I almost titled tonight's blog Hi! My name is Melissa and I'm an overachiever. I have been at the computer all day working on something that I probably could have spent maybe a couple of hours on and it still would have been okay. That's me though....I get annoyed with half way and it bothers me if I don't or can't give 110% to something. But you know I'm tired of making excuses for things that are just a part of me. I have finally learned to let myself off the hook when I've done all I can do and it still doesn't go as planned, but I think God calls us to give it all we got. I don't think He planned for us to float through life doing the minimum of what it takes to get by. We should attack each day like a new reader attacks a word he or she doesn't know. Sometimes we are too quick to skip something and miss out on something that God had to bless our socks. I've given up on my days ever being calm again. They are alot better than they were when I started the year, but they are crazily busy all of the time. I asked Him one night toward the end of the week can I just sit down and stop for awhile. It was one of those nights when I was laying in bed running through the list of things for tomorrow(not a good idea...), and guess what He did....He sat down beside me and sat too. Do you get the gist of that sweet picture? He gets us. He knows when we need a rest, He knows when we need a push to keep going, He knows when we need a good Jethro slap(if you watch NCIS, you'll get that picture). I realized by the end of the week how thankful I was/am that He gets me and knows my heart, because honestly some days I feel like He's the only one that does. You know what though...THAT"S OKAY. We put more pressure on ourselves each day than we should, and we definitely let what other people think about us matter more than it should. There is a fine line between people pleasing and obeying authority. There is a fine line between people pleasing and loving other people. When what you are doing(or not doing) causes condemnation and thoughts of self-doubt start to enter in, check your heart and see why you are doing what you are doing. Are you doing it because God told you to, or because you want someone else to ____(you fill in the blank...approve, be happy, say job well done, do what you want them to etc.). God knows why you do what you do, do you?
I get hit with that people pleasing lesson at least once a week. I'm still not at the point where I don't let what other people do, say, or think not bother me. I'm human, but I will say this...I used to get hit with it daily, so I'd say that's progress. Side bar...You know we don't celebrate progress enough. Progress is moving forward and not moving backward. You may not be where someone thinks you should be, but if you are on your way...that's progress. (In other words, not everyone will benchmark every year...my teacher readers will understand that). Don't beat yourself up because you have not arrived at your destination yet, trust me once you get to that one, there is a new map for the next journey taking you to a next destination. We should always be growing, always be moving forward. When you find yourself wanting to run backwards, that my sweet readers, is when most of all you must keep moving forward.
Friends are great, but know who is meant to speak in your life and know who isn't. Not all of your friends are meant to be people who speak into your life and whose opinions you should let affect you. Jesus had 12 disciples, but He had 3 in that inner circle. Too many times we in casual conversation mention something to someone and then we let their approval or disapproval of the situation, affect how we ourselves feel about it. If God has told you to do it, God will give you the grace through it. God has placed gifts inside of you that few may can see. When He is ready, it will be time to open, but until then trust Him to keep molding that gift(like a diamond in the rough, a pearl inside an oyster...some things take time). We can run ahead of God, but it would be like heating a soup and being so hungry you took it off the stove before it started to boil. Yeah, you can eat the soup at that point, but it's not going to be at it's best. Sometimes the greatest revelations come after the boiling point.
The older I get the more I realize how little I still know about somethings, but in that same aspect I realize how much I have gained on some things. I've come far enough to be able to see some of what God has put inside of me. I keep trying to push those things out, but it's not time yet at least not in some spots. Sometimes others don't want to hear about what God is doing in our lives, they need to see it. They need to see that relationship is more than just a religion or a Sunday thing. They need to see what He means to you. I begged God for a voice this year. It has hurt many times than I can count, because I felt like that had been taken away this year. That no one really cared what I thought about anything, or wanted my opinion, or trusted that opinion for that matter. But God had a lesson in all of that. See sometimes we want a voice, so we can take the credit, when God is the one who wrote the story of the day. He showed me that sometimes my voice is heard through what I do, what I may not say, or what I may share with others. That has been a hard lesson, because the flesh wants credit and wants to be noticed. I wish I could say I'm on the other side of this one, but I'm not. I'm still walking it out and some days I fall, but I get back up and try again.
Live so that others don't hear something different, they see it. Live so that even your Christian friends see something deeper inside of you and want to know God like you do. Just like His word says, when it is time for you to talk, He'll give you the words to say. When the words aren't there, don't force them. Don't look at me to see what Melissa can do, because there are going to be times when I fall flat on my face(I'm sure there will be a blog in those times...). Look at the one that is walking beside me, who picks me up when I fall, and cleans my scratches, dusts me off, and says, let's keep going.
Until next time
~Melissa
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