10 years ago, I remember telling a friend I wanted what she had. I had seen what more of God looked like, what the abundant life looked like up close. I saw what it was like to praise Him through a fire, not just on the other side, but during. Hear my heart, God and I had been on a journey together well since I was born, but we had been learning what this relationship thing was all about since I was 9. Tradition can satisfy for awhile, but just like physically eating, you can't keep eating the same thing over and over. Eventually your tastes change, your hunger changes, and what satisfies you changes. The desire for more is planted within us when we enter into this covenant relationship with God. He patiently waits as the seeds take root and the flower begins to bloom. He waits as we try to take care of the flower on our own, but eventually He knows the ground will become dry and nothing we can do on our own will water it. He knows that we will eventually become so desperate that we pray for rain. Rain that doesn't just sprinkle, but a gully washer as we call it in the south, that permeates to the very core of the root. A rain that doesn't just wet for a time being, but a rain that fills the ground and satisfies. A rain that leads to a new season, a season of bloom.
It was a journey of 10 years seeking for more, but God was faithful. He honors the desires of our heart, and when our hearts are seeking for more of Him...it makes Him smile. God puts pieces in place to bring about our hearts desires. Sometimes those pieces can make us uncomfortable, but the pieces always fit in the Maker's puzzle. Sometimes we have to get so uncomfortable that we become desperate, desperate enough to say God...do what you need to do. Sometimes we have to get so desperate that when says Are you ready yet..we scream back YES! For me that time finally came earlier this year. The journey had finally got to a point where I needed God to do something period. I just knew I couldn't keep doing the mountain the same way. I needed up and over, through it, or it needed to move. Going around the same mountain was getting old and (dizzy). God brings about things in our life to pushes us to where He wants us to be. God wants all of you. He knows when you are going through the motions, when the cares of the life have become a burden for you instead of something you give to Him. He knows when you have that face plastered on at church and are just doing what you know is right, all the time praying..for God to move it or move you. God knows and more than that He knows you. He knows how long you can keep going through the motions before you become so desperate that you finally listen to what He is whispering. He knows when you are finally ready to burn the tradition box and let Him break those chains of the past hurts. He knows when you are ready to dig up the roots of bitterness, resentment, and anxiety. Yes child..He knows and He doesn't push you He knows you are strong enough and ready.
I'm thankful He saw that I was ready. I'm thankful when He said "Are you Ready Now?" I screamed out yes. I'm thankful that He was patient as I took Him back to all of the places of past hurts, past bitterness, anxiety, insecurity, and fears. I'm thankful He took those roots and broke those chains of the past so I could run forward. I'm thankful that He took me to a mountain in the summer and started the waters stirring. I'm thankful that He kept the waters stirring even when I glued my feet to the floor, and kept talking through a sleepless night and a migraine to break the final chain of tradition off. I'm thankful that He spoke through the migraine on a drive home from Nashville, "Are you a Baptist or are You Mine?" (Goodbye tradition chain...). I'm thankful for a word from a Pastor friend this summer on "One word from God changes everything.." that started something inside of me I haven't gotten over yet. I'm thankful for an altar place of prayer that I have met God in for a month now and seen Him move in ways only He could. I'm thankful for an anointing that the enemy tried to convince me I didn't have, but God said it's been mine all along. I'm thankful for finally realizing and believing that for myself, so I could grab a hold of that anointing and start walking in the power God said was mine. I'm thankful for a God who has stood so close to my backside on this journey that every time I have wanted to turn around and run back to the comfortable, the familiar, the past...the wall I keep feeling like I have hit has been Him. I'm thankful for His promises and what He started He will finish. I'm thankful for a walk of obedience, a fire that I can't keep shut up in my bones, and an obedience walk that doesn't always make sense to me....but it's not mine to understand. I'm thankful to be covered by Him and to know that even when I feel like the day may be a mess...He's got a message to bring forth.
God I pray right now for the ones reading this that may be going, well that's good for her....but I can't see how that could work for me. I pray that you speak life to their hearts right now. God move in their hearts, draw them to more of you...and whisper it to them until they hear it. God if they feel like they are on autopilot, going through the motions....show up and and show out for them this weekend. Throw some wood on the flames, stir the embers, and relit the fire the enemy has thrown cold water on in their hearts. The authority, the power, and the anointing is theirs for the taking...God give them the strength the reach out, believe it,and grab it for themselves. Break chains this weekend...in Jesus name
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