You are not an island

You are not an island otherwise known as Melissa had better blog or she is going to EXPLODE!!

Disclaimer first, I am so thankful that I've learned to sort out what I feel versus what I know and regardless of those feelings I know that at the end of the day as long as He is happy that is all that matters. That being said, I'm still flesh and still have to think out loud some days and that only causes me to doubt myself more(lesson in that think out loud with Him first). I'm tired of apologizing for what He put down inside of me and letting the enemy tie me up(see Matthew 12:29). God is not the author of frustration, confusion, or doubt(Hello brain do you get that yet????). God knows what I need and when He's ready the pieces will fall into place, that being said I'm trying really hard not to get ahead of Him but I'm such a planner and so impatient at times. I'm learning that if I miss Him, He always knows where to find me. I'm convinced it may be better to just stand still and take the pressure of the storm instead of trying to walk or move forward. Sometimes it looks like the rain is pouring down so hard that you can't see where you are going, those are the times when you just have to stand still and wait for it to pass. Some days when your mind feels like things are coming one right after another, its important to just stand still and wait for Him to whisper through. The rain is not going to last forever and the sun will come out again. There is a rainbow on the other side in due time. Feelings will mess you up, they can cause you to doubt yourself and cause you to feel discouraged and down in the dumps. It takes discipline to push through the feelings and do what you know what you should do. It takes that same discipline to not drive through Krispy Kreme when the HOT sign is on and purchase a dozen when one will suffice. It's that scripture that talks about knowing the good you should do and not doing it. (Side note...DO not, I repeat DO NOT listen to the enemy when he throws the condemnation up in your face when you mess up. God loves you despite the mess ups and He forgives and forgets). So forgive yourself when He does and FORGET about it. (Easier said then done I know...). I know I must make Him laugh most days because I collect baggage throughout the day and then dump it on Him at night after I've exhausted myself carrying it through the day. I must start dumping it on Him when it starts, which takes practice and discipline and I'm learning.

I know this isn't the typical blog, hope you got something out of it anyway. I'll be back soon with a more inspirational piece ;-) I hope you can see though as the title says You are not an island. I wish you could see inside with what I sort out some days, I'm still learning and in the molding process. I'm a lot happier with me than I used to be, and I'm growing in being okay that other people aren't. I'm letting go of that people pleasing mess, not as fast as I would like, but progress is progress. I know God has gifted me in some areas and I struggle with that because the world I live in wants me to be a cookie cutter. I just want to be me and I want others to see the value in the me He made me to be and not the me they expect me to be. I'm learning to be patient and to sow seeds. I've learned that sometimes its the storms that water those seeds. He'll make them grown in due season.

Have an amazingly blessed week! More to come soon I promise ;-)