spending time doing for Him that we forget to spend time with Him. If we will be with Him we will be filled to do life with Him. We can become so stuck on doing for Him that we don't spend enough time with Him. The more He wants to pour in, the more we must sit with Him period. The deeper we go with Him, the more time we will need Him to pour in through His word, through prayer time, through songs, and through those friends that God has placed in our paths to be the fan to our flame. Don't neglect things that fan your flame...it leads to a worn and weary and let's be honest that's not how God wants us to be. He needs us to take the time we need to pour into ourselves, to keep our flames fanned...so that we can fan the flames of the people He has put in our path. I've learned this lesson the hard way....when I carry things for too long, it begins to weigh me down...when my give out is gave out and on it's way to burn out...my flame is on it's way to a flicker. If I let those go on too long...it wears at me and eventually wears me down. Sometimes we just need someone to come along side and say Hey I'm praying for you. The enemy wants us to "feel" alone in the battle we are pushing through. This life was never meant to live alone....we need to pay attention to those who God has placed in our path. The enemy seeks to wear out the saints of God.....let's not let Him. We will all have seasons of weariness and worn out.....it's going to happen as God refines us to rely on those times for His strength. As Christians we have got to do better at looking outside of our cliques and circles (yep they exist #beinghonest), to those in our daily walks....and coming along side of them to be that Aaron and Hur when they are tired. We are all going to have battles to fight and yes God is fighting them for us, but in the natural we are going to to get tired....(especially those of us who don't pay attention to our limitations and let our give outs become gave out). Spiritual warfare is real and it's here.....it's time to join together and take care of the people God has placed in our lives.


So back to the wall I knew I had hit again last night....the fumes were real and the tank was past empty. God whispered last night(well midnight), that the wall was Him....because this going around the same particular mountain was over. God has brought me too far in the last six years for me to let the enemy slip back in through motions and "good works". This tired is the enemy's attempt to steal my focus....I have a purpose and a calling to do each and every day. I have flames that are looking for me to fan them period. Then God used a Sunday School lesson I taught a couple of weeks ago to speak into the season I've been walking in.....it's pruning time. (ouch)....God's faithful to come through and take care of cutting them off of your tree, but you have to clear them away. Until you clear them away, you'll keep stepping around and through those things that may easily entangle you...if it's not bearing God fruit..you have choices to make. Just as there are blooms that God doesn't want to see bloomed in your life, there are fruits that He doesn't want to see produced either....let that sink in. (frustration and exhaustion are not God fruits....)

One last thought....I read this quote last week and I've been chewing on it ever since. It is possible to be in a room full of people and feel alone. Proximity and activity don't always equal connectivity. It's possible to be doing somewhere and never feel like you can be there. There is more to this in a blog to come, but God's still writing it. I've lived way too much of life in a box designed by other people. It's a box with walls that God didn't design and I've finally reached the frustration point where I've got to make some changes. There is God fruit that needs to be nurtured and other fruit/branches that need to be laid at the feet of the Only One who knows what to do with them. I know I'm nothing without Him....but when you can finally look and see the you He sees......whew! That's enough to make this Jesus girl shout and take a run

Different kind of blog tonight....but it's been that kind of week. God's moving and the enemy is distracting. I'm thankful for tired moments that lead me to His lap.....I'm thankful for weary moments that He uses to remind me He's just getting started. I'm thankful for worn tears that He uses to remind me of His purpose. I'm thankful for ministry scars that remind me that God's anointing will always cover and protect. I'm thankful for a flicker that He uses to remind me that what He has lit will never be extinguished. I'm thankful for moments where I feel like nothing that God uses to remind me He is everything. The battle is real, but the victory is bigger. Is your focus on the Goliath in front of you or the God within you? Quit trying to put on other's armor, pick up your stones covered in truth, and march on......Don't rely on whether you feel like it or not, rely on the truth that the One who has called you is Faithful and He will do it! The fields are ripe...and it's harvest time! 

Thoughts this Sunday...

Out of the boat faith doesn't mean you can always see where you are going, but you know who you are walking towards. It doesn't mean that you don't feel the waves that are beneath your feet, but you trust the One that said get out of the boat and come to me. Comfort zones are found inside the boat, where sleep is present and talk is even more present. Out of the boat is where that time spent with Him starts taking action. It's where you start walking out what He's poured in and knowing that what He promised He will keep. It's where you start letting Him refine and prune despite the pain that is felt. It's where you start realizing that who you are to Him is all that really matters. It's who you are to Him that dictates who you are, believe that and the confidence you have to walk forward will surprise even you. So often we focus on the lack of confidence that we have in ourselves when all the while He is smiling because the moment when you finally realize you can't do anything, is when you realize He can do everything.  Reality check...it's often times not going to "feel" right, but feeling is not truth. Feeling says I'm worn and tired of giving, that my give out is gave out, but truth says Give and it will be given to you...pressed down and shaken together until it overflows. So yes you may feel worn, tired, and on the verge of burn out .....but if you are where God has placed you for this season of life, where He has called you to pour out, then trust Him to pour back into you. So many times we feel ourselves nearing empty and instead of waiting to find the right station to fill up in, we pull into the nearest station hoping to be able to fill up and avoid the rush. This past weekend I waited in a line to get gas(mind you this was in the third gas station I had passed). No I wasn't a part of the gas shortage panic that others were taking part in, I legitimately needed to fill up (the light was on and there were less than 45 miles to empty). So I pulled in not where I normally fill up at, because I wasn't sure where I usually went would have gas. (Passing the lines at some of the stations made me slightly nervous). How many times do we do that though in the spiritual? We fill up wherever we can and wonder why we still feel empty. Oh the tank may say it's full, but did we fill up at His station or the one most convenient for us? Empty can still feel empty even when it should be full until we let God do the filling. When we wait on God to fill us up, we will do as it says in Isaiah...we will run and not grow weary, we will walk and not faint, and we will find a strength that only comes from His filling. 

Feeling fear or nervous about something can keep you distracted from doing what He has called you to do for this thing. When you focus on feelings, it's hard to focus on the battle that needs to be fought in the spiritual. When you focus on feelings, it's easy to feel like you are walking this battle alone....the enemy loves the mirage of isolation. God's got angels around you sweet reader...so alone has never even crossed His mind. There is a strengthening that comes when you finally surrender to the truth that He's got you, always had you, and always will have you. The process of strengthen means you are going to run faster and farther in the next leg of the journey. It's not always going to feel easy, in fact it may never....but you know what He's called you to do...so do it. God said to lean not unto your own understanding...in other words without revelation from Him, it's not going to make sense. Hear my heart for a minute...time with Him is the only way to get His perspective. It means taking off your glasses in exchange for His. It means taking off what other people have handed you to see in exchange for what He has handed you to look at. It's not going to make sense, but there is a peace that comes when God starts speaking in to that specific request you have made. There is a peace when you are desperate for Him just to whisper to you. Sometimes you don't need others to speak in words of wisdom, but just to say they are praying for you as you listen to Him. So many times we seek out someone to tell us the answer, when God is seeking to be that answer. 

As hard as it is to see, God knows what we need. Even requests that we may see as ones we think He should answer, He knows what is best. Don't ever forget that He sees you walking out of the boat, so why would He answer what will keep you inside the boat.

There is a shift coming again...I wish I could say it meant answers, but it's a season of trust despite feeling. Trusting the One who has never let me down yet to continue what He's always been faithful at doing. This coming week the seasons change...according to the calendar it will be Fall even though it may not feel like it most places. Sometimes the natural reflects the spiritual. Seasons may be changing for you...it may not feel like it, but God sees the calendar and the timetable you can't see. God sees what He has planned and despite how it feels right now, He is working this all out for your good. Just because it feels like He's late, hold on.....He's still bringing it all into focus so that when He knows you are ready you will be able to see what He has planned for you all along. 

Take is a verb

I knew a blog was brewing soon, but only God knew the timing. Only God knew that I would wake up from my nap ready to write, with a word that seemed to be burning to come out through the keyboards. Last night I was reading in Psalms and I almost had a shouting fit in chapter 18. Every verse seemed to hit almost every feeling and every thought over the last couple of weeks. Thoughts that were beginning to take root until I took the time to let God put a stop to that. The last few weeks have been a battle, a battle God knew was coming because He not only knows my purpose, but He knows the plan He has for me. A battle that didn't take Him by surprise and for that, I could take a shouting run! God doesn't waste a moment, He has a plan for each frustration, each moment of stress and each thought. It's how much we let Him work His plan in us, that determines the length of the plan. So many times we want to run from what God is using to strengthen us for the next chapter of our journey. Callings are not walked out by sitting and waiting on some divine revelation to smack you upside the head. Honestly most of the revelation I've had lately has been in those quiet moments when I was so desperate for God to show up....but hear my heart when I say the revelation wasn't always easy to hear. It was what I needed, but I can't say it's always been what I wanted. Those are blogs for another day....

There was a word in verse 30 that jumped out at me last night. Verse 30 says he shields all who take refuge in Him. God got my attention with the word take last night. Take is a verb, it's a choice, an action that we have to do in order for it to be completed. That thought that came into your mind that stressed you out or caused you frustration, is it going to be captive in your hands or in His. That moment when you wanted to respond in the flesh because you were angry, but you took a minute to take a breath instead. Take is a choice, when we have that day that leaves us feeling discouraged or maybe not worth enough to make a difference, what are we going to do ? Are we going to stay put in those thoughts allowing them to grow...or are we going to take ourselves to the lap of the only One who understands? The One who knows you better than you know yourself. Think for a minute...He knows what makes you frustrated, what causes you to feel stress, and what discourages you. He knows what seeds of doubt tend to find their way in and He can see them taking root before we can. He knows our weaknesses and oh sweet readers He knows those spots that make us feel insecure. You know the ones I'm talking about, the ones that make you doubt your ability, your calling, your worth, your who and even your do! He knows about those feelings that you keep to yourself even with that smile on your face. God knows....and His word says more than once He's got His children covered.

Take is a choice, it's a verb that requires action on our part. Finding yourself feeling drained by what life has thrown at you, frustrated with what the world has handed you in a package labeled purpose, take refuge in the One who can shield you. Walk yourself to His lap, find that place where you know He's met you before and spill it. He can handle it I promise. Take yourself to the place where you can find refuge. It doesn't mean you may not still feel the rain blowing in or get drenched running to His lap, but it means He will keep you safe in Him.