My heart for a few...

When the power goes out in the middle of the night and you start to hear a beeping sound, it wakes you up. (No worries, it was my battery pack on my computer set up, but nonetheless in a house where there is utter silence....there was a sound and I was awake). I've had about four blogs going this week and nothing that I could finish. To say there are multiple words running on the inside of me would be the understatement....when I asked God about it midweek, the parable of the sower came to mind. Not to give the enemy any more credit than he deserves, but he sees words and shifts...he knows when there is a word that needs to take root and he sees the ground its now being sown into....sometimes the enemy's way of devouring is to go after the seed before it becomes a root. I see the visual of a hawk trying to take food before anyone else can get it. It's a way of picking at something through distractions to keep from protecting the seed/food until the root can happen. This past week our small group lesson was on Surrender and the revelation God spoke down was pretty deep, powerful etc. Then Tuesday night throughout the whole Dove Awards, the message was about sharing Him, about being His hands and Feet, basically about simply loving others.....Wednesday night I was at a moment where I just couldn't people, so I stayed home to watch Restoring Hope. I fell asleep around 7ish but thankful a sweet census lady rang the doorbell and woke me up. I turned church on not long after that and needless to say stayed glued for the rest of the service with tears streaming down my face at multiple times. To say God knows what we need is truth.....and He knows how to make sure we get it.

We are all messes in progress because He's still writing the message as only He can. Some days we get so focused on the chapters that have passed or the chapters still to come, that we lose sight of turning the page to praise Him for what He's writing now.

There are still moments when I don't want to people, when I would rather just lay on the couch and watch TV. There are still moments when I compare myself to others WAY TOO MUCH and forget that the journey I'm running is where my focus should stay. I slip into the comparison trap way more than I should as a Child of the Most High, but this mess in progress is working on leaving that at His Feet for good. Sometimes I think we keep the mess side of us hidden so much that if we would just be real about all of our story....who knows maybe it is what someone else needs to go, okay I can keep moving.  Ecclesiastes 4: 9-12 is a power-packed set of scriptures......and there is a blog to come later on those. That set of scripture has been rocking my world for 17 years and I'm still amazed how God shows me yet another insight into His word.

You can see glimpses into about four different blogs, hence the writing struggle this week. I love music, most of you know that, and sometimes God will drop a line of a lyric in my Spirit. Yesterday was one of those days. I didn't know what the song was, but I googled the lyrics "God you don't need me, but somehow you want me". God knows when you are in a fight...and He's going to give you the weapons to fight back...it's your choice to pick them up and use them. So I found the song and read the rest of the lyrics...imagine that it was called Control (I would say God has a sense of humor, but He just knows...). There is a link at the end of the blog for the song. I'm six weeks into my small group study on Freedom and to say the layers are pulled back....well they are. I've unpacked more stuff than I even realized I carried. It's about five blogs to come on that process, but not until it's completely over..so stay tuned on that. On to the visual from the wee hours of the morning....I've given things to God before only to take them back in a week or so because I thought oh I can handle this now. Over the last two years, I've been unpacking stuff with Him. I can see it...it's a lot of mess spread at His feet. I haven't picked it back up yet, but I haven't left it either. Sometimes the uncomfortable feeling comes because it's a nudging from Him. Something Payne said in the service I watched Wednesday night stuck, we ask God for healing, deliverance, restoration....yet we aren't willing to take the steps He has told us to take. (Paraphrase is mine..) 

"God you don't need me, but somehow you want me, Oh how you love me and somehow that frees me to take my hands off of my life and to give you control..."

Enjoy this beautiful Saturday! More posts to come as He writes...

Thank you for reading and letting me share 💛