On the other side.....

It's Restoration Year according to the Jewish calendar....what are you believing God to restore? Some dear friends spoke this word at the beginning of the year and I'm just going to tell you....God is already restoring the things they have been believing God for (health, finances etc.). They have sown and stayed faithful to the call.....and God is restoring ten fold.

The past six weeks to say I've been worn would be an understatement. If you are on my Facebook, I wrote some about that last night with a verse that God spoke back into my life. Over the last week, God has been breathing life back into my dry bones....God knows just what we need. Just as He took care of Elijah under the tree after he had ran and said that's it, I've had enough.....God knew Elijah was just running on empty and what he needed. Elijah wanted to just quit, but God knew the calling, the anointing, the purpose on Elijah's life......God knew Elijah needed some restoration and a renewal with some time spent with God whispering truth in.....and that Elijah would back up and keep moving forward with what God had anointed and called him to do. God sees the wall before you do....hear my heart Child of God...trust Him to speak life back in at just the right time and to give you what you need to get up. Trust Him....

What are you looking for God to bring Restoration to? What dreams, passions have you placed on the back burner or stuffed down because busy distracted you?  What little things have you been faithful with that God is calling you to let go of so that you have room to embrace the greater He's ready to give you? Could that wall you have finally reached be God's way of saying are you ready for the greater so you can get over this wall? Walls are going to happen....it's a part of life, but it's what we do when we reach those walls that determine if we go over them or around them. (A lot of times going around them just means you hit another and are faced with the same battle...realizing you can go over the wall is a strength building time to know if God lets you hit the wall, He's going to help you get over it too).

I can't explain to you just yet the stirring and the shifting I feel on the inside. There are greater things still to come...God's just getting started. What have you been asking Him for? What's He been asking you for? Give Him what He's been seeking after and watch Him show you what He knows that you have been seeking after. God's always on time and always faithful.....God's ready, are you? Faith says jump in and let Him take care of the details.

When God whispers in....

That uneasy feeling you are feeling...yep you know the one that makes you wonder what in the world God is doing....well rest Child, He's still at work. How else are you going to be able to mount up on the wings of an eagle unless you feel a little uneasy in the process? God knows what He's doing even if you can't see Him working....

So many times we ask God to take us to the next level, to push to that upper room, to fly on wings of eagles, but we don't realize what that means. We don't see the pressing process that must take place before we can be through to the next place with God. We forget what we asked Him for until through tear filled eyes we cry out to God...what are you doing? and He reminds us so lovingly....answering your prayers my Child. God knows the desires of our hearts. He knows when we are ready and will do what He can to push us to that point...once we are willing to take the first step. Once we let Him start peeling back the first set of layers, He will continue until it's all peeled away. Once we give Him access to those places of our hearts that no one else knows about....He'll start clearing them away until only what He desires for us remains. The refining process is never pleasant, but as a friend reminded me last night...there is strength in the pressing. 

There is a book in the last couple of weeks. God's peeled back more layers and sorted through more places of my heart...that honestly, I'm not sure what's left. (That doesn't mean it's all in His hands just yet...but He's shown me what He wants...work in progress here, just being real). God knows when you need a stirring...He does His part by stirring the waters...it's up to you to jump in and grab a hold of the promise for yourself. God also knows when you are truly on empty....He will always provide a word that you need to speak life where the enemy has spoken discouragement and doubt. Take the word to heart and let it take root...especially when it's spoken in season and from a trusted friend. 

I don't know where you are at as this last week of April starts. Maybe you are just doing all you can to keep your head above water and can't see the shoreline anytime soon. Maybe you are doing good just to keep your head up at all because your heart is in a million pieces by the circumstances life has handed you. Maybe you are just worn and weary and needing life to be spoken to the dry bones of your soul. Maybe you just need God to whisper that word that you keep asking Him for, or maybe it's that you just need to know someone is there and understands even when you can't put your heart into words. Know this wherever you are at....God sees you and hasn't forgotten you. He knows your wants from your needs and He's working to put the pieces together for you. I've seen Him take one of the worst days of my life and bring about a family of friends with a story that only God could write. I've seen Him move to what should have taken a life in a wreck, resulted not in any deaths but a greater anointing. I've seen what He can do....but yes even in those stressed out overwhelmed moments you can forget how He's already moved on your behalf..thankful for friends that remind me of that. Child of God, He's working on your behalf even when you can't see Him....or even when you can't feel Him. When you are worn and almost weary, He's working on a way out to help you bear up under what you are pressing through. His promises are true and His word will not return void. He knows how strong you are(even if you doubt yourself) and He's going to pour back into you when you need it.....There is a stirring going on...can you feel it? God's stirring up greater things for you....are you ready to jump into all that He has? This is the year of Restoration...time to serve notice on the enemy and take back what the enemy has stolen....

Walk in victory this week....even if it doesn't feel victorious, know that He's already ordered your steps and placed in your path the ones He needs you to be His hands and Feet too. Love those He gives you to love....and know that if you sow into others, He'll sow back into you. He's not going to let you go empty........(no matter how much the enemy makes you think so, remember he's a liar). 

What if?

There is a DC talk that has been playing in my head off and on this week. What if I stumble? What if I fall? What if I lose my step and I make fools of us all? Will the love continue when the walk becomes the crawl...what if I stumble, and what if I fall....

That line about will the love continues when the walk becomes the crawl is the part that has really started to take root. What if readers? Think about that for a second...what if instead of acting like we have never been in a mess, we shared our messes with each other? What if we let those messes turn into the message that God uses to pull someone else out of theirs? What if we were His hands and feet instead of worrying about being His mouth? What if instead of only seeing our part of the body and tending to that, we saw the entire body and took care of that? What if we truly gave trusting that He would give back double, pressed down and running over? What if we let go of the comparison trap and focused on the God walk?  What if we let passion dictate our time instead of people pleasing? What if we prayed/pulled other through their mess instead of just walking to the other side and hoping someone else will come by and help?

Let's get real most of those questions could turn into a blog post....but that's not what God has planned right now. He's been using them to me as a redirection of His purpose, not my comfort zone. He's been reminding me of His God-breathed passion for simply being His hands and Feet. He's been reminding me that His promises of giving and sowing and reaping are still true.....the farmer doesn't worry about the harvest once the seeds are planted. However, he does tend to the seed and the ground and takes care of it (I haven't been taking care of me enough lately, but that's a blog for another day).  We were not created to only keep giving pouring until we don't have anything left to give. We were made to be a vessel (if you think of the vessel like they used to have in the Bible times...there was never a lid..let that sink in). We were made to receive so we can continue to pour out. It takes time to recharge..hence when God said Be still. I'm the pot typing on the kettle on that, so that will be a blog one day when I learn to sit longer than I am now. This is the year of restoration though and I'm believing for restoration in this area of my life as well....and that's a notice the enemy needs to take notice of now cause the balance is coming back in Jesus name! Moving on....

Don't let the miracle of Resurrection weekend be something you leave in this past weekend. That same power lives on the inside of you......it doesn't matter if you are crawling, walking, or running in that power...as long as you are moving forward. God never said this walk would be an easy one, but He paved the way of how to overcome what's trying to overcome us. I know some of you are reading this right now thinking...yeah but she doesn't know....I truly wish sometimes you could be inside of my head and know the thoughts that I have to hit delete on a regular basis. There are some I quickly delete and others are played longer than they should. I've lived as a stuffer of how I felt for way too long...and God's delivering me from that. My face usually tells how I'm feeling. I said all that to say...I know I'm not real enough some days on these posts, but I get that life is a minute by minute walk some days. I get that the enemy seeks to wear you out and throw every dart he can to try and wound you. I also get that the overwhelmed feeling can cause that anxiety to get out of balance and almost paralyze you. I get that despite how much your soul and Spirit know that God's got this and He's going to take care of everything...(you know those promises we quote in those moments..) that sometimes you just need someone with skin on to come up beside you and say hey ...(and either speak life in you with a word or pray with you about it). I'm learning sometimes praying for someone isn't what they need...it's praying with someone that is going to defeat that battle they are facing. (If you are like me and sometimes feel like you stumble praying in front of others...praying with them via text works too).  I'm my own worst enemy and my own worst critic. I give until it hurts....and I'm usually the one that is getting hurt. I'm learning though that until the balance is restored....the safest place to be is in the lap of the One who made me and knows what those tears mean. I've learned that when sleep isn't my friend, His rest is. I've learned that restoration is a process....I've been on this journey for almost two years now....and He's not finished!  What if you believed that the best was still to come and went out and loved like He did? God's coming back soon readers...let's be busy about what He has called us to do.

Back to the what if ...what if you gave everything? What if you stopped holding back? (That's a Casting Crowns song...) What if you quit worrying about how it may make you feel and trust that God's going to take care of it in His time? What if you realized the pressing is making you stronger because someone is going to need you to pull them along on this walk?  What if you realized that moment is revealing a greater purpose? What if you just got still enough to hear His heart for you this week? Don't walk into this week forgetting all that this weekend has meant.....Miracles, signs, and wonders....greater works will you still do, God's looking for a people, an army who will speak life to what is dry in them, and get up.

Not your typical Easter post....

I should have known when worn met weary last night that God had a blog coming. There is never a pressing that is wasted if we will let Him finish what He's trying to do. The oil comes out with a press, the diamond comes with a press...We fight the pressing sometimes, actually in the flesh we fight the press a lot of times....because it hurts and takes more effort than we really have to give. Let me be real...this week has been a press. I started off the week telling God you are gonna have to speak a word in so I can take a step. I was that desperate for His push. Sometimes we get there ...and it's okay as long as we recognize that we need Him to push. God knows our hearts....and the more we seek after Him, the more we are going to find Him. I've spent many moments this week in tears pressing through to a point where I could lift my hands in praise. Tears have a language all their own...and when we get ourselves out of the way and allow them to come....whew, it takes us to a place in Him that words can't really describe. This is a battle and we are His army. The soldier never puts down their weapons when the war is going on, they know their purpose, and they keep pursuing it. The last couple of weeks have taken a toll on my body physically.....let's just say I know what stress can do and it isn't fun. Stupid devil though because I know the God of restoration and when this season has passed.....what was stolen is coming back to me ten fold. There is a season when as David found, we have to encourage ourselves. We have to move the wood around and stir up the fire that is on the inside of us. Your army will remind you of that when you need it ...trust me. Knowing your army is powerful.....we are all going to get tired at times and feel like we can't hold our shields up any longer without a rest. Know who you can stand behind to catch a breath and who will cover you. In other words.....know who has you covered even before you ask. There are people whom God places in our lives for a reason and a season. The darts are going to come with the blooms, be ready and hold fast to what God has called you to do and who He has called you to be. It's going to feel heavy some days....but just as the cross was heavy when Jesus was carrying it up that hill...God will send you someone to help carry the load until you can lay it down. While listening to a song a few minutes ago from the Bowling Sisters...God reminded me that's what He'll be. If He doesn't send you that Jesus with skin on to meet that need...trust that He's going to meet in a way only He can. 

Hear my heart....I know it's Easter weekend and what the focus of that means, but I also realize that there are some just doing good to press through one day at a time or one hour at a time. The hurts around us are deep, what are we doing to meet those needs this weekend? Jesus died on the cross and was raised three days later for us. Not for us to keep doing church, but to be the church. We should be loving on people and in that love, the doors will open to share His love. We have a saying in education that people don't care how much you know until they know how much you care. Walk in His love....that's all He called us to do really. He'll figure out the details. Maybe you are like me and you have poured out all you can this week.....love yourself like He does. It may mean that you cry your way to His lap...but get there. There is a praise coming that is going to unlock something the enemy didn't want you unlocking. I know it's hard sometimes to let go of what you need, but trust that He will meet it. Oh the blog that's going to be one day....

Not the typical Easter post, but know sweet reader God's not finished. Jesus died and battled everything that the enemy could use to defeat us, then He rose again so that we could one day do the same. 

The line between worn and weary....

Real blog here.....this time of the year it truly feels like someone took my treadmill and upped the speed faster than I can run in the flesh for sure. I'm so thankful that even when I don't feel like I can run it in the flesh, God knows what I can run in the Spirit. Regardless of how fast you are running, if you don't take a few minutes to breathe while you are running and at some point to take a sip of water...you are going to run out of energy fast. Things in the natural reflect things in the spiritual......If we don't take some time to breathe when the pace picks up and take a drink every now and then, we are going to run out of steam fast. I've joked the last couple of weeks that I was going to meet myself coming and going soon....well when you are burning the candle at both ends that is going to happen at some point. I'm thankful God is holding the candle so even though it looks like it's about to burn out, He's not going to let that happen. God wouldn't have told you to press through it, if He didn't know you were going to go through it. Sometimes though we forget the way to press and that's to praise through it...If you are going to go through it, you have to praise through it...because when you praise through it...your focus is fixed on where it needs to be and that's Him.

There is a line between worn and weary. The enemy seeks to wear out the saint and if he can wear you out and you stay in that spot...you will grow weary. Worn out is for a season...weary is a root that needs to be left at the feet of the Master. Know the difference....because if you can recognize when the enemy is seeking to wear you out, you can stop from being worn out. Hear my heart...it's not easy and in some seasons it's harder than others. There are times when it will seem like it's coming from multiple directions, but remember your weapon of praise. Praise Him through and when you don't feel like you have the words, trust that He does. There is something that shifts when that prayer that only your Spirit and His know what you are saying. There is a shift that happens when the tears flow because that's where you are at. God knows your heart sweet friend. He knows when you have given all you have to give and He's saying..."Take a breath in me, take a drink from me. I know you feel like you are running on empty, but I'm not going to let you burn out. You may feel empty but the less you feel like you can do, the more I can do through you. This season of empty is my time to shine through you because the less of you means more room for me." Do you hear the whisper of His heart? Do you hear how much He loves us? Yes, the enemy is seeking to wear you out and a lot of times it's through those "good" things that are keeping you busy. God didn't build you to only give and never receive. You have to take in in order to keep giving out...and I'm still a work in progress with this. I can get so distracted by doing that I lose sight of being. Martha has a purpose, but so does Mary. Sometimes Martha needs to sit down and take a page from Mary...just saying.

Trust Me Child

When the day empties you of all you have to give, you take the time to let God pour back in....even if that's at two o'clock in the morning while working on paperwork. Oh how I wish sleep and I could be friends again like we were doing Spring Break. Some days you are doing all you can to just push through what the day throws at you. It's not that it's a bad day, it's just a messy day......even when your Spirit knows that God's going to make the mess into a message...your flesh is doing all it can to put one foot in front of the other. Stress is one place, empty is another. When the two meet...that candle at both ends feels like it's being burned and about to meet. Hear my heart for a minute.....God knows that very spot and above that, He knows your heart. He knows that you are running on empty, but guess what He knows just what you need to be filled back up again. Take that time...yes it may mean sacrifice on your part (actually it probably will), but when you take it....God will meet it above your wildest expectation. I seriously should be at a wall right now.....my flesh feels it. My flesh has had many nights this week where what little sleep I have gotten has ended in tears. Sometimes God will let you get to a point where the battle you need to win is within yourself.....and that is a battle you need to surrender to Him to win. The verses of He gives strength to the weary and increases the power of the weak have taken on a whole new meaning.....God knows what you need and sometimes He needs for you to trust Him to meet that need. I'm a fixer....to a fault. I'm learning though there are some things that take longer to fix....quick fixes only last so long but eventually, the band-aid loses its stickiness. 

I'm the worst at asking for help (some of you are reading this and going yep with a smile). That weakness is one that God is slowly burning away.......because I've learned that asking for help is not a bad thing. In fact, it takes off the mask and lets you be transparent with those around you. Transparency has been one of my words this year.....I'm learning to be real (sometimes a little too real which comes across blunt), but I have lived too long of my life with stuffing down how I felt about things and not being real about what I need. God already knows our needs....He's waiting on us to get real with Him about them as well. He knows what He's trying to do...that discomfort is there for a reason to push us to the next level, to take us to a higher place. We can ignore it and remain...or pour it out to Him and let Him show us who He is through us yet again. I am sure He sits there sometimes looking at me and going ....does she not remember that I took care of (and lists out a whole long list of things), why doubt now. God wants us to lean on other people for support at times....but He wants to be first. 

Transparent truths I've learned this month: 

• That hurt that the enemy keeps using to wound you....is a place in your heart not covered by God. When you dig up a root and place it in the hands of the One who loves you more than you love yourself....He can cover it and protect it. It doesn't mean the enemy won't ever push on it again...but a healed scar doesn't hurt as bad as one that is still exposed and open. God will show you the hurt, the root...obedience on your part is pulling the root up and laying it at His feet. Let it go child....haven't you let the enemy push on it long enough, it's time for it to be covered under the blood of the One who hurt so you didn't have to. (Heart moment...it's a process, I know that...but I have seen God apply this in some areas of my life...notice I said some because just this week revelation came on another root....and I have a feeling sleep will come when that hurt gets left at the feet of Him) 
• Distractions are from the enemy....if he's trying to distract you then know that he's scared of what you are trying to accomplish, what God is doing through you. 
• Trust God to pour in the words you need if you are willing to take the time to listen. As a friend reminded me this week, God always lines up His word. If He's telling you something, trust Him to confirm it. 
• When you ask for more of Him...realizes that means an emptying of you to make room for more of Him. It's not always going to be easy....but it's always for your good. 
• God will place people in your path, journey, walk etc. that may frustrate you to no end at times, but God is using them to reveal more of His plan and purpose in your life....when He wants you to get closer to your calling...He's going to put someone in your life to re-direct you to it and push you closer to His plan (even if it's initially through frustration). His passion is true and stable...He's going to keep it kindled on the inside of you. That fire you feel...is God moving the wood around so that the flame can get bigger. 

Trust Him this week sweet reader....I know it feels messy, but God is writing a message that is only yours to give. There is a passion that He poured out the day that you were born and He's going to keep it going. What is He showing you that you need to release, let it go? That prayer you have been asking for more of Him, for no limits....step out in obedience as uncomfortable as it feels because if you move just one of your feet, God will move your other one. 

Just thinking...

That moment when as drained as you are, God reminds you of something you wrote almost two and half years ago....and it's in reading that you go...okay God you knew all along. If we truly believe His promises of our steps are ordered by the One who knows us the Best...then why do we question things when they start to happen. Why? Because we feel our way through....the mess of it feels messy, the stress feels heavy, and the weight of it all makes you think you are barely keeping your head above water. It feels heavy because we focus on the defeat of it, instead of the victory that is coming. God started this week with a word...and confirmed it with a similar word from a trusted friend later that day. Our focus is what impacts our steps. If we focus on what God is doing we will line our steps up with His, if we focus on what we are feeling we will line our steps up with that. Hear my heart for a minute...life is messy, sticky, and overwhelming a lot of the times. We give out more than we take in and run at such fast paces that we are almost convinced we will one day meet ourselves coming and going in the middle of it all. Somewhere in the middle of the mess that is stressful, in the chaos that we call life....there is peace. Peace that He is lining things up and moving you into place...peace that could only come from Him. Peace that even when you are running on empty, fighting feelings that are not yours to own, needing some serious sleep, and a visit to the chiropractor......He can pour in the way no one else could. I'm starting to see that sometimes God doesn't send us that answer the way we asked because He wants us to trust that He has something so much better. It's in those quiet moments....that God reminds you that He is praying for you and that even David encouraged himself. Sometimes God doesn't send us that help to pull us along, to push us through, or to even pick us up.....because He wants us to see that it's within us already. The power to walk out our calling even on the days when we don't want to get out of bed is already ours. Yes, we need to live life with others and stay connected....but on the day when you just can't get out the words you need to someone else, He knows already. He knows the words you can't say and is already making a way. 

My sciatic usually acts up on those days when I need to be reminded of ordered steps and even though it doesn't make sense at the moment...God knows the details and trust is all He's asking from me. This week my sciatic is at a 10+ and yes while it's weather, I haven't taken myself to the chiropractor this week either. I'm the worst at keeping myself on the to-do list, but sometimes doing things for ourselves isn't selfish...it's loving ourselves. The commandment to love your neighbor as you love yourself....is two parts. You can't pour out if you don't stay filled. Love yourself so you can love those God places in your path. Trust Him to speak the words you can't get out and when you feel like just finding a bag of chocolate to just eat....or hanging on to the knot at the end of the rope and are just swinging...God's about to send you the next rope and move you along, so just keep hanging on. As far as the bag of chocolate...everything in moderation it's about restoration this year so make a run to Him first before the chocolate (yeah I'm still working on that one).  

When the moments make you feel like you are barely keeping your head above water sweet reader, stay focused on the One walking on the water beside you. He's not going to let you go under as long as you keep your eyes on Him. A friend of mine spoke a word last week that you are being stretched to be strengthened...take the time you need to recharge so that you can keep pouring out as He has called you to do. It's not going to make sense to a lot of people and some may even question it....but the ones who see your heart know why you do what you do....but more than that God knows your heart and wants you to see it as He does. Sometimes we just need to leave the understanding to Him and know that He will tell us what we need to know...as we need to know it.