You know you are ready for whatever God answers on a prayer when you just want Him to answer. I've been pretty specific with Him this week. I've asked for some revelation on some things, some pieces to the puzzle, some healing to this place that apparently He has ripped the band aid off of. I'll admit the last couple of weeks have been a struggle. I have seen God move in the last couple of weeks, seen Him answer things I didn't even know I had prayed for(love it when He takes care of things..), and been in awe of just how much He loves me. I realized today in the middle of something that would have previously made me analyze myself and get down on myself, but instead of getting discourage I was encouraged. Despite the struggle that today was, I found Him in the struggle. I saw Him through the kids that came through the room at just the right time. The student who previously struggled with Math and today was getting it. Through the student who was focused on completing the task at hand and through the student who said thank you. See I've finally started catching on to the enemy's games. The enemy wants you to be discouraged, doubtful, and analytic. Ultimately he wants to keep your eyes clouded so you can't see God working in the midst of the struggle. The enemy seeks to flip the mirror that you see yourself in over to his side instead of God's. See one side of the mirror lets you see yourself as God sees you, the other side shows you everything else. The choice is yours which side of the mirror you look at. The world has handed you a box. You are always going to struggle as long as you keep trying to fit inside that box. God said I've given you the world, be you. There is a difference in playing the part He has given you to play and playing the part the world would like for you to play.
God's moving and looking to do a new thing in your life. Are you willing to let Him or are you perfectly comfortable staying right where you are? There is a term in the education world known as productive struggle. Sometimes as a teacher we look at a student and everything inside of us says to rescue and give them the answer, but something about them says they are on the right track. So you leave them to work through the process for just a little while longer and at that point, the light bulb comes on and you see a smile sweep across their face. That's how God looks at us as well. He honestly wants to sweep in some days, I'm sure and give us the pieces to the puzzle we have asked Him for,but He stops for our own good. He sees the progress we have made, how the struggle has been productive, and knows that the light bulb moment is coming. Oh how He truly loves us more than we could ever comprehend.
I don't have all of the answers. I'm not even sure I've turned over all of my puzzle pieces just yet, but He knows that. He knew when we started this journey together over twenty years ago just where I would be at this moment. He knew how the day would go and where the week would take me. He knew that my feelings would honestly make me say that's it, but how despite the irritation of the sand I would catch a glimpse of the pearl. Seasons are just that for a season. Enjoy them where you are while you are there. A little piece of wisdom that I had always heard, but today finally saw is no one can make you inferior without your consent. In other words, You have a voice, you make a difference, and He has you where He wants you for this moment (Otherwise He would move you...). You decide what you think and what gets to stay in your thoughts. That is a huge truth to let sink in for a moment. If you let discouragement, doubt, and analyzing settle into your thoughts, you will plant seeds you would rather not reap. Choose to plant seeds on what He thinks about you and the truths that He has promised(regardless of what your feelings tell you.).
I've learned to appreciate the struggle. I've not been perfect through it, but He's patient enough that I'll probably get the chance to re-do part of it again. I'm not as strong as I need to be in some areas, but I'm learning I don't have to be as long as I turn that area over to Him. Just as the classic children's song says He is strong when we are weak. Struggling right now with something? Tell Him about it. I promise He already knows that, but is waiting on you to ask Him for help. He wants to help with everything, so loosen the grip, and release it to the only One who knows how the pieces fit.
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