I've reflected on all of my PD sessions lately that I haven't slowed down long enough to reflect on the other part of me. Actually though the more I stepped back the more I saw that what used to be the two me's were finally merging into one. How does that look, that's when the people pleasing chain is finally broken and thrown away. It's when you finally realize that He is all you have to make happy. Every time I "think" I have made it to the other side of that mountain, I decide to test it. Not good, usually ends up in a sinkable moment(see my previous post) and I usually end up with a lesson learned. This time the lesson stuck, why because when you physically don't feel good it tends to make an impact on you. So since reflecting seems to be my theme for the summer, I started listening to figure out where the steps went wrong. Thankfully I heard them loud and clear. I recognized the buttons and saw that I basically left them wide open for the enemy to push. The more determined we get to follow God's leading and to keep our focus on Him, the more the enemy will do his part to make you fall. Falling is not failure, staying down is. It hurts to do it His way sometimes, but that's how we get stronger.
God has perfect plan for each of us and my new theme verse may as well be "Everything is permissible but not everything is beneficial.". For me eating healthy has always been a struggle. I don't mind healthy food, but I also enjoy my ice cream as well. Well on this health journey I've been on, I slowly started letting "cheat" days slip in here and there. Eventually the cheat days turned into cheat weeks and I started feeling blah. I also noticed that with the blah's I was discouraged, felt defeated, and could honestly say I analyzed everything. What was the common thread? I let some of those things God had said give to me for now come back in. Obedience really is better than sacrifice. He takes it seriously when you say I'm yours God and He'll get you to the point where He has it all. The best part is when you give your heart to Him and He gives you His back.
I won't say it's a daily battle right now, but it is a struggle. I am aware of where the buttons lie and where I am with Him. One day the buttons will not bother me, but for now they are better under His care.
So here's to loving the moments in life for what they are, because each one has a precious truth to be found inside of it. Here's to showing love period. You don't have to like someone to be nice to them, manners means being nice. It doesn't mean you have to spend time with them. You can't change others and you shouldn't let them change you. Discernment is a beautiful thing, use it wisely and with common sense. God didn't plan for you to be anyone but who He made you to be. If you are frustrated and stressed, take a look at who you are trying to please and whose voice you are really listening to. Some moments in life are made to just be spent in His arms. You'll be stronger when you start to walk again anyway.
I'm not perfect, I've just learned a lot can be sorted out between me and God. I am finally happy with me and if you knew how much I ran around doing the people pleasing thing, you'd understand the magnitude of that statement. I am thankful God doesn't always give us what we prayed for, otherwise this summer I may have only swam in a fish bowl instead of the ocean. (blog about that later). I am more than a just a___ , and God's about tired of me letting the enemy slide that one in every couple of days. The enemy will use other people to do his dirty work, but that could be a blog for another day. Be careful whose words you take to heart and who you let speak to that inner part of you. Some words need to be deleted immediately instead of replayed. We are not responsible for the actions of others. We are only accountable for our reactions. My prayer is that this will get easier as I get stronger, but for now I'm taking a breath with each thought and listening. I'm trusting the One on the inside instead of the one on the outside. The flesh will not be the loudest in time, but it's a process in the making....another moment along the journey.
Wherever you are at with Him today, take a moment and just stop. He knows where you are at on the inside and on the outside. Ask Him to just speak and then really listen. Once you listen, obedience is the next step and putting actions to the words we have heard.
Enjoy your journey and live it for an audience of One!
Blessings,
~Melissa
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