Is your Lid off?

In my prayer time last night I was praying about something...and asked Him to pour it out for this certain request. I stopped as soon as I said it...and listened for a minute. He whispered I am...but their lids are still on. God's word is truth...and truth says In the last days I will pour out my Spirit...let that sink in for a minute. We are living in the last days...if you don't realize it, look around you. Signs of the times are EVERYWHERE. God's pouring out His Spirit for those that are in the receiving mode....

Picture holding a big bag of candy and you are getting ready to share it. (Could be Skittles, M & M's etc.) As you are pouring it out to the hands ready to receive you are able to fill their hands with this sweet treat until you get to the hand that isn't fully open. You try to pour it into their hands, but it's difficult to get that treat into the hands of the one not ready to receive even though you are pouring.

Sweet reader hear my heart for a minute.....there are a lot of things that can keep your hand closed, your lid on. It could be the voice of others, the voice of yourself (i.e. emotions, feelings), situations, limitations, fear, anxiety, depression....anything the enemy can use to keep you in bondage (i.e. lid on, closed fist). If the enemy can keep your lid on, he can keep you from receiving what the Creator of the Universe, the One who knows you better than you know yourself is pouring out....God wants to pour it out so that you can be so full of all that He has for you...that you are Overflowing, stepping in the grace and the power that He said was yours on the day He breathed life into you.

God knows that you can't take the lid off by yourself...it's going to take Him. Sometimes God's been working on the lid coming off, but we have had our hands on it, holding it down. There is a power and a freedom bubbling up on the inside of you Child of God. Don't hold the lid on thinking you are doing yourself a favor. Let it go...and let freedom be what you walk in. God's shifting things even now ...move as He moves. It's not going to be easy..He never said it would, but there is a point where the lid staying on makes you miserable/uncomfortable enough that you will throw your hands up in surrender to the freedom that fills.

What are you waiting for? What are you allowing to hold you back from the freedom God died for you to have? Freedom doesn't mean easy, freedom means knowing the One who took all of the details and the pain on the Cross..has it all under control.

Reflection time...(aka me for a minute)

"There's an anchor for my soul...I can say it is well..."

That line of lyric has been in my spirit since I woke up from my Sunday nap. Summer ends today for me...work is tomorrow and back to a routine. Thinking back over this incredibly fast summer has made me sad in a way. I look back on that list of things I set out to accomplish this summer...and well the list is still there(longer, but there). I look back over the weeks...and I can tell you what I did each and every week...I didn't waste the time, but as I sit here and reflect...did I make the most of every moment....did I leave my mark on the day or did I just walk through it? Did the day leave a mark on me...or did I just go through the motions? Time goes by so fast.....it may feel like the moment you are in is going to take forever, but hold on...it's going to go by quicker than you think. Are we making moments that turn into memories or moments that turn into mysteries?

Our feelings do not dictate if it's well. They may scream that it's not....but I have learned not to trust in feelings. My feelings are not my friends most days....they speak to the situation, the what if's, the what could have been, should have been , or was. Our natural may feel uncomfortable, but our spiritual can be at peace. The focus then turns into which one are we going to listen to.....one leads to being focused on what God's called you to do and that alone. The other leads you to be focused on what everyone else wants you to do. The one you choose to listen to will grow.....because you feed it with focus and time.

Trust means taking a step when you can't see where you are stepping. Trust means not always knowing how the plan will look, how it will go, or even when it will happen. Trust means not exactly knowing what is going to happen. Trust means knowing that the One who put you together chromosome by chromosome knows exactly the steps you should take. Trust means knowing that the One who spoke life into you from the beginning...will continue to do it for you (your part is to listen)...

God knows our inner thoughts and those requests that only He has heard. He knows the ones we speak out loud in our prayer time with Him...and the ones that Our Spirit speaks to Him. God loves us like He does because of who He is.....He loves us because we are His and to Him that is what matters. He loves us enough to speak truth to our hearts even after midnight from a verse that lead to another verse. Truth that jumped off of the pages as the verse to hold on to knowing He knows (the song playing was "I won't go back"...which I fully believe was Him as well). Only He knew what I needed spoke in....

Back to the lyric above....there is an anchor for my soul...and it's truth. God's truth....period. Truth that says Be still and know that I am God....(and when you do...He shows up in the prayer room like only He can). Truth that says I'm faithful and will do it...(and when He does...He reminds you of how far He's brought you and He isn't stopping yet...) Truth that says I will give you the desires of your heart....(Only God knows when some of those will be answered...but He reminds me of this through moments spent with friends who speak life...which waters the dry parts of you) Truth that says being confident of this very thing....(and He reminds you, confidence is found in what He can do...not what You can do) . The anchor keeps you steady and still...even when it may feel like the boat is rocking about you.

Oh sweet reader...if I could open up my heart and share it with you as a visual I would. In the last week I have had a mixture and range of feelings from smack dab in His presence to feeling overwhelmed and anxious. I've had the moments of I can't do anything to the moments of You can do everything God. I've had the moments of "Not enough" to the moments of "You are enough..". There is a shift that happens when you move from what you want to what He knows you need. I don't understand it....believe me there are times I wish I did, but I choose to trust in what I can't understand knowing He understands. My desire is for His voice to be louder than all of the rest...it takes choice for that to happen, but God has proven Himself faithful time and time again....and He's not finished yet!

"...because You know just what we need before we say a word"

Reality check for a minute...I pay more attention to the gas light on my car then I do the gas light for my own self.....The meme that has been going around Facebook about you can't pour from an empty cup, is so true! You have to take in in order to give out. What used to fill you up may not be what fills you now (truly fills you)....pay attention to those things that fill that inner tank up for you. Is it a visit with a good friend? Is it shopping? Is it a certain dessert? Is it time spent with the One that knows you the best? There are things that fill our natural tanks....and things that fill our spiritual tanks. There is a difference, but that's a blog for another day.

God knew where my tank was at from the last couple of weeks. He knew the light was past on and the fumes were real....(whether I wanted to admit or not...lol). He knew I was close to putting a wall back up and well that wasn't a part of His plan.

36 hours in a place that allows me to be me. Not the me others dictate or request but the me that He made me to be....36 hours that restored some moisture to this dry soul.....He knows what we need and even we don't see that He's answering our requests...He has something even better in mind. God thank you for ordering steps, for knowing when we need you to step in and rain down....and for providing water for our thirsty souls. Thank you for being in control of my tank...and knowing when I needed to pull into the station for a fill up.

Are you trying to fill up your tank with what you think you need or are you letting Him fill your tank up with what He knows you need?

Mountains, Moments, and Him...

She stood looking up at the mountain not sure she could climb it again. Her muscles felt tight, her knees were knocking, and her mind started to convince her she couldn't climb it....that it would be easier just to go around instead of over. Oh but then she got still for a minute.....and something rose up on the inside of her. There was a strength and a determination rising up that was stronger than what her natural was feeling. A strength that reminded of her mountains she had already climbed, mountains she had already seen moved....and the mountains that stood in front of her didn't seem so high. She stood looking at again knowing what she had to do....but whispering to herself...just a push to get going please. Then she felt it.....and with tears and a new resolve she got back to climbing. Yes she knew she couldn't do it within herself, but the God that had climbed every mountain before with her was still with her....and despite how she felt about herself on some days...He said she was strong enough to climb and she chose to believe that despite how she felt. He told her she could....and she went with that knowing that He knew what was at the top and on the other side. He whispered in her ear as she started to climb..."I don't change.."

I'm a visual person...I'm the let me follow Google Maps vs. written directions, I'm the let me watch a video or look at a handout for something techie vs. having you tell me how to fix it. I remember it with a picture....the picture above has been something God has been speaking into my Spirit for a couple of weeks. You know how sometimes your cell service isn't as strong in spots. There may be some weather interference (wind etc.), there could be a tower blocking it....or it may just not be very strong where you are at. Those distractions (for lack of a better word) keep us from being able to hear the message that is coming through. You know those times when you keep asking the person what was that again or those lovely "dropped" calls. Things in the natural can reflect things in the spiritual....there are times when things interfere with our reception. We let the busyness of life become an interference , tiredness may distract, but even when it seems like a call has been dropped, God keeps calling. I'm thankful that He doesn't change despite our feelings, our thoughts, our anything. He loved us first and when He lights a fire on the inside of You....there is NOTHING that can extinguish it. You can try to cover it up, but the flame will keep burning...and eventually the heat will become uncomfortable. (Think about it for a minute....) God's flame, His power on the inside of You, His anointing...man can't touch what God has birthed in you....Sometimes our biggest interference is our own stinking thinking, it's us.

There are days when I am my own worst enemy. God knows that and trust me He and I have some deep discussions about it often. He's working on it and the insecurity chain that has been rattling for a year is about to break. God knows, I know it...and the enemy knows it. There is a stirring though in my Spirit of what is still to come. The last year with God has been exceedingly above what I could imagine and more is still to come. Back to the mountain visual.....she stood looking at the mountain not sure if she wanted to climb again, but then came the sweetest whisper to her Spirit....it's a different mountain Daughter...you haven't gone backwards, I've laid out the steps ahead...just walk in what I have called you to.

There are moments in Him that can't be explained by natural words. There are moments when everything in your natural is crying out and He reaches down...and shifts what you can't see to what only He can see. There are moments when you just know as a Child of His, when you are in the lap of the One who can fan the flame He lit....

Walls and Rivers

When I look back through my Facebook memories of today, there have been a couple of blog posts...but they had a certain tone to them. This one is different I hope. Here is my heart, layers pulled back for the next couple of hundred words..

 Six years ago was a day I will never forget, a day that has changed my perspective, my outlook, and my walk with God. A day that in the midst of it, I didn't understand what was happening, but looking back now...God had ordered steps to put in place what was needed to keep everyone safe. He had His hand on that day and everyone involved...there was a battle that took place that day and God had the victory in His hand. There was an anointing that poured out that day....that would change the lives of everyone on the bus and everyone they encountered. (If you are reading this and have no idea what I am talking about...Google Bowling Family bus wreck or read Kathy Crabb Hannah's book). Moving on....fast forward five years...

There were some roots that took place that day, roots of fear, anxiety, complacency, apathy etc. Roots that led me to not eat at Zaxby's for over a year, to speed past 18 wheelers so that I was never stuck behind them or beside them. Roots that led me to not really enjoy that day each year and the memories that it held...oh but God had a purpose. God was as patient as He always is and waited for me to get tired of those roots. He waited for me to see the strength in Mike and Kelly....and spend an hour later that night telling Him I wanted that. He waited for me to be able to see that day through His eyes. To see that He had my steps ordered and ordained and I was right where He needed me to be. To see that nothing was impossible with Him...and I had a very visual reminder of it that would be a testimony. To see that the anointing poured out that day....wasn't just for the ones who took the platform every weekend, but was for me as well. God had a purpose for me as well. I fought going to the mountain last year, but God had once again ordered my steps. He had started to pull away layers in my heart to reveal that He had been guiding my steps all along..., layers that showed the roots I needed Him to pull up...but first I had to let them go in His hands. God was shifting and ordering things into place once again in my life. I headed to the mountain unsure of what to expect, but knowing that He would be there (along with 200 plus women). I'm a creature of comfort and I went to the mountain with some walls...God was shaking them, but I didn't see that they needed to fall just yet.

Kelly preached a word during that time....that said a River runs through it. I didn't fully get it at that moment, but God planted that seed....and He knew it would take root in time. God was redeeming that day for His purpose. I left the mountain changed...but little did I know the change was just beginning to happen. A week or so later, the walls came down....and this Jesus girl felt a freedom I still can't put into words. A freedom that God knew six years ago would be a part of this refining and restoring process....as Amanda has said many times, you have to scrape off the mold and clean the walls in order to restore....God was restoring this Jesus Girl's heart and tearing down the walls she was hiding behind. I remember the day in August when I was texting with Terah and it took root...that the anointing that day was for more than just them, but for me as well. The seed planted on that mountain was taking root.....

Walls went up this day 6 years ago, walls I hid behind unless I was around a few...walls I hid behind because trying to explain to someone who wasn't in that world of what happened that day...would not make sense. Walls that had kept the river that God had deposited in this Jesus girl from flowing...walls that needed to come down and soon because God had a purpose that needed to be walked out. Through time spent with Him, time spent in His presence being poured into by my spiritual parents, and time just listening...God started to reveal in a visual picture what had been going on in my heart (I love how He knows I am a visual person..lol). The walls had started shaking at the mountain and had crumbled soon after....the walls were down and laying in a heap, but I was staring at the rocks that used to be the walls...until I realized I needed to step over them. The night when He spoke in a personal message for me.....I stepped over the rocks, I stepped over to the other side of what God had flowing through me and began to walk forward in who He had made me to be. There are days when I turn around and see what's behind me, but God is loving enough to redirect my focus to what lies ahead....and I truly believe the best is yet to come. God ordered my steps on that mountain last year....just like He ordered my steps on that bus six years ago. He redeemed this day...
Tonight I smiled because God showed up six years ago in a powerful way....and on days when the enemy tries to tell me what I do and who I am doesn't have a purpose..I take him back to an interstate in North Carolina...and tell him to hush it.

I don't know what you are dealing with or what walls may have built up because of something that happened. I do know that as a Child of the Most High, there is a river on the inside of you. A river that is flowing with life, with purpose, and with a power to change your world. A river that brings life to what the enemy may have said was dead. God wants to use you, yes you, the one He calls redeemed and Mine, to share His love, mercy, and grace with everyone. He has a purpose for you and that wall, that wall that makes you feel comfortable and "safe", is holding you back from walking in that anointing and purpose. You can't tear it down on your own, but if you'll let go of it.....and praise with a shout that comes from that inner part....it's going to come down. God will redeem the time....moving forward, trust Him with it.

Be blessed readers....He's a good, good, Father....
Today has been full of peace, texts with sweet friends, and Zaxby's for supper ;-)