To say I've been my own worst enemy at times, would be an understatement. God's been peeling back those layers the entire month of February. While God calls us to be a servant, He also calls us to take care of ourselves. I neglected the latter....and today I have been on the couch resting. Rest can be restoring when we truly let it be just that...rest. So many times we let our minds race when we are "resting" that it's not truly rest. We also tend to give out more than the rate we are taking in, and that will eventually take it's toll. Knowing God has it all doesn't mean you stop living, but it's about finding a balance. God can't keep working through you when you aren't able to be you. Let's face it...when we don't feel good, we can't be the us He made us to be. Lesson learned hopefully.....and a new day tomorrow.
God and I have truly had some interesting conversations over the last couple of weeks. I wish I could say they have all been deep, but some have let's just say been insightful. Seasons are a beautiful thing. I've truly learned to appreciate when God pulls back the curtains and shows you some of what He has made you to be. I love the calling that He has placed on my life. For years I tried to embrace a career path/plan and never saw that the calling was in the same place. I've always had an idea of what my calling was since a very young age, but God needed me to find out and embrace who I was first before I could truly understand what He had called me to do. If you are trying to figure out why you are where you are, take a few minutes to ask Him to show you who you are. The Who comes before the where, when, why, and how. God made you, knows every detail about you, and loves you just the way you are...trust Him and only Him to show you who you are. As a Child of His, He only sees you as a Blood covered Child of the Most High. (Remember that when the enemy tries to scream otherwise at you). Freedom from people pleasing is where peace is found. However the enemy slips in when you are tired and busy to try and slip that chain back on...it takes time for your mouth to get sanctified and free, so until then let your heart tell your mouth what to say.
When you ask God for the why and the details, be prepared for the answer. Revelation will come in your time with Him.....but it may not be easy to swallow. He may ask you to stay the course in an area that you would rather run away from....but He knows what's coming, what He's prepared...and why He has you where He has you. You can't explain God's presence, that truly life changing, tears flowing, tongue praying, healing presence to someone that has never experienced it. It's something they have to experience fully for themselves....so many times all they have to do is want it, to ask Him to come sit with them....He's not looking to always be on the move and doing, sometimes He wants us to just ask Him to sit with us, to be with us. His presence in the lives of individuals leads to movements of Him. His presence changing one person that goes to the throne room for something and fights the battle in the spiritual realm...can impact an army that needs life spoken back in them. Wonder why the enemy is attacking you? Is God calling you to intercede for an army that has yet to realize they need to be awakened? The more revelation He has given me about the call to intercede, the more I have started to see the enemy's pressing through busy schedules and physical attacks. (Thank you Lord for revelation that shows us how to FIGHT!). Don't quit doing what He has called you to do just because no one seems to understand your calling. Trust God to keep the fire going that He started...and know that He will place the encouragement you truly need in your path when you need it (not when you feel like you need it).
God didn't give you the testimony for you to keep it to yourself. He didn't restore your brokenness, your hurts, and pull up the roots of anxiety, fear, and depression for you to keep it to yourself. We overcome by the power of our testimony. We all have a story to share. The enemy is very quick to tell us we don't, but personally I think that is because he is scared by it. I've only begun to tell my story through this blog....and I'm thankful God is still writing it.
One last thing...we all have moments where we feel like we have hit a wall. I've told God that many times in my walk with Him. Ever since He led me to this verse a few years ago, this is what He reminds me of...every time I tell Him I've hit a wall(which was the conversation we had last night) God knows we have walls that we are going to hit, He made us, He ordained our steps...He knows where the walls lay before we even know they exist. He stands ready and willing to be the One to help us get over them...as long as we are humble enough to ask (and admit we know we have hit the wall). Trust God to help you get up and over that wall today.
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