Confident?

The verse of the day from the Bible app today has become one of my life verses. It's been one of those over the last few years that God has used sometimes on a daily basis to redirect me and put me back on His path. You may be looking at the title thinking, um...she must be pretty confident to blog as much as she does. (Umm..no). I'm far from confident, in fact for a long time I battled with insecurity and lack of self confidence on a daily basis. I had formed walls to keep myself safe. As long as I operated in the safe comfort zone, I knew how to play the part. The bricks of those walls on the outside looked like fear, anxiety, and people pleasing. Those walls were tumbled down last year....and freedom has never felt better. I still find myself having to kick a few of the old bricks out of the way every now and then. Some days I may even pick up one of them and look at it...within time the heaviness of that brick reminds me I won't go back, and I drop the brick quickly. With freedom emerged a sense of starting to see the me He had made all along. When you finally can see yourself as God sees you...when you finally grasp the calling He has for you, it's a confidence that can't be taken away. 

We will always battle with the flesh this side of Heaven, but the power on the inside of us is stronger than our flesh. Think about looking in the mirror....for me if I'm relying on my flesh in that moment I can find every thing wrong (that is if I can even bring myself to look in the mirror). When I'm relying on His strength and letting His thoughts become my thoughts...I can look in the mirror and smile. There may not be things I don't like, but I know God is helping me to work on those and I can move on without thinking thoughts that are not His. Grasping a hold of this verse....letting this word take root in my soul and Spirit...doesn't mean I feel confident all of the time. It means that on those days when I start to doubt myself, question, or even become anxious/fearful....He whispers it back to me. He reminds me I don't have to be confident because in all honesty I'm not. I can be confident in Him and what He can do through me. He's the key to confidence and with that another brick gets kicked out of the way.