Trust Yourself

You may be looking at the title going wonder where she's headed on this one, bear with me. I've had trouble sorting through some "stuff" this week. To be quite honest, I'm so exhausted during the week from what needs to be done, that I haven't slowed down long enough to listen. Thank the Lord for the weekends ;-)

I don't know about you, but change is not my friend. I know it means growth, but I would rather be comfortable. Changing is painful(anyone that has ever done lunges in the gym can attest to that fact), you know you are doing what's best, but it hurts while getting stronger. Life goes in cycles, and often times change brings change. I made a promise to myself that I wouldn't let it get to me this year. There are moments that I know I have failed at that task, but I'm better than before. If you look at a task sometimes it can overwhelm you, it can cause you to panic, but if you just chisel away at it a little at a time, you'll find it doesn't seem as big as before. It's like climbing a mountain, from the bottom it seems so huge and massive, but once you reach the top, there is a sense of accomplishment and when you look down what looked so big looks so small.

So back to the title, one thing I'm learning is to trust yourself. If you don't believe you can do it, others are going to have a hard time believing in you as well. I'm not talking about a prideful confidence, but a confidence that shows yes the task is huge, but I can get this done(because you know you can do all things through Him). Trust Him at His promises, if He brought you to it, He'll take you through it. Sometimes you may be shaking inside and have no idea how you are going to get it done, but if you trust Him, He'll show you. Sometimes a smile means you know He can do it, not because you believe you can ;-) People will cause you to doubt yourself(by words or actions), some intentionally and some unintentionally, believe what He says about you, not what they do. So you didn't meet their expectations, but if you did your best then smile ;-) . So you fell down, show them how you can get back up and keep walking forward. Remember He doesn't give you what you think you can handle, but what He knows you can do. (**Honesty note: I've questioned this more than once in the last few weeks and asked Him was He really sure....I had trouble believing in myself that I could do it, much less trusting Him. We all get to that point, but when you sort it all out, you see He's always had your hand. )After all imagine where we would be if He wasn't walking beside us? I love the quote, I'm not where I should be, but praise God I'm not where I used to be.

One last thought:
²⁵ For whoever wants to save their life^[a] will lose it, but whoever loses their life for me will find it. (Matthew 16:25

Sometimes we give ourselves to something so much that we lose who we are. Have you ever done that? Poured yourself into something so much that it consumed you? It was what you thought about it, what you worried about, it consumed your time(could be a job, relationship etc.) You finally come to a point where you realize you've lost yourself during that. This one thing dictates your whole life, you let the to-do list be your planner for life. How many times do we find ourselves in one of these periods? If we'll stop and look inside, we can see what really matters, what makes us smile :-) That thing that may be consuming us may be something we love, but nothing but God should dictate every minute of our life. The to-do list will be there tomorrow, and God will send someone in your life to understand if it's not done(or He'll help you get it done). I'm learning this step by step, because the last two weeks I've struggled not to be overwhelmed. I've struggled with keeping who I am and not losing that and I'll admit some days have not been easy. I've stayed busy enough that I tried not to let my heart think too much.

We do not live in a cookie cutter world(praise God). He didn't ask us to be like someone else(no matter how much someone says, well so and so did this), you are someone special. He didn't rush through the process but He took time when He created you. He knew what you could do, what made you smile, what made you cry, and what pieces of this puzzle we call life that only you could fill. He knew how special would be, because He loved you from the beginning. He knew when you would fall down and how long it would take you to get back up. He knew there would be days when you would try to make everyone happy instead of making yourself happy. He knew how long it would take before you would feel the pressure and how you would react. He knew you before you were you. After all He made you who you are ;-) and the best thing is, He has loved us from the start. So despite how you may feel, love yourself like He does, believe what He says about you, listen to what He says about you,  and trust yourself. He has from the beginning ;-)